Her son is adjusting well. He helps her out more around the house too. And she is lucky she lives next to her mom and dad so they help her out too (like cleaning her cat box since she was told not too while she is going through chemo). She said she never realized how much her son loved her until she was going into surgery and he was holding her hand the entire way. Terry has a great sense of humor and a good attitude so I'm sure that helps in putting her son's mind at ease. She strikes me as the type of mom who would cry alone so as not to upset him. She is also a little overwhelmed with the cost of everything but she is thankful when insurance covers the cost of her wig/hair pieces and the clinic gives her samples of extremely expensive medications. Keep those prayers comin'!

Seagrass, you made me smile with the "old hippie" reference. That's what my kids call me and I remind them that I'm not THAT old, geez. When my Aunt Ronni had her mastectomy, nothing tasted good except chocolate milk, I think she lived on it. Nothing I could cook, bake or buy sounded good, except that chocolate milk, so maybe chocolate really does have medicinal qualities. I think the hats and scarves are a good idea, it's getting cold here, as well as a funny video or two, something family friendly since she has small children. I think letters and cards with maybe an occasional "I'm thinking of you" surprise would be nice, not overwhelming but enough to let her know you're thinking of her. Good luck to your friend and her family, she (and they) will be in my prayers. Annie

To all who have wished me a speedy recovery: Thank You! I am feeling steadily better (1 month out), and expect to be back to full strength shortly. @Alisande, If you think you may have babeseosis at the moment, then insist on being tested. Same with anaplasmosis, both are less-difficult than Lyme to diagnose from blood smears, I believe. (The issue with the blood supply, aside from the traditional head-in-the-sand attitude of the blood industry, and of course the cost, is that there is no rapid-enough test for babeseosis -or possibly the other tick-borne diseases -to work with the need for fresh blood.) But as I mentioned, anaplasmosis has distinct, characteristic, changes in routine blood work that are almost diagnostic. I can check next time I am in the medical library if there are specific changes in the case of babeseosis. I may have that info for erlichiosis, if you'd like to know it. Anaplasmosis has distinctive mullberry shaped artifacts (morullae) in the disease-specific blood smears (as does erlichiosis, I believe). Babeseosis is different but unless you, like I, have had malaria it's pretty distinctive in the blood test for it. The tests aren't inexpensive (the unadjusted street price for them is $500-$1,000 -each- but my insurance company whacked both of them down considerably. Since you're on Medicare, you'd only pay a percentage of the CMS-negotiated cost which is likely to be as aggressively moderated as that of my own insurance company's contractual rate. Since all three are bacterial, not spirochete, -caused it doesn't require the complex analysis of PCR bands that Lyme does. But frankly if I was on my second continuous month of Lyme I would have pretty awful constitutional symptoms from that lengthy treatment alone. I can barely make it out the 30 days of a single course before I have disturbed sleep, night sweats, muscle aches and pains, etc. Part of my fierceness about discovering ticks early is to avoid the need for the lengthy course of anti-Lyme doxy. Since doxy won't really do anything for babeseosis - and other drugs will - why keep taking what may be the wrong cure? I don't think you would experience symptoms from babeseosis or anaplasmosis (or even Lyme) infection before locating the tick. The incubation time needed to get sick from a still-attached tick would have resulted in a deer tick as big as a green pea, a nasty pearly-grey tight blob. It's hard to imagine you wouldn't have noticed it well before getting sick if it was still attached. Don't you itch like mad when you have a tick attached for more than a few hours, not to mention days? I'd be wild! BTW, the tick-hours-of-bite measurement has a built in problem: the aging relies on analysis of stomach digestive contents. But that assumes, and it is not always true, that the bite the tick was discovered making is the only bite, not a second one. Also you mentioned you squashed the critter in removing it. You might want to consider beginning more intensive searches for ticks on your body twice a day in order to not miss one. I have hair so long I can sit on it so I do realize it can be hard to check your scalp and hair. I have also found attached ticks under my breasts, in my belly button, on various unmentionable parts of my bottom, and even larval ones between my toes and fingers. I usually keep my long hair tied up in pigtail outdoors. I tuck the pigtail down the back of my shirt to minimize the likelihood of ticks getting caught in my hair. Of course I always have a hat on outside for sun protection, so my head and scalp are less-common tick areas. I do tick-checks at least twice every day of the year, unless I am away from home overnight in the city. It's just like brushing your teeth. I'm not convinced that Lyme "lurks in your body" but given that it is caused by spirochete I suppose it's possible. (Another spirochete-caused illness, syphillis, has a proven habit of lingering on and re-occurring, often despite treatment.) I know, for certain, that I have had Lyme (from clearly positive blood tests), been treated successfuly and subsequently had lengthy periods of profound physiological, and mental stress, without Lyme popping back up and adding to the problems. And I still have one band for Lyme on the latest PCR, which indicates an old, resolved infection, so there's no question it's still visible in my blood, but not thankfully making a pest of itself. I also still have serological evidence of malaria in my blood and I haven't had any illness from it in more than fifty years! But the bacterial diseases (anaplasmosis, babeseosis and erlichiosis) seem extremely unlikely lurkers and later-pouncers, especially if treated. What I definitely think they can do, however, is damage other organs and systems resulting in consequential, long-term problems (like the poor fellow described above who lost his spleen as a result of a babeseosis infection.) Your description of high fevers, muscle aches and pains, etc., sound much more like anaplasmosis than Lyme. Did you have any "regular" blood tests done at the time? The average time from bite to onset of symptoms with anaplasmosis is 8 days. I could look that time up for erlichiosis and babseosis, if needed. I don't know enough about Fibro, but aren't night sweats and aches and pains part of that, too? You may not need to go to any doctor more specialized than your primary care doc to check for the bacterial tick-borne illnesses. And then you'll be able to know, and treat, any that are there. I didn't get any hint that the tests for them lead to confusing, or contradictory results, as I know the Lyme test can, because it is a different, and more complicated test.. If you test negative for them, including having normal routine blood results, you can cross them off your list of worries and look elsewhere. (And get off the wretched doxy!) HTH, L.

