Please tell us - what's a hoda?

Hoda was a decorating brand in the sixties? that would be similar to the cheaper stuff at Hobby Lobby today.
Small in scale, poorly made, skimpy, a knock-off of current trends, and most important, cheap. Not that I have anything against cheap, mind you!

Well I try to answer but I will only submit my post if I am really sure I have said my opinion ......nicely.

Sometimes I try to post a response and just decide against it and delete it. I guess it depends on my mood and how positively I can respond.

From my perspective, *most of the kitchens, for example, are not something I would do for myself or design for a client, but that doesn't mean they aren't great kitchens. I think it is important to critique from the homeowner's viewpoint, not necessarily one's own. Of course, personal taste is a part of the critique, but I don't think we should only like what conforms to what we would do ourselves.

One of the best lessons I learned on this board was to get rid of a lot of hoda! Luckily I came on this board after remodeling my house so all the hoda was in boxes. Now I'm afraid to get it out! ;-)

I've read every single post in this thread and a few of you have mentioned that the one requesting advice SHOULD do this or that.

Just my opinion, but if you offer suggestions and never use the word SHOULD, your comments will be received much more positively, regardless of the comments.

If I say "You SHOULD do this or that", I am being arrogant and I'm communicating that I know better than you.

Ditch that word and you'll go far!

Please don't miss understand, my comments really aren't pointed to anyone in particular. I'm just saying this because it happens a lot. But seriously, haven't you ever read a post that made you think, oh! let me see what I can find to help and you spend time researching or fixing pictures to help give a visual, you post the results whatever they may be. You anxiously wait to see if it helped....then the poster will thank someone who just responded and ignores what you've written entirely or worse yet, they never show back up to respond at all.

What's the best online source for cheap hoda ?

I have had that happen, luck, and it is such a letdown. I don't really know the answer...sometimes I think we all just want to be "the winner of the best idea". I can get competitive even in ridiculous things.

It's vintage now, Mitch, and ebay does have some.

Sure, if the homeowner doesn't like it either! But if they like it, and I think it's awful, what's the point?

I rarely comment on other people's rooms because either:

- I love it in general and 85 other people have already said the exact same thing and I can't think of a compliment that hasn't already been given.

- (Rarely) I hate it, consider it hopeless, and wouldn't want to say so.

- (Often) I have no 'magic wand' ideas to contribute other than what has already been said.

So to get more to the point -- I only DO comment if I have something specific to contribute, or really love a room and get in early! ;-)

It's always nice if someone can use your suggestion. I've never thought about it as being competitive though...hmmm...

Lesterd: I guess it's a matter of perception with those words, I personally don't see anything arrogant about them at all...I don't recall off hand reading responses that say that, but to me it's just more of a way of relaying a thought as if you're actually speaking to the person and not writing which I think a lot of people tend to do.

If the problem the person is asking for help with is exacerbated by something else in the room that they aren't asking about, I wouldn't hesitate to mention it. It isn't about whether I like it or not, though I'm sure I don't mention it as nicely if I don't like it as if I do!

I figure my "job" on a forum is to come up with something the OP wouldn't come up with on their own - at least, when I post questions, that's how I feel. That means sometimes mentioning things that they don't think of looking at critically, and also mentioning things that I don't like.

Sometimes posing a question can help indicate how best to proceed, or whether to walk/click away.

And by the way, I don't mind not being acknowledged specifically when I respond to a thread, as long as the OP is back occasionally so I know it wasn't a drive-by (we get those a lot on LD; ask a question and then never appear again).

KarinL

If someone asks for advice I will give it but if they are just posting their finished room and I don't care for it, I don't say anything. People have different tastes and that's okay.

I am definitely a serial lurker & read tons of posts but almost never respond simply because I don't feel that I have the expertise to add to the discussion. Or sometimes, I want to comment just to say how nice something looks but 25 other people have already said the same thing.

In my opinion though, people on this board are very kind and generous in their responses. I feel like I have learned so much just by reading and just keep storing it up for future use.

