I'm thinking maybe you have the "grass is greener on the other side" disease. If you REALLY had to stay home and make your own cleaning product and then wash the windows I'm wondering if you'd long to dress in some snappy professional clothes, get your nails done, meet for a business lunch, etc. Maybe not...lol. Most of the time I believe I have the best of both worlds. I work in a large corporate office where I've had a wonderful PART-TIME job for 13 years. I work about 6 hours a day 4 days a week and have one weekday plus weekends off. It was great when the kids were growing up and now that they're grown it does allow me the time I want to spend being domestic, yet I have the opportunity to keep my skills up and catch a glimpse of the faster pace. I can run by that home decor or furniture store on the way home and still have dinner started by the time DH arrives. I think maybe I'm spoiled. But I do know what you mean, it might be fun to wear an apron like June Cleaver but then I think I'd want a Hazel to come help me!

Yes, I feel the same way. I love being home to cook, sew, decorate, fix things, etc. It is my sanctuary. As a teenager, I never thought that I would be such a homebody. I was very career minded until I had kids, when I learned to bake, cook, and started sewing for my home. I think about what I will do when I get home while I am at work and usually have a project planned. I try to be flexible however, because life sometimes interfers with my plans. So it isn't just about Spring for me, although that starts me thinking wistfully about gardening...
Diane

I feel the exact same way. I love my job and love working, but boy oh boy. I have a stack of sewing to get to!

I felt the same way for a few yrs. & then 8 months ago up & quit my FT job & just hung on to the PT job I'd already had in addition to my FT job. I found that I was preferring to stay home & clean, wash windows, tend my garden, have dinner ready when DH got home from work, design furniture w/ my dad, concentrate on decorative painting once again and most importantly be w/ my boys & DH more. In reality I was working 2-3 nights per wk. leaving for work at around 12PM to work and closing the store & then working another 7 hr. shift opening the store. I enjoyed it but found myself exhausted on the wknds. & too tired to barely lift a finger on my days off!

Luckily I've found a new PT job back in the medical field again 3 mornings per wk. & I'm home by 1:30PM on those days. I just finished mopping my kitchen floor & am looking at my windows anticipating washing my windows.

The arrival of Spring has me tingley w/ anticipation!

I haven't learned to sew yet & I haven't gotten 1 piece of furniture made yet, however I did finish 1 painting.

The money situation is always tight but always worth it.

And Auntjen, I relish wearing my old-fashioned aprons! My mom buys them for me at flea markets & antique stands. I ALWAYS smile big when I wipe my hands off on them when I'm putzing around the house!

Auntjen,

I certainly understand what you are feeling. I work at home but due to my many other responsibilites I cannot focus on making a home. In fact, right now it seems I am so busy that I cannot do anything well. My goal for the future is to cut down my workload to 24 hours a week so that there is some time to make a home. Hang in there.

Auntjen -- I know EXACTLY what you mean. I work full time. REALLY full time, long hours, etc. DH stays home with the kids. But I'm the homebody. I love to decorate, bake, cook, do art projects with the kids, play in the yard with them, refinish furniture, dig around yard sales for things to fix and use around the house, etc. DH loves to go out. Unfortunately, my job paid so much more than his, when we needed someone home with the kids, I lost the coin toss.

It s the season of change, so I think it must be hormonal. I have it too, if only the desie to be outside and the temperature not be below zero. Hey, it was 46 today! woo Hoo! now maybe the snow will melt!

I work outside the home full time.I'm not a home body but I find it does all get done in the end.

Lovely day here -- so this may be spring fever!

Both homebodies here too! :)

Jan

aunjen, I could have written your post (except my DH works long hours too).

I have the same dreams; "those chores that ordinarily I would dread now seem somehow appealing to me. This may sound quite strange, but I have a longing for a sort of old-fashioned cottage existence, one in which I wear a vintage apron while washing my windows to better appreciate the sunlight that's beginning to spill in, where I'm enjoying a fresh, natural citrus scent while making my own cleaning products, busying myself baking bread -- just basically savoring the goodness and wholesomeness that home is meant to be."

It has nothing to do with spring fever for me. But, it's off to work I go.......

I grew up in a home like that, mother baking with her apron on, house spotless, meals cooked and on the table at 12 and 6. I try to be the same way. But, I work fulltime too. I place a lot of pressure on myself to do both and I get overwhelmed. Why can't I do it? Then I take a break and have to remember, mother didn't work outside the home. DUH! You can eat off her floors....but you'd better mop mine first. I love being a Suzy Homemaker, but darnit I love to shop too. So it's off to work I go....

