I can't imagine any pet not being comforted by the owner's presence.

I was there.

I was there also. I wouldn't do it any other way.

I think it depends on the owner and the dog. I am always present during euthanasia, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If, however, the owner's presence was clearly upsetting the animal, I can understand why a vet may recommend that the owner leave the room.

I agree, it's probably up to how well the owner is handling the situation. I have been present when both dogs and my horse were put down, but I was basically in control of myself, too. I can see where if an owner was a blubbering, hysterical mess, it might make the animal much more anxious.

And on the other hand, there are dogs which are fine at the vet with their owners but get petrified once the owners leave... So I guess the whole situation depends on the particular pets and owners involved.

Personally, I can't imagine not being there with my beloved pets when they are put to sleep-- as hard as it is, I feel like I at least owe them THAT much and it seems the only honorable thing to do.

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts. My coworker did become too distraught to go in with her dog, but the vet gave her this statement on the dogs sensing fear etc. when she called to make the appointment, hours before she brought the dog in. Then again, the vet does know her well, so perhaps she made this statement based on her personal knowledge of owner and dog, although the way it was presented to my coworker, it was more of a blanket statement and not personal. Perhaps that was to spare her already raw emotions.
I appreciate the feedback.

Abbey

I go with them to the end. I am upset, but how can you not be when you know you are saying goodbye to your beloved pet? I was her mom all her life and I stayed with her until the very end of her life. I think my gal knew it was her time as well. I'd have it no other way. I understand those who cannot go through it with their pet, it is a very personal decision.

I've never heard a situation like your friend's where a vet discouraged the owner from staying with their pet?

I recieved a sympathy card in todays mail from our vet because I had my cat Shonen euthanized last Friday. Every time we've lost a pet he has sent us a card and I've saved every one of them. I'm still in a deep funk over Shonen's illness but have vowed that the next cat will get a microchip and health insurance.

I agree that it is a comfort to the pet to have the owner with them until the end instead of laying on a cold stainless steel table with scary strangers around. It's just part of being a responsible pet owner.

Andrea

Some people choose not to be there because they are too upset. Many pets, especially dogs, become very upset when their owners are upset. Out of love, they do not want their pets' last moments to be worrying about the owner. Sometimes we can sedate the pet prior to euthanizing so they do not become upset with the owner.

I was at an at-home euthanasia where the owner was literally running around the house, howling, and pulling her hair out. She was positively unconsolable and was clearly upsetting her cat, who was never easy to deal with even in the best circumstances. It was a horrible procedure; every time we tried to place an IV catheter the owner would scream which would make the cat jerk and we'd lose the catheter. It took hours to get the poor cat down, and she was upset the entire time. Not a good way to go. The next time we had to euthanize one of her pets, the husband made sure his wife was very drugged up prior to us showing up. That made life easier for everyone. But getting those types of drugs is not an option on a short notice or for everyone. If she wasn't drugged, I think we would have had to take her cat to the clinic to put in the catheter and slightly sedate the cat, and then come back to her house and do the euthanasia. But we wouldn't have allowed the owner to be non-drugged and present for the entire procedure again.

I was there, but would respect anyone's decision. It's an extremely emotional and personal moment.

What cnvh said.

I can see how an owner like Meghane described would upset the pet. I agree with cnvh also.

Lisa

I was fortunate/unfortuanate enough that my old gal had to be euthanized on a holiday. I had previously made arrangements for her to be euthanized at my home. There is one vet in the practice who does it, but when I made the call she was on call for Memorial Day. She offered to wait until the next day at lunchtime, but actually it couldn't wait. Therefore, we had to meet her at the office. She offered to go into an exam room and I declined. We put her to sleep, sedative first, in the waiting room of the office. I didn't want to take her into an exam room. I have a hard time returning to those rooms afterwards. In any event, since the office was closed, it was only my husband, myself, old gal, vet and tech with her.

I was extremely upset - not in the way Meghan described above. I was so connected with old gal that she knew I was upset, heck I had been upset for the past 6 months knowing it was going to be happening, just did not anticipate this quickly.