This reminds me of a post I saw on RMS a couple of years ago. The OP posted her kitchen, seeking advice on an extremely low-budget facelift. Kitchen had good bones, but was extremely dark and dreary. She vehemently stated at the very beginning that there was no money to replace the dark, ugly cabinets and that her husband REFUSED to let her paint. We've all heard that before, but you could just pick up the vibes that he MEANT it. I felt sorry for the poster. She mentioned something like a $200 budget.

Typically, in a situation like this, a helpful advisor would suggest a nice colored paint, remove stuff from counters, maybe cute inexpensive curtains, yada, yada yada. We have a lot of folks on this board that can do a lot with $200! You guys are good.

Well, they ate her alive! Some of the ugliest comments I have ever hear like: cabinets HAVE to go; no hope for the kitchen if you don't install new windows, replace cabinets. On and on and on. It was cruel.

So, even though folks on here do give unsolicited advice occasionally, I have never seen anyone on here that insensitive.

Tuesday

After watching the finale of The Bachelor last night, I got to thinking, hopefully none of the ladies who have ever participated on one of these shows has ever tried to commit suicide over not winning. I guess it goes without saying you have to know what you're getting into! It's the same on forums, but emotions are still being tested. I know when I was younger and things bothered me more(yes, there is hope!)there were a couple of times when I dwelled on something to the point it made me almost physically sick. I was definitely more emotional than I am now, and it takes a lot to break me down~acquired self confidence thru the years. Anyway, we don't know the emotional fagility or sensitivity level of the person who posted the thread.

IMO, I think we all need to take a step back, re-read our post, and make the assessment that the words are not offensive, or written in a matter where they can be misconstrued as hurtful. Thank you for reading. ;o)

I am new here, but do post on threads when I think I won't offend and have something positive to say. I think you can give feedback on something you don't like in a kind way. Bottom line, ya just can't take things personally on message boards and if you have an issue with a certain post, it can sometimes help to drop the person a note.

There are some things I can't post on because I can't identify with it and don't think I will be helpful. I am not a professional, but have a decorating passion and try to share ideas from a "if it were me" viewpoint.

It is sad to see examples of how some folks have been on the other side of an unkind reception, there is no advantage in that kind of behavior. All in all, I have found this board to be helpful and friendly.

Generally speaking, if I just don't care for the style or the furniture or the wall color that they want to use, then, I pass on commenting. I think that's fair. And actually, I think it's much more fair for me to pass rather than to type out some of my negative comments. For example, if Miss Priss posts a picture of her bedroom with lots of purple wall splotches, white bear skin rug, and bean bag chairs, there is nothing that I will think of that will help her. She wants the right purple and I don't love purple. Now, if palimpset loves the bear and likes purples, then, she is well-suited to helping Priss choose between the swatches. Palimpset can visualize how the finished product may look. Palimpset "gets" what Priss is trying to achieve. It's kind of like a very conservative person who goes to work in suits and sensible shoes trying to help a Goth Girl choose a black lipstick. If Miss Middle-of-the-Road thinks black lips look horrible and that Miss Goth's pink streak in the middle of her hair is ridiculous, that will show in her post. Better to have Madame Cutting-Edge pick a shade for GG. At least Madame can appreciate a little creativity.

I only comment on a handful of posts on any given day. Somedays, like today, for example, I read several very interesting threads while we were dead at work. I didn't type a reply to anything, even though I had curtain ideas, paint color suggestions, and furniture thoughts. I was not about to send my ideas out there for my employers computer monitors to read. Sometimes I may comment on something that does not truly interest me because I sense that the poster really needs someone to get the ball rolling. Or because I think the room is kind of nice, even when I don't really have that 'eye' for what it needs. And I never have enough time to read all the threads that look intriguing. Wish I did!

Red

I agree with Patty:
I post if I *think* I can offer something useful, sometimes I agree and sometime not, but nothing I post is meant to intentionally hurt anyone.

