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claire_de_luna

You Know You're Remodeling When.... - A Classic

14 years ago

Just so you know the more things change, the more they stay the same, I found this ''classic'' which I thought you'd enjoy. Please, feel free to add to it!

You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by elsieCat (My Page) on Tue, Jul 27, 04 at 23:51


you can't find a knife to open the package of tortellini so you grab a piece of baseboard you pulled off the wall last night and rip the package open with a nail...


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Follow-Up Postings:

RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: weed30 (My Page) on Tue, Jul 27, 04 at 23:51

LOL!!!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Sharon_G_in_MA (My Page) on Tue, Jul 27, 04 at 23:52

Weed ya beat me to it!!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Monicakm (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 0:00

ROFLOL!!! Good one EC :)


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: seekingadvice (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 0:13

Ha ha!!

You know you're remodeling when you're surprised when someone actually knocks - on the front door, no less.

...you know the cell numbers of your contractor and the head of the construction crew and have them programmed in your phone.

...you actually buy Tuna Helper at the store. On purpose.

You know you're months into the project when people stop asking how the remodel is coming along and you stop wanting to talk about it.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: house_vixen (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 0:29

...you're not even phased by having a piece of drywall in your hallway for months, because you've been remodeling your kitchen off and on for two years

...you can price reno-related items at a glance

...you've given up and just accepted that it will all be done "someday"


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Jodie_B (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 0:30

Or conversely, people have stopped asking about the building project and you obsess about it, driving friends and loved ones crazy! That is what makes this forum so special - it's a safe place to obsess with others who understand!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: happygram (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 0:57

...when the phone is ringing, but you have no idea where it is

...when you have the phone number of the GC right under the poison control phone number

...when you begin to think of cartons as cabinets

...when the dumpster in your driveway feels like it belongs there


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Danni_in_PDX (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 2:54

...the kids are eating icepops on the "good" wool rugs and you don't care

...you look forward to $1 Happy Meal Night at McDonald's

...the cats eat better than you do

...you start writing your cell number on the walls in BIG numbers so no one makes a decision without you


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: redredwine (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 3:46

...you have to go out on the front porch to heat the leftover Chinese food in the microwave--while waving to your neighbors.

...you look up in the bathroom mirror in the morning & the workers are in the reflection of the window behind you.

...you wash the dishes on the front lawn--while waving to your neighbors.

...you start keeping score the amount of times you actually made it tossing garbage from the house to the dumpster (or dump truck).

...you shave your Golden Retriever because you're all cooped up in a small portion of the house.

...you start looking at the fine powdery dust on everything as proof that something got done today.

...you get used to strangers walking through your house.

There are many more, but I'm tired now.

HOW HAVE YOU ALL BEEN? I haven't had much time to check in here, & the computer was out a few times, so I've missed you all. I need to catch up! We're in the thick of it right now, but it's actually been going fine...so far. I'll try to check in tomorrow.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: ponyduck (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 5:44

You're watching a movie, and in the middle of the climactic death struggle in the kitchen, everyone is tense and on the edge of their seats--and you remark "See? That floor tile is on the diagonal and it doesn't look too busy."

--pony


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: momof_boyz (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 8:27

ponyduck: isn't that the truth! LOL


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: littlebitofheaven (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 8:38

You guys are so funny!!

When you refer to the cardboard covered floors as hardboard instead of hardwood, and they actually begin to look okay!

When you jump at seeing someone (or a cat) standing in a doorway that wasn't there before (which I still do).


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Sharon_G_in_MA (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 9:11

Oh ponyduck, you're so funny, I remember watching the shooting in the beginning of The Sixth Sense and paying more attention to that wonderful period bathroom!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Claire_de_Luna (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 9:39

Thanks for making my day begin here!

...your dog doesn't bark anymore when people walk right into your house.

When the big splat of bird doo on the front door takes on the proportions of a subliminal message to all who enter there, and you leave it for that very reason...


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: lowspark (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 10:36

... your old (current) refrigerator acquires an interior leak and you do the happy dance cuz that thing is going in the trash in about a couple of weeks.

... the front part of your house looks like your moving (almost empty!) and the bedrooms are stacked to the ceiling with boxes.

ponyduck, you hit the nail on the head with that one! I end up replaying parts of movies to either show DH some feature in the kitchen -- "hey, did you notice how her cabinets were set up?" or because I missed the dialogue or action cuz I was too busy looking at the room. Listen, what do you think VCRs were invented for, anyway!? :)


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: pebbles396 (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 10:55

Great thread Carolyn!

......you go through catalogs and say, look that's the Kohler Vinnatta it doens't look too big in their kitchen.