I recommend to any petowner to find a vet that has an on call vet 24/7 who will meet you at the office in emergency. In our area, that is the exception not the norm. Most vets in our area direct people to other locations which are much further and to people you do not know. That was one of the many reasons I switched my pets to this particular practice from the one before it. The old vet had a 24/7 policy but abandoned it a few years after we joined the practice. The 24/7 is priceless to me. I have had to use it quite a few times since it seems that most injuries and illnesses requiring immediate treatment do not happen during regular hours.

Just some thoughts, sadly, having just done this recently.

I can't imagine not being there with an old friend until the end. I know they would do the same for me and stay by my side.

We were "fortunate" enough that our old lab went on her own at home when she passed away two months ago. I was holding her until the end. Had we needed to take her to the vet, one of us would have been there, being as stoic as possible. I reiterated to DH repeatedly that I wanted her sedated beforehand at any cost. A few years ago I went with my mom to have an old lab put down and was surprised that they didn't sedate her first. It was a shock to me and has never set well in my gut. I will ask the same for our sickly cat when her time comes- I doubt she will leave quickly on her own as pup did.

I lost it after our dog took her last breath and was obviously gone. I went into the bathroom and wailed uncontrollably. I would have held it together at the vet's office or if someone non-family were present- at least I hope- but can see that sort of thing as being too distressful for a fur-friend in the moments before.

Q

Abbey, perhaps this was the vet's way of saying, "if you don't want to be in the room,you don't have to be..." Particularly if the vet perceived the person as being the kind that might fall apart.

Labmomma, I didn't know about your baby crossing the bridge, ((((hugs))))

I think the vet is uncomfortable with the owners being emotional and is transferring his uncomfortableness to the pet....harumph

This is a subject that I think is a very individual issue. How things are dealt with depend on circumstances which are almost always going to be different.

When I lost my old dogie Tara 16 months ago, I thought I had made all of the proper arrangements. She had numerous severe issues, was 14, and really living on time the Divine gave her that was extra.

I had the numbers of 3 emergency vets that said they could come to my home. I simply couldn't stand the thought of having the process done any other way. When the time came, all three vets said they couldn't make it, one said it would have to be the next day. Well, I didn't have until the next day. She was suffering.

I was forced to come up with an alternate plan, and, thank goodness, a thoughtful caring vet came to my home. Tara died peacefully in my arms that evening.

I understand how some people are going to be traumatized by going through this experience. Again, it is an individual thing and depends on how you are put together. I have lost many people in my life, and going through this experience was worse than any of those. I have talked with numerous people who went through the same thing, and said they couldn't be there with the pet at the end. To me, this seems somewhat off, but they took comfort in their decision, just as I took comfort in mine.

For anyone who has a pet, I think it is best to discuss how you will deal with this subject when you need to. As the pet gets older, discuss it more. I think you are sort of doing a dis-service if you do not at least discuss how your beloved pet will pass to the next life. It is simply part of being a pet owner. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but, doing right things is not always easy.

SG

Several years ago, when we knew we were going to have to have our dog put down, I made arrangements and paid ahead of time.

The vet did it in the back seat of our Suburban. It was important to me that we did not have to go into an exam room. The dog was calm throughout and it was very peaceful.

Now we will be facin this again in a few weeks or months with our remaining dog. As the same vet is no longer there, I hope one of the remaining vets at the clinic will extend the same courtesy to us.

I have not been able to be present when our horses have been put down.

I have held every single pet that was to be "put to sleep".

It was my resonsibility to see that they died as I had directed. It was important to me that they died in the comfort and arms of the person they'd come to trust. And I disagree that they "sensed" anything from me aside from the unswerving love and comfort they'd always received.

I suspect the vet. was more freaked out by the potenial reaction of the OWNER to their decision than that of the pet in question! People can be really stupid sometimes.

I've been there for several pets. I think it comforts them. I wouldn't want to die alone. I'd want someone I love and trust holding me and petting me.

Some people can handle it and some people can't. I've been with all of my animals when they were euthanized, but I don't fault people who can't be in the room.

I couldn't do it, I know I couldn't. I can make myself wail just thinking about any of them dying and theres nothing wrong with any of them to upset me. So I can just imagine what I'll be like when the time finally comes.