And lukkiirish:
But seriously, haven't you ever read a post that made you think, oh! let me see what I can find to help and you spend time researching or fixing pictures to help give a visual, you post the results whatever they may be. You anxiously wait to see if it helped....then the poster will thank someone who just responded and ignores what you've written entirely or worse yet, they never show back up to respond at all...

Or your efforts are down right unappreciated by verbiage... Yep!

I really try to preface everything I comment with "If it were me..."

If it's a room that's not in line with my personal tastes, then it can feel like I have to work harder at crafting a suitable response. It's just easier to pound out some ideas if there's something in the space that I can relate to or understand.

I started lurking on these forums about 3 years ago. At the time I was looking for kitchen ideas for a low cost facelift.

I have perfectly good, solid oak 1984 cabinets and am one who cannot justify getting rid of something that is perfectly good. I knew better than to post pictures since i would be told to a.) paint or b.) get new. Neither was an option to my liking. Will I eventually paint them? Probably, but not until it is my last resort since I consider painted wood the final act. I like stained wood for the most part.

For $1000 I ripped out the flooring and installed hardwood, PAINTED my formica countertops when I could not decide what I wanted, painted the walls, glazed the cabinets to enrich the cherry stain, and put up a copper backsplash, and bought a MASSIVE clock for the one full wall.

Three years later even the painted countertops look good and I get very nice compliments on the kitchen.

But again, I knew better than to post pictures because I would have been ripped apart by many even if I stated what my intentions were, others would think their opinions were better than my needs.

I rarely comment on pictures posted since I am not good at this. But LOVE to read your thoughts.

This is an interesting post -especially because of the introvert/extrovert post at the same time. I find that sometimes when I come to GW, I'm in a bit of an introverted mood, and just perusing rather than posting. Other times, I'm a bit hyper and feel like I reply to everything to the extent that in the back of my mind I hear a little voice yelling, "Alright already! People are tired of you weighing in on everything! Walk away from the keyboard..." Sometimes I just think too much....

I just assume if I don't care for a room there are plenty of forum members who do. So let them do the advising. The original poster will get more useful advice that way, or at least advice that better meshes with her tastes.

re ignored advice: My tastes certainly aren't the end all and be all of interior decorating, nor do I feel upset if the poster just plain doesn't like my suggestions. You have to learn to deal gracefully with rejection in the work world. Same thing here.

Last year I asked for help with my (still unfinished) LR. I got lots of fun suggestions, but many were not applicable. The problem is that there are so many things a photo doesn't show: placement of electrical outlets, AC & heating vents, true room depth & dimensions, and how the room relates to the house in general. So posters will suggest furniture arrangement, say, that doesn't jive with lamp placement (assuming you don't want to run long extension cords across the room) or leaving vents unblocked. Or they'll suggest things that work in the small vignette but are out of place in the Grand Scheme. They'll suggest something you've lived with for 20 years & are trying to get away from, or they'll suggest a perfect item that doesn't exist. (I'm still looking for a Hudson River School painting for $50 in thrift shops, LOL!) But how are the responders to know these things? They're working with a mere snippet of information, really. It would be wrong to be frustrated with them. The people here do mean well & are having fun playing virtual decorator whether the advice works or not.

I'm with IngridVC

"If I see a room that I absolutely can't relate to and wouldn't even know where to start, or dislike it so much that I want to tell them to get rid of everything and start anew, then I definitely don't comment at all. "

If I can't make a useful comment, other that "Love it!" (and those threads are just dull), I don't bother.

"Burn the place to the ground and move away from the ashes" isn't going to help.

and sometimes people ask for help when they really want validation. Not to hijack the thread, but I like these more philosophical questions, rather than endless posts asking what BM white for trim.

I do too ideefixe. I am still perplexed why people can't see why their choices for their rooms are so far off. It seems simple to me to copy a magazine or catalog picture.
And I'm not talking about style; the style choices are endless but rooms can still be functional, cohesive, attractive, proportional and comfortable within a style parameter.
Is it that hard to hide a mess of cords, not hang a picture too high and fill spaces correctly?

