My cat was 5 when I got new cats. So not as old and grouchy as yours. :) it did take him a bit to get used to them, but he was lonely from having his brother die too.

I would probably get two kittens not one so that they have each other to play with and rough house with.

Has she always been cranky?
Has the vet ruled out an organic problem?

Assuming that she's just a crabby old diva,
if I wanted another pet, I'd sure get one:

1. Ten isn't that old.
2. Maybe she is behaving in a defensive mode, scared by the impulsive movements of a 5 year old. A younger, more playful kitty for your daughter might give your older one a respite.
3. Maybe she just needs a kitty companion her own self.
4. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

I would probably get one at least 3 or 4 months old, though, not a baby kitten.
I think it would stand a better chance of not being completely buffaloed by Miss Attitude, & a 5 year old child, even if she's been around kitties all her life, may not have enough presence of mind & enough restraint to keep from, say, hugging a baby kitten hard enough to hurt it or to make it hide every time it sees her.

There *will* be some hissing, spitting, growling, ugly-cat-face-making (ears flattened, nose wrinkled, forehead wrinkled, teeth bared), maybe even some screaming.

That's the way cats are.

It *does* stop, usually within only a few days.

You just may have to take a bubble bath for a few days...

Best luck!

sylviatexas, never thought of her as a cranky old diva but, now that you mention it.... She has always been this way. She seems refreshed after we come back from vacation and only slightly happy to see us. Prefers my husband as he ignores her. She is regularly checked out and the vet says all is good. The five year old has always annoyed her (but she knows not to scratch or bite so she isn't in full defense mode) but we just gave her a ton of places to hide and warned the kid not to corner her. My daughter is amazingly accomodating as well. The cat will go on her bed and she leaves her alone knowing that she doesn't want to be patted. If my daughter weren't great at understanding that the cat has needs too, I don't think I would bother. She is a better pet owner than I am.

Your cat sounds very much like my old cat, Pea. I adopted Pea as a kitten when I already had a diva adult female, Tempest. Although Tempest had lived with other cats before, she never bonded with any until Pea. I think it was the "diva aura" in Pea to which Tempest responded. She took her under her wing and taught her as much as she could about being a proper cat. After Tempest passed on years later, Pea was an only cat for a very long time. She was aloof and unpleasant by nature, always complaining about something or other. It was just her nature. She tolerated us and the dogs, but that was it.

I brought home a male kitten at one point. Pea despised him with a passion. Sadly for us (but not for Pea), Zeke was accidentally killed by one of our dogs. After that, I made the decision to never inflict Pea on another unsuspecting feline and resigned to remain a one-cat household for the remainder of Pea's life.

Life, however, had other plans. When Pea was 18, we found ourselves in the unenviable position of having to rescue a mother cat and five kittens from an abusive situation. We gave the mother and kits the upstairs realm, while Pea ruled downstairs and her outside kingdom. After weaning, the mother went to live with a friend of ours, but the babies remained in our family. Pea was NOT a happy camper!

Pea lived the last four years of her life with the five babies AND two more cats we ended up adopting from a neighboring farm where the elderly owners had passed away. Pea ultimately accepted her fate as matriarch of a household with many more feline inhabitants than she would have preferred, but she never enjoyed the company. She would have been happier to have lived the rest of her days as an only cat. Tempest remained the one and only feline friend of her lifetime.

Some cats enjoy feline companionship; some don't. From your description, my guess is that your cat falls into the "don't" category. If you can't resist the urge to adopt another feline, be prepared for open and ongoing warfare. Your cat is used to running her own household without interference or interloping by another of her own kind. While it's possible she may learn to enjoy another cat's company, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that to happen.

You also need to consider the fact that stress can promote illness and/or inappropriate behavior (aggression, soiling, etc.) in cats. Right now your cat is aloof. When stressed, she may become overtly aggressive toward you and your daughter.

I vote for not getting a second cat, but that's based primarily on my previous experience with Pea. I currently live in intermittent harmony with fourteen felines.

Laurie

It is not advised to get another cat when you already have an older cat. You have to think what's best for her. Another cat could make her life miserable. Why would she want to share what she has?

I agree with boopadaboo. I had had every combination of cats, dogs, cats and dogs, all adopted one at a time, and then 2 1/2 years ago we adopted two ten week old kittens, with an elderly granny kitty in the house. We kept them separate from her, as she was ill with cancer, and she had to be euthanized two months later. But having two young ones was a revelation in cat raising and cat behavior.

If they are kept together and away from your first cat, they will bond to each other, probably intensely. One of the most important things is that they will play/fight with each other and will be much less likely to scratch your daughter. Instead, they will want their loving pets and strokes from her, and will look to you and her as their gentle "mommies". At the same time, they will play with her as much as she wants to. Because they will be so rough on each other, you'll be able to help your daughter learn to love the quiet times that cats enjoy with people. They will also always have each other when your family isn't around, and Cat #1 is glaring at them!

The only downside to having two kittens (and it wasn't for us) is that for the first year and a half or so they will upend and cause mayhem wherever they are. They can't help it - running and jumping and leaping are a basic instinct. And - two kittens together are simply hilarious - better than any TV or video game!