I think my boyfriend would honestly rather be alone with his big guy when it happens, anyways. And I know I'd be the type to upset the animals, especially my 3 girls, they're all extremely in tune with my emotions.

If I get worried because my boyfriend is really late from a day trip quadding, it doesn't take long until I have 2 cats and a dog pacing behind me, and jumping everytime theres a small noise.

However, I think if there were no one else to be with them, I'd try my best to pull through, for them.

I have given this post considerable thought.

When my dog Tara passed in my arms, I was a mess for at least two weeks. Practically incapacitated. Even though I though I was prepared, I wasn't. I read everything I could find on the subject and talked to other people, wondering how they ever got through the whole thing. Things were to horrible to even consider going to a grief session.

I kept thinking that I took enormous comfort in the decision that I made. With that thought, I worked my way to thinking that my dog was an incredible, temporary gift from the Divine. It would have been selfish of me not make the decision that I made. I had gotten so much from this creature. So many things to treasure.

SG

Putting a horse down is a whole different ball game than euthanizing a dog or cat. Horses are instinctively programmed NOT to allow themselves to be knocked off their feet, so they will fight to remain upright. It's a lot tougher to watch an animal struggle to save himself or herself, no matter how necessary the euthanasia may be or how ill or injured the horse is. Horses also don't go down gently, and there's not anything you can do to substantially ease the fall.

Most of my herd is now buried behind my barn. I was present at every euthanasia, doing what I could to reassure them, and stroking them until they took their last breaths. It is a process I dread every time.

Laurie

I am unclear why you would sedate an animal before you euthanize it. Ok, maybe a horse... That sounds more like for the owner than the animal. When we did it at the Humane society, it was essentially an overdose of sedative..

>>>>>Horses also don't go down gently, and there's not anything you can do to substantially ease the fall. >>>>

This is why I could not be present when my horses were put down. I said my goodbyes and went into the house, leaving my husband with them. Even though he was not attached to them like I was, it was not easy for him. I have never asked him for the details.

I have to be with my horses when they are put down, but I hide in the house while the body is being drug to the gravesite and buried. I just can't let that be the last image of the horse in my mind.

Laurie

nycefarm, maybe the prior sedation is more for me than the animal, I don't know. When my mom's dog was put down, she was in bad shape, but still walking and obviously still mentally present. The vet simply injected the meds and stopped her heart in a matter of seconds. It really freaked me out to have her watching me (wondering what was going on?) and just die right there, like that, from her heart stopping. That was no OD of sedative or anything that seemed peaceful, it was flip-the-switch-off-as-fast-as-possible. I would much rather have my friend drift off into a sleep and then leave from there. Maybe it is more for me, but that never has set right with me the way it was done. If the animal were mostly out of it already, then maybe not, but otherwise I would prefer a less clinical passing than what was experienced with that dog.

spiritual gardener, when my dog passed away I was a mess too. After a few days I considered calling a national depression helpline- I wasn't considering suicide or anything like that, just had gotten to a point where I felt helpless and unmotivated. But that is grief, so I was gentle with myself and let the process take shape. It still hurts and always will.

Q

I have been to both types of euthanasia. It is very abrupt when no sedative is given prior to the pink juice. I stayed with my parents lab when he had to be put down a few years ago. I hate their vet anyway (another story), but he was so cavalier, despite the fact that his tech who also attended with me, is my parents' petsitter. I requested the sedative be given first - his answer was - no need, he had other patients to attend to. He just injected the pink juice and Merry dropped to the ground in a heap. Very disturbing. Merry lost his urine and it was awful.

The times my pets have been euthanized, a sedative has been administered prior to the pink juice. It relaxes the pet. If you have the pet in the vet's office, it means you have had to make a difficult call, get the pet into the car and then into a waiting room of a place where most pets don't want to be. The pet is usually very anxious by the time you get to the exam room, you are a wreck for many different reasons, etc. The sedative lets the pet settle down so that goodbyes can be said while your pet is relaxed. You can hold and talk to your pet for a few minutes and everything is calm. After you have had enough time, the vet will administer the final injection and the pet is gone.