I worked before I got married. I worked to help my husband through college. I worked to help get us our first home. I worked to get us bigger homes and the things we thought we needed. The whole time, I was a "closet domestic." At that time, it wasn't cool to be home doing the things some of us love to do at home. It wasn't cool to not pursue a career. I climbed the management ladder, the whole time wishing I could be home. It's awfully hard to do both unless you set aside time (big blocks of time). Not just a weekend. Use some of your vacation (seriously, I did). Spend it at home doing the things you love to do (give your husband a break). You might find that that little bit of time is all you need for a while. When you get back to work you'll throw yourself into it.
I also spent as much time as I could on week ends and days off, painting, papering, sewing, organizing, entertaining, cooking and gardening.
When I got the opportunity to quit working -- I cherished my time at home (still do). I found a part time job in a domestic-related field that interests me. It got me out of the house; brought in a little extra money and more importantly, it kept me close to my home, garden, dogs, kitchen, sewing room, etc.
You can have both if you stay focused. In my opinion, we are successful only if we can balance work and home/family without compromise to either.
Good luck to you.

Auntjen I know what you mean. My DH and I both work in NYC - long hours for us both and we have 2 kids.

When the weekends come around, there's so much I would love to do but I'm almost physically exhausted. Between, work, kids and taking care of the home, I find very little time for myself. Sometimes I wish I could work Part time (or even locally) but the field I am in is so specialized that I don't really have a choice.
Balancing is hard right now but I cherish my weekends, my vacations and my free time so much more! I do have to say that I do enjoy being home so much more so all those things that used to be chores have become enjoyable.

Yeah, I know I've got it bad when I work outside the home all week with a couple of night meetings making some days 12+ hours and on weekends it is ?? fun?? just to putter around and clean the house! I should take out my vintage apron and put on my pearls and pretend to be June Cleaver!!I am so totally with you ladies! Sue

Oh I think we live parallel lives! Do you have kids at home? My nest is empty (except for our critterkids) and I'm the one with the FT job. DH is home (semi-retired) and he tends to the house...in that mans way. He clears the dining table, but doesn't put on a new table cloth. Scrubs the bathroom but doesn't put out fresh hand towels.

I sometimes get that feeling...like I just want to put on my apron and cook fabulous meals and then go cut some flowers to put in the living room and then sew up a quilt.

What I ended up doing is just typed myself up a bunch of to-do lists. I mean, mundane to do lists...like reminding myself to put the switch plate back on the socket in the hall, and to dust the shelf in the office. Then when I come home from work, I try to tackle one of those stupid little things while dinner is cooking. I found that that freed my psyche and then gave me time to indulge in my inner June Cleaver a bit.

I did take a weeks vacation and spent it at home, doing my JC things and I couldn't wait to get back to work by midweek. The fantasy just wasn't working for me in real life. Part of it was having DH at home with me (haha), but really, I grew bored of it fast. I love my job, so that might be why I'm not feeling the need to be a homemaker so much anymore. It was really bad when my kids were still at home (and I didn't love the job I had...there is just no time to do it all when they're young. But now, I get to do the 'grown up' things I didn't get to do, so I'm not missing JC as much, I think.

Jen, I think your soul is responding to the natural order of life. Spring is a time for renewal and rejuvenation.

I have a very high-pressure career and work 10+ hour days. My husband is retired and putters about. He keeps the house clean and the laundry done and the cars running. But certainly finds no joy in it.

It wasn't always like this--I was a stay at home mom for years and DH did the management/long hour thing. During those years I raised two great sons, landscaped and decorated every square inch of our home and property.

To keep myself sane and satisfy my yearning to be home, I take a week off every May. I open all the windows, tear my house apart and scrub, organize, toss, rearrange, reevaluate and enjoy being at home. It refreshes my soul.

I do the same in October to put the gardens to sleep for the winter.

I need this time in my home to reconnect.

I'm sitting here in my office with tears in my eyes after reading this thread. Oh, how I wish I could be home more often! My husband and I have taken on a LOT in the last few years (2 kids in 2 years and a whole-home renovation) and things would be infinitely easier if I didn't have to work. The ironic thing is, I'm not even the main bread winner, but DH's job (firefighter) allows him to be home with the kids throughout the week. Unfortunately, we are in the Boston suburbs and NEED my income to stay afloat. It's pretty disheartening that couples making under 100K can't afford homes here. When I think about how things USED to be, how couples could get by on one income, it really bothers me. Not only do I miss out on doing the domestic thing, which I truly love, I miss out on time with my kids too. I just saw my son go skating for the first time via webshots :( Well, I guess that's enough complaining. Right now, my plan is to work hard at finding a part-time or at-home job. So, hopefully that will happen!

The good old days are a myth, a retrospective look via rose colored glasses. Ask your parents if their lives were all hunky dorry.

I KNOW my parents lives weren't hunky dorry. But my mother staying home with the kids was an option - and that's what she did. I was lucky to have her there.

Reading this post yesterday made me sad, because I also miss having that time with my grandma and mom to bond through sewing together. My career and DH's career has prompted moves that make that impossible now, except for the few days we manage once a year.