First, it seems you have far more of a need of a relationship with him than he needs with you. Could that be part of the problem? No offense, but some have to be "popular" with everyone and possibly this is what's troubling him. You tried to be a bigger person by offering help, but perhaps the attitude of "bigger person" is coming across in a way you didn't intend. Maybe you're coming across as he's not doing his job, not doing it to your standards or something? You say you're a strong personality and perhaps you're not coming across as kind as you intend. Are you coming across like you're trying to boss him around? Very possible. Again, no offense, but can you live with a situation where you're not loved by all your coworkers? I'm sure you're intentions are good, but sometimes the delivery is bad. I'll admit, when I read that you tried to be the bigger person and do things, it really came across as arrogant to me. I suspect this is part of the issue. Going to the boss because someone won't talk to you is pretty petty to me. I haven't really seen anything causing trouble in the workplace. Perhaps his remarks are because you're trying too hard? Maybe he's bothered by that. Why not try giving the guy some breathing room? A friendship might develop or might not. But at least if you back off a bit, maybe it will solve the problem. Since you don't know what's going on in his life, you don't know his intentions, but you're definitely coming across here in a noncompassionate way to me. Perhaps he's having tough times? Family issues? Financial problems? To have someone at work putting pressure on doesn't help. Give him a break. The other option is whether there's someone who knows you both that you could ask if they have any idea. But the problem is whether they would tell you or not. Perhaps he's confided and they'd feel a duty to not spread it out. I think it'd be nearly childish to run to the bosses over what has been said so far. Would certainly make you look like Mommy/Daddy, Jimmy isn't being NICE to me! And would only cause more tension in the workplace for everyone. Sometimes less said is better. Especially when there's the tension there clearly is.