I had infertility issues from the start. I had trouble conceiving and carrying - lost two, maybe more before the end of the first trimester. I had a septate uterus - where there is a partial seperation of the uterus. If the egg implants there, there is not enough blood flow for the pregnancy to continue. After nearly 8 years of trying, I finally found a doctor who was willing to remove it - got pregnant the next cycle and had my son - wonderful pregnancy. Then - never conceived again! (I did use Clomid - a fertility drug before and after the surgery to remove the septum). then when my son was 6, I developed an ovarian cycst - it grew quickly and they had to do an emergency hysterectomy and they found out I had endometrosis all over. I never had the pain associated with endometrosis - unitl the cycst was the size of a grapefruit. I had never been told I had it before but I sometmes wonder if it was there (endometrosis) to begin with. It is a terrible pain in your heart to even lose an early pregnancy - its an undefinable loss. I wish I had more children but at least I have my son - and he now has a son. Over time, you come to terms with it - but its not easy. I wish your daughter and family the best. The whole infertiltiy issue can control your life. have her check out the support group RESOLVE. Even sharing with someone online ( if you find a local group, that's better) can help.

I had hoped for more writers too. I have been encouraged by my son, mostly, and I think that perhaps you have to be older and have that 'encouragement' to do it. My son, is (ooohh) 52, and is just curious to learn how we got to where we had been before he arrived on the scene and my remembrances of our "gypsy" life during his childhood. We 21st century old folks have lived during such huge changes in our society and in our environment...and even in our values....that we really owe our children a glimpse of how we rose to the occasion of those milestones. Just a thought! Nanny BTW....some old movies that are shown today, show many scenes that our parents aspired to, rather than the fact of life. Not always, but when I see some of them I realize that some of the ideas that my mother tried to make me believe were things that movies told her to aspire to in a subliminal way. Today's entertainment is much more realistic, or is it? I really love the writings of John Steinbeck as he told the truth about the pain of the depression and of the lives, sometimes of desperation, that many people lived. And, yes, I wonder as I see men and women "pan-handling" on the streets of our small community being homeless...are they feeling that same kind of desperation? TMI, sorry.

I suppose the silver lining in all of this is that I am a writer, and all this heartache will feed my craft. I talked with her the other day, and told her she can't live half in and half out. If she wants to make things work with me, I have conditions. One of which is obviously therapy with a trusted family counselor, the others aren't important at this point, they are all very manageable and less than the average person would probably want. I told her I am looking at behavior and action, not words and apologies. She is taking the weekend to really dig deep and decide if she has the inner strength to deal with her issues or not. I have been very calm and surprisingly at peace this last week. I am very confident of the man I am, and proud of the strength and grace I found in myself. I know that however this turns out, it will not change me as a person, and I can still lead a happy life. I can't say the same is true for her. If she comes to me next week with true effort for redemption, I will allow her back. With counseling and honest introspection I do believe she can become the person that embodies the good and conquers her demons. But if she strays, if I feel her efforts are insincere, I will walk. I will file for divorce and let her go, because as all of you have said, I cannot fix her, and I refuse to stand in this alone. I feel strong and committed, that I could follow either path unflinching. It is her watershed moment, she will never have a better opportunity for love, commitment and happiness. It is her moment to seize though, not mine. I know who I am. Without her, I am still the loving, kind, dedicated individual I always was, I just won't be a husband. Thank you all for caring enough to reply. The support is very much appreciated. Real life friends have rallied to me as well, in numbers I didn't even realize I had. I know these people see value in me, and can respect my actions. I never took action I regret, and that gives me peace. I am, and shall remain, me.

An interesting group with the same birthday. I'm not sure I would have them all attending my imaginary dinner-party, but I'd like to see them all at one birthday party, speaking to each other