I just have to respond here and tell you how much I was helped when I asked for help a few months ago. I was nervous about posting pictures because the things I like are not generally considered good decorating anymore.

Everyone helped me so much to consolidate my blue collections and my owl collections. I ended up removing the owls and carrying the blue onto both sides of the room. That little thing alone make a world of difference to how my room worked. There were many other suggestions that helped me so much, like the placement of pictures and etc.

I really felt like I had my own personal decorators. I hoped that I thanked everyone that helped me. I did so appreciate it.

dody

I think people are misunderstanding the point of my post here so I'm going to be Blunt (no offense) because rejection is SO not what I was talking about. There's a BIG difference between a suggestion being rejected and your suggestion not even being acknowledged. The rejection of an idea really is something that should be expected a good 99% of the time. I especially expect this in my case because 1. I'm not afraid of color at all and 2. I tend to think way outside of the box. My irritation comes from a pure LACK OF MANNERS...if someone takes the time to write out a suggestion, provide photos, do research on your behalf, the least you can do is say thank you. It can be a general "hey all, thanks for the ideas" or pointed to each person; I DON'T CARE but where I come from that's expected and I believe rightfully so. That thank you is not only good manners but it lets the poster(s) know your response was read. That's my pet peeve.

I am still perplexed why people can't see why their choices for their rooms are so far off. It seems simple to me to copy a magazine or catalog picture. . . . Is it that hard to hide a mess of cords, not hang a picture too high and fill spaces correctly?

That's a whole other conversation - and an interesting one. Not everyone has the instincts/training/interest to know these things. But what I can't understand is why they don't see it after they have expressed the interest and the problem issue is pointed out and explained to them.

I have gotten headaches trying to explain to family members and co-workers why coffee tables and sofa tables don't translate well into end tables.

That's so funny graywings! Yes, sofa tables make poor end tables.

Ya'll are giving the kitchen forum a bad rap (or is that wrap?) Anyhoo, there are plenty of white appliances there LOL And most kitchens aren't wildly pricy. It's a wonderful place to get ideas and inspiration!

Ok now here...I actually enjoy all kinds of decor. I remark when I think I might add something of value, or if an opinion is asked (ie do you like corian LOL) but I do hate it when the person asking about the corian was only looking for people who love it and then comes back to rip you a new one for saying you hate it. Don't ask if you don't want the answer...instead say "I'm thinking of x corian or y corian, which would look better" a question I wouldn't answer with "I hate corian" but instead would say I like the contrast of Y or have you seen Z?

I hate the drive by postings...they post and ask for ideas, and are offered many, then never return. I still wonder if that gal's house burnt down because of the table refinished in gasoline :oP

I sometimes do suggest something that isn't asked for. I'm thinking of one post where a gal asked what to do to her mantle because it never looked right. It was on a corner wall with a wood stove in front and a river rock wall with mantle and trim in a bright white. She said she'd never been able to arrange it right and I suggested that perhaps it wasn't the arrangement, but the mantle instead that was the problem. It desperately needed a paint color other than white and a finished bit of trim on the floor. Someone even mocked that up to show her how wonderful it would look that way...and she never returned.

I do try to say thank you, but often group my response unless something specific stands out in the posts (ie sweeby does a photo shop or something labor intensive). You have to give that gal some respect. She works at making a wonderful picture and so many times the original poster never thanks her, or never returns at all. I used to use a kitchen design program to do kitchen mock ups for people...which is a great deal of work, so they could see their idea in 3d and to show changes I or others suggested. I would say 70% never said thank you, or came back to say "I like my first unfunctional (ok I added that word) idea better so there". To which I always mentally say...why the heck did you ask if your DW was too close to your sink if you didn't want to know????

If I see a hot mess that I just can't figure out a way to say anything...I do avoid it. But I do look because like a good car wreck, it's a rubber necking experience. I just try not to say "e gads were you on crack when you decorated?"

