Thank you for the update, golddust. I realize now that you've been crazy busy and my request couldn't have come at a less opportune moment...so I really appreciate that you took the time to write such a great reply. What an amazing soul Daniel is, and lucky to be surrounded by so much love and support. I remember Daniel's interest in gardening, and it's wonderful to hear that he has followed through with it. It reminds me of Martin Luther's (supposed) statement that "even if I thought that tomorrow the world would end, I would still plant my apple tree" (rough quote). There's something so powerful and eternal in the world of plants, even little annuals and weeds. The story about his doctors having to fight for his medication coverage makes me shake my head. How does someone make a decision to deny something like that?! Like Daniel needs more stress. It's got to be pure ignorance, which makes a dangerous admixture when combined with power. Maybe you all will be able to find a place for him to live that's close enough that he can comfortably come back and keep tending his original garden, in addition to beginning a new one? A garden one has worked for any length of time has such memories and energy; I remember my angst at leaving my 'first' garden back in NC when we moved west. And I second pesky's request; please send Daniel and Sandy a g'webber's warmest wishes for problem-free coverage, sunny days (both meteorologically and physically) to work in the garden, and of course, fertile organic soil : )

Son had a large wedding and reception but because it was in the afternoon, no dancing. But if we did have a song it would be Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me." His small high school graduating class sang that to the parents then they gave the mom's a rose. Talk about crying! DIL knows what a close knit family we are and she loves how close I am to my son's. Now that she's a mother of a son she really understands the special bond between son and mother which is not like the old saying goes, "A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daugther is a daughter for the rest of her life." Heck, I still get onto my children! I'll always remember Barbara Bush speaking about Jr., "Just because he's the President doesn't mean he can put his feet on my coffee table!" lol

My dear my dear, How did you know? Are you perhaps a long lost relative of mine? I just came down to the computer (long stair climb for an old biddy like myself - OK not THAT old but it makes a more interesting tale)after just putting some Earl Grey into the teapot to steep. You should perhaps look through some catalogues or something and just see how they work on a busy pattern and do the framing. I had a girlfriend who once ordered a pair of curtains and when they arrived looked them over carefully and made notes, ordered the same fabric from the same catalogue and sewed up identical curtains to the ones she first ordered at less than half the price. Some may think that is terrible but I bowed to her overall plan. She returned the original curtains and got full credit as they had only been opened and looked at. Oh and I won't bring my sewing with me for tea, you just might discover all my mistakes that I cover over.....

@ justmetoo----His now 21 year old son assaulted me, not the one that lives with us now. His mother does feed him stories and has for years let them in on the finances and done everything in her power to cause trouble and discontent. To be honest, in my opinion, this all went off the rails with this particular child when WE bought him a car. After my husband and I did this he kept the ca for about 2 months and decided that he didn't want it anymore. I had a truck that we were not using so SS came to me and said he wanted to buy it because, a. he wanted a truck, b. it would teach him what it was like to have financial responsibility. I should have seen through that right there, because I don't know many kids that would say that. I was honestly against it because I saw nothing but trouble, but after all the hounding I got from my husband and SS, I gave in just to shut them up. I stipulated that there would be rules, the vehicle would not be his until he paid it in full, it could not be driven out of the local area further than 50 miles, and since it was in my name and under my insurance he was not to haul all his friends around and he had to let us know where he was going. Keep in mind at the time he was 16, so I don't think I was being to unreasonable. That was fine for about 2 months and suddenly he stopped paying (payments were $50/month), breaking curfew, rude, sassy, etc. He wants to put the vehicle under his mothers insurance, because she doesn't have to know where he goes. Then he decides he doesn't want this vehicle and he wants to sell it and buy something else. Now I have no way of knowing what my husband and his son discussed or concocted, and they are famous for making little deals and leaving me out of the loop. (That's another issue) So, I agreed to allow him to sell it with the stipulation that he only keep what was leftover from what he owed us because I just wanted to be rid of the situation.. Well you would have thought I was asking for his first born, because suddenly he doesn't understand why he has to pay for something that had been given to me in the first place and why did I not just give him the vehicle. So he sells it and when my husband does not turn over the full amount to him, he says, "Mom told me you would not give me what you owed me!" HAHA BINGO! So I told my husband, BM is obviously planting seeds in his head, which you can't reason with this woman she is a nut job, we have tried. He gets a new car with his mother and adds it to his insurance and in even more attitude, he came over one night to fight with my husband about this entire transaction. Do I know if my husband has lied to him? No, I do not, however that is no excuse to talk to your father that way. In my opinion, bottom line SS is mad because he did not get what he wanted from us. This is the same child that asked his Dad to change the custody agreement so that he could stay with us more because he did not like living at his mothers house because everyone fights there all the time, per him. My husband even gave him $400 to register his new car that he got with his BM with the understanding that he would pay it back because he is working. This was 6 months ago and the boy has yet to make any attempt to give us anything, in fact he told his Dad in the past few weeks, "I don't have any F*&^ing money, so why would I give you any? I'm not paying you back." NICE! My husband left his son OVER $300 for lunch, food, etc whilst he has been away, gives him money to eat when the SS is at work, school, to go out with his friends....but the boy has a job, he is already in college. I feel that we have done so much for him and all he does in expect more and disrespect more. He will walk right past me in my home and look right through me and not say a word. I feel that I have done more for him in the 5 years I have been married than his own mother does for him. Its just a mess and it makes me very sad because it was NOT always like this. We used to do things as a family, have dinner together, go on trips and now I can't stand the sight of him.