.....the dog has paint on her tail

......you start saying....my friend just did 'X' in their kitchen, and someone says, oh where do they live, and you say, well they're on the internet.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: elsieCat (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 10:59

OMG you all! LOLOLOL my remodeling-fellow-sufferers :)

lowspark, I felt that way about the floors just yesterday--I spilled water from the dishwasher as we were moving it *yet again* and just sang out "oh well, they're getting refinished today. who cares :)"

Claire LOL but your house is not related to bird doo in any way, even in its current state...

ponyduck, OH yes...

redredwine, LOL about the workers and was the retriever shaving because of shedding or cabin fever?

Cartons as flooring and cabinets--OH yes. But of course their most important function is as spaceships and covered wagons, everyone knows that, right?

Danni, no more happy meals for you all, though, right?

seeking, you're *so* right about not wanting to talk about it anymore...it's gone past the excitement level and into the 10 months pregnant phase, as Danni mentioned once...

More, more!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: cpovey (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 11:05

...you don't look forward to eating at a restaurant


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Pirula (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 11:06

LOL!! You guys have be laughing so hard, my three year old surely thinks his mommy has lost her mind!

Ivette


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: elsieCat (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 11:07

I should add I'm writing this *kneeling* in our family room in front of the *side* of the desk that's been moved from my office (next to the kitchen), typing mostly blind, with my right hand through my cats legs and occasionally looking over my dear cat's back to correct typos because he's standing on the desk-counter with the keyboard because he *often* stands on this part of the desk when it's in its regular location and darn it it's *still* his place even if it's been moved, typing on the computer that is hooked up with extension cords across the empty eating area because my dear dear husband knows I can't survive without it...my knees are gonna *hurt* when I get up but my cat's very happy for the attention...


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: ArtTeacher_NJ (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 11:44

... you serve a special holiday dinner (Passover) with plastic covering all the walls and drop cloths over all the furniture.

BUT the beautifully set dining room table is set with matching paper plates and cups, plastic serving platters and utensils, AND candles, flowers, and a lovely seder plate!

Pebbles- I am ALWAYS talking about my friends advice from the forum. My husband says I "talk" to my computer friends more than I talk to him.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: TommeCA (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 11:59

. . . you start writing to-do lists and notes to your GC on the back of paper plates because you can no longer locate any of the legal pads in the house. But then, you have to be careful about not using those plates 'cause you need the information on the back! (Make sure you catch the expression on merchants' faces when you pull a paper plate out of your purse with your shopping list on it.)


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: lowspark (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 12:00

OK, this is slightly OT, but since pebbles brought it up, the other day, I was out with some friends and I (of course) started talking about my kitchen. Well I started to sort of describe one of the kitchens in the gallery and was telling them about how it was laid out etc, and one of my friends said, it sounds like you've actually been it it! Funny thing is, I guess I almost have!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Kayjay (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 12:03

when your pet bird is so traumatized by the kitchen disappearing and having his cage wheeled into the living room,

where big men are coming in out moving giant metal boxes on metal ladders and then leaving them behind,

that he hikes into the laundry room which is now the kitchen and sets up house on a laundry basket left in the middle of the floor

and refuses to be moved from this spot, except for dinner, for 3 weeks, meanwhile pooping on the floor behind the laundry basket because where else will he poop?

and you are so distracted you don't even remember to put a piece of newspaper under the laundry basket for the first 2 weeks!

Oh yeah!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: cakie (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 12:18

...you burst into tears at the table when a kind neighbor invites you over for a home-cooked meal after two months of heating up things in the microwave.

Cakie


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: TaZorro (My Page) on Wed, Jul 28, 04 at 12:19

... being rudely awakened by the grating sound of power tools makes you feel GOOD cause something is getting done today!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Karigraphy (My Page) on Thu, Jul 29, 04 at 0:50

Oh my, those are funny! A few more to add:

- When your preschoolers don't bat an eyelash when a group of men just open the side door and walk right in.

- When your dog likes the workers better than you because he sees more of them than of you.

- When you have to Shop Vac the bath tub to give the kids a bath.

- When you stop getting up extra early to shower and just shower when you feel like it with men downstairs (putting a bath towel over the open window) and have your preschoolers act like sentries.

- When you hide the GCs sign that's been "advertising" in your front yard all winter and spring but then your neighbors mistakenly think your renovation is done.

- When you repaper the floors instead of washing them.

- When things in your house that weren't broken start to break due to overuse by the crew - door handles fall off, doors won't stay shut, glass pane is broken, pasta bowl is broken, mops are broken.

- Kids playing in the backyard tell you they are etching stones with sticks and you don't realize for 10 minutes the sticks are rusty screws.