Personally I like it when someone says "Have you thought about this?" when I might have asked about "that" instead of "this". I actually may have thought of "this" verses "that" but didn't like the idea for one reason or another, but often I actually was so focused on "that" that I didn't even think of "this" and so I appreciate the idea that maybe "this" might need a tweeking...and I just didn't think of it.

I'd respond more now but I have to go dust my doilies :oP (but I don't have any dolls or bunnies ok?) heh heh

I did forget one huge pet peeve...and will be flamed for this but since we're on the subject.

I have many times posted something and had a poster come back with a personal remark about their perception of me verses responding to the question. Rude rude rude and very mean personal comments. I remember many but one good example was when I asked about doing an antiquing trip in Europe or the UK to purchase a large amount of furniture for a house we were thinking about buying. I was asking if anyone had done this and could recommend tours or dealers they'd visited.

The responses I got back were in general comments on how tacky the house would look if I purchased all of the furniture at once. That it was rude to even ask about such a thing because it would make other posters feel bad they couldn't do it. That I should shop in the USA, and my favorite telling me what a bad mother I would be to leave my son for the trip (mind you leave him with his father who dotes on the child and is fully able to care for him).

Really hurtful stuff, and that's not the only time. Sometimes biting your tongue is not a bad thing to do even if you dislike or apparently hate the poster asking the question. I'd personally rather you just scrolled on by verses telling me I'm a horrible mom :o( That's just mean for no reason but enjoying being mean.

luk,

I think it's because people don't always read every post in the thread. Heck, sometimes I wonder if people even read their own response before hitting submit! lol!

I do know what you mean about manners and acknowledgement for taking the time to write a thoughtful and helpful response. In fact I know a couple people who do not post here any more because of the very thing you're talking about -- if OPs don't even bother to post back and just say 'thanks for responding' then why should they spend any time at all writing responses or participating.

I've never really cared if an OP posts back with acknowledgement or a thanks. As time has gone by I've realized that even if the response crafted for OP didn't help the them, someone else *out there* who is searching for information or help on a similar topic later on down the road may find value in what you had to offer.

Every contribution here counts and everyone has a unique voice to add -- personally I think every word that's offered here is of use and value whether someone comes out and directly says so or not, whether it's immediate or later on. On the paint forum, posts that are two and three years old will resurface from time to time!!!

Altho, luk, I do understand what you're saying and it is nice when someone posts back with acknowledgement and/or a simple 'thanks'.

...and my favorite telling me what a bad mother I would be to leave my son for the trip

That would be from someone famous for posting hits and runs.

I don't open half the threads here. If I open something and have no immediate opinion or anything to offer I close it and move on.

I usually don't respond if I feel like I can't add to the conversation. Plus, I just don't have the same editing eye some of you do.

lukkiirish:
I'm with you. I notice it because I seem to be a great killer of threads and seldom am acknowledged, even when the OP mentions/thanks a list of others (or in one case, EVERYONE else). I remember one particular thread where I spent a great deal of time trying to find the fabric the OP was looking for. While I didn't find it, I found one fairly close. The OP never came back to acknowldge anyone's contribution to their thread. I now just pass on their threads. OTH, if I post after the OP has thanked everyone, I don't expect them to come back to just thank me. I also don't expect my suggestions to be taken. I view it as brainstorming. And, Igloo, I would expect to see doilies in a Victorian; I really didn't mean to offend.
Dee

Dee, I think we all feel like thread killers from time to time.

One interesting tangential thing that comes up for me is the perennial question around here about whether we're cliquish or not. Sometimes new posters do not get the number of answers they may wish for. There are a variety of reasons, one being that the questions are often vague. However, unless a subject is near and dear to my heart, I often will not bother to think about the situation and formulate a reply for someone I don't "know" because they may never bother to come back to continue the conversation, much less say thank you, which I agree is just common courtesy.

I always have this feeling that Les (love ya, Les) sees things and knows just what to suggest in about 12 seconds. For me, and probably most of the rest of us, giving advice often requires time, some thought, proof-reading, looking elsewhere on the net, etc. That's why this darn place is such a time suck!

Well haliluya! I don't feel so weird now for having the expectation of an acknowledgment! HA!