I think the former version with no sedative is done by vets who are callous and unfeeling. Any vet who would not accommodate my pet in the way I request (within reason of course), and would not give a sedative before euthanizing a family pet, I would think should perhaps be in a different field.

Staying with your pet through euthanization is difficult at best. It is a private decision and a very personal one. I don't think an owner feels any less for their pet if they cannot bear to attend, it is just so difficult, thus my participating in my parents' lab's euthanization. I think someone who loves the pet should be with them, but if you cannot and you trust your vet, your pet is with the person who has cared for and been there when the chips are down for the life of your friend. That is good enough for me if that's what a petowner choses.

Just a few thoughts.

I forgot that my dog Tara also had a sedative prior to the pink juice. It does calm them. I think everyone should insist on it, especially if the dog is in pain. All I wanted was for her to slip peacefully from my arms, she did that. I felt her go.

I'm hoping that the process will get easier for my other dogs, but I don't think thats realistic. People like me who are so incredibly connected to their pets are just bound to have a difficult time.

SG

The dogs and cats at our local council pound are routinely sedated before the green/pink dream. Less stress on the animals, less stress on the staff; who, although they have little connection with the animals, are committed to handling them as best they can.

labmomma, thank you so much for that last post, it helped me put a lot straight in my head. My mother's dog was the first pet who I accompanied (back in 2001) and I was very disturbed by the process. It didn't feel right. I had always heard that the pet is sedated and then the heart stopping med is injected. Again, the whole thing freaked me out. I'm grateful my lab who passed away went on her own peacefully, but am relieved to hear that I won't be out of line asking for a sedative for future pets. (No one in the family uses that vet anymore, but for different reasons) My cat with kidney disease worries me some days... Thank you again for sharing the information.

Q

I just found this thread searching for something else -- thought I'd add something the vet told us who euthanized our kitty a few months ago.

The needle with the sedative is very thin, and the pet can hardly feel it all. The vet is then able to use a tourniquet and find a vein for the fatal injection without disturbing the pet at all. Our vet was very disparaging of vets who do not use the sedative.

Our kitty sat in my lap while the vet gave the sedative (we were at home, in comfortable surroundings), and he purred the whole time and quietly went into a deep sleep. He didn't feel a thing after that.

I agree with Chelone, she took the words out of my mouth. I held both my cats when they were put to sleep. In fact, when my Ragdoll Cleo was put to sleep in October the emergency vet CHARGED me to be there. I was so offended, but had no choice because it was a weekend and she was having seizures from FIP.

I held it together during the procedure. I fell apart after. The cats are my family. I would never let a family member die with only a doctor there if I was available.

In my experience, dogs, cats, and horses get upset if their humans are upset or frightened, and euthanasia is no exception. I want my furbabies' passings to be peaceful for them, which is why I hid when my horses and my favorite cat were put to sleep -- being there would have upset me, and them, too much. Likewise, I stayed with my husband's 20-year-old collie when she was put to sleep, since he was such a wreck that she would have been upset too.

When the vet knows the person well and knows they are going to be upset, I think it shows care for the animal and the owner to gently suggest what the vet suggested -- that the animal will sense their person's fear, nervousness, or sadness and likely be upset.

Just my 2 cents.

It is better if the owner is not unduly upset of course. But the choice should be the owner's, not the vet's. Some years ago when my dog had to be euthanized the vet said that we couldn't be there, and haughtily asked if there was a problem. I did not have the emotional strength to deal with her at the time. I did not go back there again.

cocooner

We live in the country. When our wonderful companion of 16 yrs. died, we took her up in the woods and layed her on a bed of leaves. We didn't want to cover her because we wanted her to feed other animals and then be returned to the earth.

This last fall there was a huge deer that had been hit with an arrow and was laying on our land. Within 2 weeks, that deer wasn't recognizable. Nature takes care of death and we should make it easy.