As a child who was raised in an apartment, I couldn't have the pets I so wanted. I think that a five year old who is already tending to "kitty chores" and loves cats, deserves at least one with whom she can interact and relate to.

I understand Laurie's opinion and to a certain would agree, if there weren't a child involved. We waited for three years as our old cat's cancer progressed (vaccine associated fibrosarcoma - not a painful nor especially debilitating cancer), and then, when it was clear that she was going to lose her battle, I just collapsed and got our newbies. Couldn't wait any longer for merry kitty life in the house again!

Do keep us informed as to what you decide!

Our Simba was 10 when we brought Clancy into the household and it was fine...When Clancy was 2, I started fostering with a local rescue organization and as usually happens, couldn't give up 2 little girls..Clancy was not too happy with this decision and still 2 years later will hiss at one of the girls..We think he likes to let them know who's boss, although most of the time, they ignore him.
It's best to keep them separated for awhile, just letting them smell each other under a door or on your clothes, then let the little one start to explore with you there in case of serious spats...Most of the time, we advise our new "parents" not to pay more attention to the new kitten and forget the old one, but probably in your case, as was with our Simba, he could care less if you made a fuss over him...Just like bringing a new baby home from the hospital, don't make the sibling jealous.....
I think you'll find, bringing a new kitten into the household will keep your older one "younger". Our Simba is now 14 and he is more playful and gives the rest of the cats a run for their money....Just think, having 2 cats, twice the love......Good luck in your decision....

I don't know anything about integrating cats since I only have one, but I do have young children. My kitten is almost 7 months old and I got him at 4 months. My kids (girls) are 4 and 6 years old. The 6 year old is so good with him (pets him just the right way). The 4 year old can be annoying to him -- no matter how many times I tell her she still wants to "hug" him and put her face all over him.

I just wanted to say that I notice a big change in him in the last month. In the beginning he would often run away from my 4 year old, although he has only scratched her once in 3 months and has never bitten her. Now he pretty much takes whatever she gives. I think he knows that I am not going to let her hurt him. I also pretty much forbid her to pick him up as he is over 7lbs now and she just can't manage it properly. I have also taught her that if she pets him nicely he will stay by her but if she is silly or rough with him he will run away.

I am also thinking about another kitty, mainly as a friend for my current one when we go away. I have heard that neutered males accept new cats much better then females so I wish you good luck!

PS: many rescues will let you return a cat if it simply does not work out (although I am sure your child would be heart-broken).

My grouchy diva, Elaine, just died this summer at the age of 20. I had her since she was 8 weeks old and she was a grouchy prima dona even then! It was just her personality. She would even hiss at her own litter mate sister who was the sweetest cat in the world. When the litter mate died at age 16, I adoped twin one-year-olds. Elaine never warmed up to them. The first few years had some rough spots as the teenagers bounced around the house and chased Elaine (or tried to). Eventually the two settled down and they all learned to live together: a separate peace. And as mentioned, Elaine lived to a very ripe old age. I think cats will adjust together even if they don't ever become friends. I do recommend you get another cat: you'll never know until you try. I think it is wonderful for a child to grow up with a sweet and loving pet. But you will need to give it ample time. If you decide to get just one, not two, I'd also advise an older cat. A kitten will probably drive your older cat even more crazy.

We've always had at least 2 cats. I have had old grouchy ones and brought home new kittens as well. It all seemed to work out. Sometimes they got along and other times they just simply ignored each other.

I have 2 cats now who are just over a year old. They are sisters and one is a happy playfull kitty and the other one seems like a grouchy old lady already! LOL!
Cocoa can be petted and loved on by all the kids at the same time (we have 4 kids!), wore as a "scarf" by oldest daughter for hours on end and loves every minute of it, sleeps with youngest son at night cuddled right up to him, basically she loves any kind of attention...even plays with the 70 pound puppy and comes back for more!
Now our Cinnamon hates everything. You go near her, she snarles and hisses at you. She tries to boot youngest daughter off the bed, even though it is youngest daughters bed! Hates to be petted, loved, looked at or even walked by most time. Detests the dog and even attacks it when it is sleeping!
The cats do get along, they play together and Cin seems to enjoy it, but walks away in the middle of it, hissing at Cocoa - totally disgusted. We have had them both to the vet, got them spayed, they have their shots...nothing is wrong with her medically, she is just a grouchy little snot! lol!

Like people, some animals are just plain grouchy I think. I say if you want another cat, go ahead. Miss grouchy will learn to live with it or ignore it.

this makes me sort of teary! People never get why I love my grouchy cat and I think her personality is wonderful. She just doesn't dole out love and attention willy nilly. When the cat does curl up and cuddle with my 5 year old (very very rare). The five year old will say, "I was so lucky today!"

Aww Refin, thats cute what your daughter says. My parents have the grumpiest cat I have ever seen. He is spoiled rotten and he doesn't do anything to deserve it other then be grouchy! But they love him to bits and shower him with love and affection, even though he hates every minute of it lol!