Funcolors, point well taken about other posters still getting something from the post too, that is a side benefit to the process.

Dee your not a thread killer, no worries.

"For me, and probably most of the rest of us, giving advice often requires time, some thought, proof-reading, looking elsewhere on the net, etc. That's why this darn place is such a time suck!"

My point exactly, not to harp but....

Igloo - I can't believe someone actually had the nerve to say that to you...nervy, very nervy...

I have many times posted something and had a poster come back with a personal remark about their perception of me verses responding to the question.

Gosh, I have no clue what that's like. lol! :~D

When people go off on personal attacks around here, whether it's *at* me or other people I just remember that the faults or shortcomings that these people are pointing out in others are likely a reflection of their own faults and issues.

It's not constructive criticism. It's harsh and toxic. Harsh criticism and mean words lobbed at someone are a reflection of the person who's launching the attack. It's a window into what it is the attacker themselves feel are their own shortcomings and faults -- criticizing others in such an attacking manner is about insecurity and lack of self-esteem.

The attacker needs to push someone else down in order to lift their own pathetically insecure self up. I've found that these types of people realllly do not like confident, outspoken, articulate people around them.

Having opinions and being able to articulate them, igloo, makes you a target. So the person who said you're a bad mom might have been having a bad mom moment themselves....

just sayin'

Re: the comment about not being able to just copy from a magazine and not being able to see an obvious thing like a clump of wires or some other mess.

Some people visually edit heavily, and some people do "see" things easily from the get go. You edit what you get used to seeing every day.

I don't know how many people have looked at a picture I just took with the digital camera in the *room *we *are *standing *in, and say they OMG, look at that! or what is that?

I have a client who actually has very good taste who didn't understand in the drawings why I made the upper kitchen cabinets shallower than the base cabinets. She said "Are the ones I have now like that?" No clue. I suppose deep down somewhere she knew it was so, but it was not obvious to her. She once pointed out a very elaborate wall sconce and said "I want something simple, like this". I had to point out to her that the whole mess going on on the wall behind it was part of the sconce, not just the arm with the light on it. If I hadn't been there, she may have ordered it and then been shocked by its actual appearance in a box.

I think that I have a pretty good eye, and there are things I ignore in my own house all the time, for convenience sake. Now, if I am going to post a picture, I look at it carefully, but even then if its something you are used to seeing...only someone else may see the obvious

Dee darling I was completely kidding about the doilies. It's a little personal giggle I have about myself because a few months ago when we first moved in to the victorian I was horrified at the number of doilies all over the house...and the piles and piles of them in the linen closet.

LOL So a month or two ago I started likeing them....shoot me, honestly I'm not a doiley person heh heh But I'm starting to find joy in the horrible little things LOL So really :) I was teasing....I thought your comment was funny and enjoyable.

By the way...my actual screen name is IglooThreadKillerChic so don't feel too bad. And I've been on here forever and often get just a couple of people who will respond to my threads too. Sometimes it's because it's me I'm sure, and I"m ok with that because the folks who do respond bring value verses telling me I'm a putz :) And sometimes it's just a busy thread day!

Thanks, Igloo. It's funny how many of us feel the same; I guess I get too wrapped up in my own little feelings. We just all want to be "heard".
Dee

Oh, shoot me now, but I don't find anything horrible about Doilies. On the contrary, I have a stash in my closet waiting patiently for a spot. My grandmother made a lot of our doilies when I was a kid. She knew how to do a lot of needle work inclduing french crochet, which is a whole other topic LOL. Anyways, she taught my mother how to crochet right handed and she taught me how to crochet left handed. She was amazing and I love displaying her treasures. I plan on framing some for a wall collage too.

" do try to say thank you, but often group my response unless something specific stands out in the posts (ie sweeby does a photo shop or something labor intensive). You have to give that gal some respect. She works at making a wonderful picture and so many times the original poster never thanks her, or never returns at all. "

Me Photo-Shopping?! Believe me, I've tried it a few times and nobody should be expected to thank me for that kind of butchery! ;-) I think you mean Squirrelheaven --

Interesting thread. I think I'll be like the 67th post here, or so, and I have enjoyed learning about everyone's perspectives.