- Kids learn about cigarettes because the guy painting around the new French door always has a cigarette dangling out of his mouth (and, they point out, he doesn't use sunscreen either).

- LAST: The painter who has gone on to work at the neighbor's house comes over to use your hose and your telephone and just today - ASKED ME TO LOAN HIM $100 CASH until tomorrow because the neighbors who owe him money aren't home. (I gently said no.)

It's not a renovation, it's an adventure.

Karen


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Claire_de_Luna (My Page) on Thu, Jul 29, 04 at 3:21

...the mailman tells you he misses the Johnny on the Spot that he's been using for the last six weeks, now that it's gone.

...the DUST ME sign you wrote on the TV six months ago is still there.

...instead of picking up the dog's hairball that's floating around your kitchen, you start counting how many revolutions it makes around the room (under the ceiling fans) per hour as a low-impact form of entertainment.

...you can't find your hairbrush or your keys, but know exactly where all the pulls, switchplates and screws are.

...you know more about your contractors lives, wives, and lies than any of your friends or family.

...you threw away the English version of the instructions to your new oven, but still have the ones in Spanish and German.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: redredwine (My Page) on Thu, Jul 29, 04 at 3:42

...your cat thinks the laundry mountain is her play area to jump out & startle you.

...you start seeing a quarter as another 8 minutes of drying time.

...the porta-potty in the front yard looks like it belongs there.

...you give advice to a worker who is having a tough time juggling two girlfriends.

...you almost say, "Don't make me come out there!" when a couple of the work guys start arguing again.

...you didn't know they still made Pop Tarts--& you tell yourself, "Hey, there's fruit in them!" so they don't sound so bad.

...the people at all the restaurants start to feel like family.

...the UPS guy can't figure out where to leave a package.

P.S. elsieCat: We shaved our Golden Retriever because she is a terrible shedder & can't take much heat. Since we're confined to a couple small rooms downstairs (along with our BR's upstairs), we thought she would feel better & we'd have less hair to contend with. I almost cried & couldn't sleep the first night because it was such a shock, but think she looks great now, & even has a cute little lion tail. It's growing back fast.

BTW, I got a Dyson vac---LOVE IT!!!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: MTnester (My Page) on Thu, Jul 29, 04 at 19:18

---when you still automatically dig open the cabinet doors and drawers with your fingernails, even though the knobs and pulls have finally been installed

---when you adjust the plastic garment bags covering the kitchen windows by lowering them in the morning and then tacking them up again with masking tape at night

---when you treat the appliances and cabinet boxes in the living room as "tables" for the newspaper or TV remote


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: jandd (My Page) on Thu, Jul 29, 04 at 20:55

You start thinking subflooring may be the ideal kitchen floor surface because you don't care what spills on it and you don't really have to "clean" it . . .


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: boysmom (My Page) on Thu, Jul 29, 04 at 21:51

y'all are too funny! here's some more:

your 2 boys, 12 & 6, your pet skunk(yes, we have a pet skunk; that's another forum!) and sometimes the lab all think your room is home.

you eat breakfast standing in the dining room, because the chairs are all the way across the room under boxes and the table is covered w/stuff. and you have nothing but the fridge in the kitchen and breakfast area. nothing at all.

you have to go out onto the patio and in another door to get to said fridge.

they know you at the plumber's office, the cabinet guy's shop, the granite/marble yard, home depot & expo.

you have to thin out your "project notebook".

i've got to get the 2 boys in my bathtub; their new one is the only thing in that bath. no faucets, no walls, no toilet!

best to all-

love, heidi


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: artpulse (My Page) on Thu, Jul 29, 04 at 21:58

you realize you're going to miss your builder (yes i have a crush on him!) when he leaves and you think of selling your new kitchen so you can do it again with all the other materials you love and you wont have to food shop for weeks and weeks.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Gardenerupnorth (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 1:25

When the roofers who framed in a dormer/bathroom, the only thing we have hired out so far, sweetly replace the toilet every night before they leave. But there are no walls. Great view of the garden.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Gardengurl (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 2:08

...When you live in your garage and your house has no walls!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: bluebird_CA (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 2:14

...you write messages to all entering in blue crayon on the back of your car registration cuz it's the only writing instrument and paper you can find! (the message begs all who enter to clean their shoes off well because our floors are now pristinely finished and beautiful!)

...they say "See you tomorrow!" at the local paint store

...your two year old blows into the air mimicking all the smokers taking smoke breaks...that begged another sign, this one on drywall with marker


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: reno_fan (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 2:31

This is so sad...I'm almost embarassed to add these!! I really need to find something else for my kids to do...

-When you overhear your 6 year old and 10 year old daughters playing Beanie Babies....and they're

"remodeling" their "Beanie Home"...