It was nice to see I wasn't alone in these feelings. I do love my job, but my heart is at home still...in another state!

AuntJen -- I have the life you describe. I quit my job as a kitchen designer and started growing flowers for a living. We live in an 1892 Iowa farmhouse -- that is very authentic. In good and bad ways. I bake all our bread, I can 500-600 jars of veggies and fruit from the garden and farmer's markets. I raise fancy rare breed hens for the fresh eggs. I sew, spin yarn, knit all our socks and sweaters and weave baskets. And I collect and wear vintage aprons. My favorite is the 1870 white apron from my great-grandmother's trousseau -- it has crocheted butterflies on the lace.

The downside....... we haven't been on vacation for years. The newest car we have is a 1999. We don't have central air or total-house heat. And we are in Iowa. We have one bath .... that still is in a state of remodel and its been so for almost 2 years.

I love my life... I would never give it up. But my hands desperately need a manicure that will never happen. My hand-spun hand-knit sweaters are worn with jeans from Goodwill. There are trade-offs. I would love to travel --- can't be away from the flower farm during the summer and the livestock during the winter. And we have to think about a "fancy" meal out -- where our friends can drop $200 for meal -- that is a challenge (and a change of dining plans!) for us.

cathy

I think that women were designed to enjoy all the things you are longing for........taking care of the home, making it pretty and comfortable and clean. Many of us enjoy cooking and baking and sewing nice things for our families and homes. Men can do all the things we can do (in this regard) but I doubt they take as much pleasure in it. If I walk into my house and the drapes are pulled back an inch too much, I notice. My DH once showed our home to potential buyers and didn't even notice my bra hanging out of the dresser drawer where my daughter had hastily put away laundry!
But a man will notice when a car tire is a little low or when a rain-gutter is hanging askew. I won't.

I think we were made to want to take care of things. Unfortunately, we have to take care of things in a more financial way these days just to live. It's a real disappointment. I'm fortunate than I only work 4 days. I do get my Fridays to play in my house a bit. It calms me and makes up for so many stresses everywhere else. If you can go more part time, do it. The payoffs are immense.

Red

I work at home, so I'm constantly reminded/tempted/nagged by household tasks--the fun ones, the dreary ones and the icky ones. Conversely, I feel like I never leave the "office".

But, I will take a break and go fiddle with the bookshelves or swap out the pictures/china/doo-dads. It's fun, and I love to re-arrange.

Thank you all so very much for your thoughtful, moving responses. Wow - I'm overwhelmed to know that so many of you feel similarly, and also wowed that there at least a couple of you whose lifestyles are like mine - with your hubbies staying at home while you go out there and bring home the bacon. (It is an unusual lifestyle, and I've found, surprisingly, that even in this day and age of acceptance, many people still raise eyebrows at the choice that my DH and I have made in this regard.)

I think that women just lean naturally more towards that nurturing instinct than men, which is pretty much what Red said. Not that there aren't men who make a home and do it beautifully (I think of my own dad, who adores making homemade soup and knows how to clean house down to the last perfect detail), but more often than not, home-nurturing is a feminine trait. Perhaps it is a combination of seasonal change and hormones and "the grass is greener syndrome" rearing up in me that's causing my feelings.

We don't have kids at home, although 7 indoor cats are demanding and force constant cleaning vigilance around the house. I must admit, I'm thankful that DH is home to deal with the nastier aspects of this, as I have zero desire to wipe up kitty barf or clean up the misplaced "tootsie rolls" that magically appear on the rugs at times. In my past life (when I was married to my ex), I spent 4 years as a full-time homemaker, and I absolutely adored being at home. That was a period in which some of my fondest memories were made, as my mom and I got to enjoy hours of "girl time" together. We shopped, we lunched, we traveled, and on my own I decorated and gardened and cooked and sewed, and did not for one minute miss the outside workplace. After four years circumstances dictated that I go back to work full time, and I've now been at this job for 15 years. Just as I was thankful for my time off work, I'm also thankful for my job. I know it's enabled me to do much and have things and experiences that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to. A very important part of my life nowadays is traveling. DH and I love Mexico, and I honestly am not sure what I'd do if suddenly I were forced to give up our twice-yearly trips down south of the border. This thread has reminded me that there are indeed trade-offs, and I need to be increasingly thankful for what I do have and love and enjoy, instead of pining for what I don't have.

I feel I'm rambling now. Just wanted to thank everyone for the wonderful input. There's so much to ponder here.

You never would have heard me admit that I was more domestic than my DH before we had kids. But now -- totally different story. I am so sad when I come home to a home movie of my children doing things I missed.

I think that women were designed to enjoy all the things you are longing for

I guess I was just designed wrong. :/

Not at all, Lisa. I think it's generally a true statement, but certainly not compulsory! We're all unique individuals, of course. I hope nobody takes offense in the generalities expressed here. I'm sure none is intended!
:-)