I just want to say that I LOVE this forum and have found this place to be overwhelmingly friendly, informative and fun. I have made mistakes with posting etiquette, I'm sure, but my intentions are always good. I would never purposefully say anything hurtful.

This great forum is a medium for communication, and like any other social setting, different personalities are participating.

Most posts are extremely positive and made with good intentions. And, I'm sure some are not. Bad manners and bad judgment are undesirable but ever-present in any mode, unfortunately. Perhaps a short introduction to posting etiquette would be in order for anyone joining a forum. Yet, even with "instructions", there will always be rude comments and unwelcome advice.

Despite our imperfection, I love this place. It's one of the best ever sites I've visited (and continue to visit every day). Let's embrace the diversity of decorating styles and preferences here, while being mindful of the value of others' ideas and opinions.

Recently, a person I have never personally met from this board who lives hundreds of miles away, was kind enough to check on a piece of furniture at an outlet that is unavailable online or anywhere in my area. Thanks to her, I have managed to secure a shipping company to get the order purchased, packed and shipped. That's the spirit of this great forum! Thank you Garden Web!

My irritation comes from a pure LACK OF MANNERS...if someone takes the time to write out a suggestion, provide photos, do research on your behalf, the least you can do is say thank you. It can be a general "hey all, thanks for the ideas" or pointed to each person; I DON'T CARE but where I come from that's expected and I believe rightfully so. That thank you is not only good manners but it lets the poster(s) know your response was read. That's my pet peeve.

I agree with you. I have often spent too much time replying to a question because I had had a similar experience or felt that I could actually offer some constructive words. There have been many times when the OP never even bothers to respond or say thank you to anyone on the thread they've started. I think that's rude.

I understand that you can't always respond to every single person. It's especially hard when you get multiple people making the same exact suggestion. Do you acknowledge each of the 15 people saying to get rid of the door that doesn't fit the style of your house? Or will a blanket "thank you" to everyone at the very least, suffice?

I would like to think the latter because, lol, I still have not been able to get to a thread I posted last week & thank each person individually. But I've gone back & read it a few times and read the links they generously offered and looked at the photos of their own homes that they've shared. I've delivered a blanket thank you a couple of times but I do feel a bit guilty that I haven't acknowledged each person.

The internet is unfortunately a place where people feel they can leave their manners elsewhere because it is largely anonymous. I tend to think that a simple "thank you" is better than silence.

I decided a long time ago that I would rather be liked than be right. I still have to remind myself of this sometimes!
But Deeinohio says what I think works well:

From my social work training, I always try to start "where the client is"

I have been in my new home for a little over 3 years, so slowly but surely trying to get all my rooms decorated. I know what I like and want and have that annoying budget crunch that keeps me in reality. I have an extra bungalow attached to my home, it has a full sized bedroom, full bath and closet. I had it painted a spring green when I moved in...have a day bed and couch and chairs in there and it is a great guest room. I have posters and stuff I want to eventually put in there. My best friend escapes from her family at least once a month and stays the weekend and we play cards or I host a party. So she jokes that the bungalow is hers. She has a key and knows she can come out anytime she wants.

So...one time we were all over at a friends New Year's Eve party and drinking some champagne. We spent the night there cause we didn't want to drive. My friend got totally blitzed and we were all joking and laughing, when she said (referring to me)...Marlene won't let me decorate my bungalow. We all looked at her in shock...and she said...yeah I think I should be able to decorate my bungalow. So I said...well how would you want to decorate it....she said...IN ELVIS!!!! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I could just imagine some cheesy velvet paintings on the wall.

Moral of the story...beauty is in the eye of the decorator...LOL.

LOL Poor squirrel...I try to give her credit and don't end up giving her credit. LOL Sorry!!! Umm but Sweeby...give it a try LOL (I can't master the danged program either heh heh)