Interesting to read others opinions of pre-sedating as this came up as an issue for me. My first euthenasia experience I didn't know anything, I did not ask for pre-sedation. My cat cried out when the fluid entered into the catheter he already had in his leg for meds. Later I found out that its possible that the chemical may cause a burning sensation. Years later there I was in an exam room arguing, fighting through tears and sobs with a vet to sedate first and then had to fight him not to do a heart stick. Not only did I not think that was the way to go but it would have been his first - no way. I had never questioned vets previously till my cats illness and death. After that it was thank God the internet came along. They don't always like it when you do your own research but I got much better care for my animals because it caused me to ask a lot of questions, which resulted in discussion and more options.

Our last 2 dogs were euthanized while lying on a blanket in the back seat of our SUV. In each case it was very peaceful.
There was no way that I was going to go inside.

Nancy

Since this topic's come up again, I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents with my experience.

In October, my little sheltie boy, Cutter, was the first pet I've had to personally take in to the vet to have euthanized. The vet was incredibly sympathetic with DH and I, told us that their standard procedure was to sedate first, then put in an IV to administer the dose that would put him into his final sleep. We could either be there or not, our choice, and the vet made it very easy for us to be there, he spoke gently to us and discreetly made boxes of Kleenex available. The vet provided a soft, snuggly blanket to put under Cutter, so he wouldn't have to be right on the metal exam table.

When Cutter was sedated, he was so relaxed. He gave a great big yawn, then dozed off, and even started snoring! Then the vet came back in and the IV was put in and the final dose was given, and we were allowed as much time as we needed to just be with him in the exam room after he'd passed away. We ended up taking him home with us to bury him, and we were able to bring the car around the back of the building, where the vet waited with Cutter in his arms, wrapped in the blanket.

As hard as it was to let Cutter go, the vet made it as easy for Cutter and for us as possible, and the way this vet handles the issue of pets dying is the only way a vet should be, I think. He simply has a great bedside manner, you know? We also received a "Sorry for your loss" card in the mail that week, signed by everyone in the office.

I hope everyone finds a vet who shows great care for their patients, and shows understanding and provides options to the owner. ^_^

I only stayed with one animal, a cat. They had trouble getting a vein and the cat was quite angry with them. She was very, very ill, but still had the strength to let them know they were not making things easy for her. One dog had to be put down on Christmas Day, and she was in a coma. I just couldn't go and see her like that. The next one was up and doing seemingly okay. I had visited him at the vet's office earlier in the day, and he seemed fine, except uncomfortable with all the fluid in his chest. He couldn't find a comfortable position, and he seemed to be nauseated. After spending about 5 minutes with him, he turned to the door to let me know visiting time was over - he was to uncomfortable and wanted to go back and lie down. We had only had him a few months, and he wanted relief more than a particular person, poor baby.

I confess to not reading this whole thread (it's late). However, I think I can still add a perspective here. I am a certified euthanasia technician (retired) and unfurtunately have put down many an animal. I would always opt to be with my pets when/if they are euthanized. However, the original poster's vet had a point. An animal can always sense stress in their owner and anxiety.

I always opted to do the deed alone if possible, and make it a kind and lovely (yes, lovely) process for the animal. However, if the owner agrees to not be hysterical (I always explain this "stress" situation and the specifics of the process to them), then they can be present. Otherwise I didn't allow it. Every situation was different.

I think its great if the owner is there for the animal, but its not for the comfort of the owner, its for the comfort of the animal. That was always my priority. If the owner was obviously going to be stressed and crying then I didn't want them there. I don't want an animals last moments to be full of stress worrying about why their owner is freaked out. Animals pass.. humans pass. To us, (humans) its a stressful event. To animals, I rather think it is more natural. I liked to put their needs before ours in those moments. They are going to a better place, and it should be a calm experience. If the owner can be calm and loving, then I think its better for the animal. If not, then they can do the emotional thing in the lobby.

As a note, sometimes I let an owner go in against my better judgement. It turned into an awful experience for me as the one doing the deed, and the for the animal (I expect) wondering why the heck their drama queen mom was freaking them out. I actually had to ask them to leave the room.

Other times (actually most), I've seen it be an intimate experience for both the owner and the pet. In those times, after I've explained the process, I think both the pet and the owner had a better experience for it. The closure was there, and the owner left knowing they were there through a painless end. Most of the time, I felt like the owner left knowing their pet went to a better pain-free place.