-when those same daughters know the names of, and the functions of:

reciprocating saw

circular saw

level

mud trowel

and most all of the power tools laying around the kitchen....

-When you hear your daughter referring correctly to the use/function of a diamond blade...

Jeeze, I wish I was making these up!!


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: redredwine (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 3:01

...your kids can sleep through a ceiling & walls being torn down below them because they're used to the noise.

...your cats don't even flinch at loud noises anymore.

...your dog looks forward to playing with the worker's dogs every day, & misses them on their days off.

...you & DH are amazed every day that you don't have a flat tire from the billions of nails around. (Knock wood)

...you start worrying about the crew falling off the roof or cutting themselves because they're like part of our family now.

...you can write checks for $10,000 at a pop without breaking out in a sweat & the shakes.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: elsieCat (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 13:26

O.K., that's it, we should make an anthology. It would sell millions :)


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: MsAzadi (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 13:39

- your dh says, Well what did they say on line? when you mention a remodeling subject.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: Sue36 (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 13:56

You purchase the DVD to "What Lies Beneath" so you can study the interior molding, windows, etc. in close detail.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: cheesehead_WI (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 14:31

This is hilarious... LOL!!!

...you decide that living in the basement is so nice that maybe you should just leave your temporary "kitchen" down there, add a bed and rent it out as a studio apartment to help pay for your remodel.

...the towel tacked up to cover part of the bathroom window becomes so normal that you forget that you need to order blinds.

...you've forgotten where all the "regular food" is in the grocery store, having become way too familiar with the deli and take-out sections.

...people stop by to see your progress and you no longer give a second thought to the tumbleweed-sized balls of dog fur rolling around, the thick coating of drywall dust that is absolutely everywhere, and the fact that when you sit down to talk to them, you sit on the floor because there's not a stick of furniture to be seen.


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: barrianne (My Page) on Fri, Jul 30, 04 at 16:28

It's Friday afternoon at the end of a VERY long week, and you wish it weren't Friday because you're waiting for phone calls from KDs trying to find a match for your perfect granite pick that was supposed to be installed today but wasn't because you fired your fabricators, and many granite yards/fabricators are closed over the weekend and you don't want to wait till Monday and what are you going to do all weekend since you can't start putting stuff in the cabinets yet because the hardware hasn't arrived yet and you're not sure if there's going to be more mess again when the cabinetmaker puts on the hardware so you might as well just wait and do nothing and go see the manchurian candidate.

The punchline: the weekend just means a lull in progress when you're remodeling.

(I am supposed to go to a party but all I can think about is undermount sinks and reveals.)


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RE: You know you're remodeling when...

Posted by: marcm (My Page) on Wed, Aug 4, 04 at 8:34

Oh, how the truth can be such fun! I don't think Dave Barry or Steven Wright could have come up with such great material as this (unless they've gone through remodeling themseleves!).

elsieCat, you started this thread, so if you get it published, we'll let you have 51% of the profits.

...after a week-and-a-half of restaurants and frozen microwave dinners, your DW proclaims that she just discovered there is a "Microwave Magic" section in her Quick Cooking magazine, and promtly and adroitly puts it to good use.

...your young children think it has become okay for them to draw and write on the walls because they frequently see you drawing pictures and writing numbers on the walls.

...at bath time your young children say, "Eeew, what's that?" pointing at the piece of lettuce dangling from the drain lever. You reply, "Leftovers."

...with the addition of a plywood shelf, the oven on your gas range - which is otherwise uselessly sitting in the middle of the den - makes a dandy place to hide sharp/dangerous tools from your small children. (Of course, after the remodel is done (if your children are still small children at that time:), they'll probably think that the oven is a great place to hide their toys.)

...your living room resembles a batchelor pad, i.e., you can reach the pizza on the dining table and the Coke in the fridge while sitting in a recliner and watching TV.

...your 9-year-old-ne'er-used-wedding-gift TV tray set is now actually used for eating dinner in front of the TV at night, and used as supplemental sawhorses the next morning.

...your garbage disposer is powered via an extension cord, and you're thinking, "This should conform to the National Electric Code becuase it is plugged into the countertop small appliance circuit and it is, after all, a small appliance that serves the countertop."

...your sure you could make $$$ selling garbage disposers that fit bathroom sinks.

...you kick yourself because you didn't incorporate more counter space in your bathroom remodel last year, 'cause it sure would have made washing the dishes a lot easier.

...you've contemplated shopping around for a dish strainer that would fit over your toilet bowl.

...family dinner time is planned around when there will be "a good stopping point."

I'll be bookmarking this page and checking back when I need some fresh humor!

Comments (18)