Look in the phone book, papers, contact medical center YMCA etc for grief support groups. There are many resourses avaiable. Many of these are quite resonable and or free. If you have other relatives this will help. Start a journal to write memories

I don't go on this forum too much as it moves rather slowly, but I saw your post and wanted to express my sympathy about your mother's passing. Unfortunately, we share much in common. My mother was also my best friend, and she died very suddenly, also of a brain hemorhage. She was on vacation with my family and at the end of a busy day, she mentioned feeling a bit tired and would try to have a nap before dinner. She seemed her normal self and mentioned nothing else other than feeling a bit tired. As I was helping her pull back the bedspread and get settled, she just suddenly slumped over and could not be revived by either my DH or myself who both know CPR, or the paramedics when they arrived. Her death was so unexpected as she was only 70, but the only positive feeling I could muster out of it was that it was almost instantaneous and she apparently didn't suffer. However, I can totally relate to your feelings of "what if" and so forth, as I went through the very same thing. I kept thinking that if I had just been suspicious when my mom mentioned she felt a bit tired, I might have known something was odd. However, the doctors assured me that it's almost impossible to survive a massive brain hemorhage even if you are right in a hospital, and I would just have to understand that nothing could have been done, but she died without pain. It has been almost 4 years since I lost my mother and I still miss her terribly. But I can tell you that the raw grief you are going through right now will mellow somewhat over the years. You will not stop missing your mother. But you will be able to think and speak of her without crying all the time, and cherish the happy memories, as opposed to dwelling on her death, which is so common in the first year. My thoughts are with you, and I wanted to pass along something written in one of the sympathy cards I received. It said "A loved one is not really gone unless they are forgotten."

Jane, The "Fluffy" dumplings are easy to make from scratch. I grew up on Biscuit Dumplings but prefer homemade better. Here are the recipes that I use. One has some bread and parsley in them, they are still light, but with a little texture. Home Cookin Chapter: Recipes From Thibeault's Table ========================== ------------------------------------- 1 1/2 cups flour 1 Tablespoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons shortening(butter/margarine or crisco 3/4 to 1 cup of milk Mix dry ingredients and cut in shortening. Add enough milk to make a soft wet dough. Drop by tablespoon on to the top of stew and cover and simmer on low for about 15 minutes. -------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- 2 cups flour 3 Tablespoons butter 3/4 teaspoon salt pinch of baking powder Milk Mix dry ingredients and cut in butter. Add enough milk to make a soft dough. Knead for a minute until smooth and let sit for 1/2 hour. Roll out dough to desired thickness. Dough should be on the thin side. Cut into 1/2 inch strips, 1 1/2 to 2 inches long. Drop into boiling stew and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes or until noodles are cooked. -------------------------------------- ======================= 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley 2 slices white bread, quartered 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup milk 4 tablespoons butter, melted Combine parsley and bread in processor; whirl until medium size crumbs. Add 1 1/4 cups flour, baking powder, and salt; process just until combined. Add 1/2 cup milk and butter; process using on-off pulses just until blended. 5 Drop mounded tablespoons of dumpling mixture into stew.

When my mom died, i found the book Motherless Daughters very helpful. There is nothing like the love of a mother, I still very much miss my mom and she died 20 years ago.