I would write her a sweet note telling her how much she means to you, and a couple of favorite memories.

I did something similar after my Mom's cousin lost her 21 year-old daughter to an accident. The cousin said mine was the most meaningful card they received out of hundreds.

Dirty is right. A young girl who worked in my office was murdered while out on a date. I wrote her parents a nice letter, mentioning two memories of their daughter. Her mother wrote back that mine was the most touching card she received. I never forgot.

How sad for her and for you. I guess I'd just say-do whatever your heart feels is right. The friend of mine who had 4 young kiddos had pancreatic cancer & passed away in 5 short weeks. I (at that time) made up a cassette of her favorite music, bought a portable cassette player and took it to her hospital room. She passed while the song "You'll Never Walk Alone" was playing...the family told me she got so much strength & hope from the music. Maybe a CD?

Thank you, guys, for some wonderful ideas. I was so shocked on hearing the news even tho I haven't seen her in a few yrs. They closed the company we worked for & she transferred to the other office in Arizona, and I was just unemployed for a while so I never got to see her again. Now I hear she's moved back to Calif. to be around her family before her time comes. It's just so sad.

I wrote this to a dear friend,he passed away not long after
but his wife told me how much he appreciated my card.
We did know his condition was terminal,so I bought a
really nice "Thinking of you card"
Dear Ron,
We were very sorry to hear that you haven't been well
and want you to know we are thinking of you and wishing
you well.
Please know that you are in our thoughts continually.
All our best wishes.
Nola etc.

Hallmark has several cards that basically state that even though I don't know what you are going thru, my thoughts and prayers are with you. You might look to see if you can find something like that, to help you write your own thoughts down.

I would share a fond memory - one that will bring a smile to her face and bring her back to another time. I'd end it short and sweet with you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sorry about your friend,
Maryanne

I wish I would have had you guys to fall on for help when my close friend Cynthia passed away...She and I were friends from diaperhood. Had our first baby at the same time and our second one real close too...she skipped out on having the third one with me...

She found out when we were 49 that she had ovarian cancer. I didn't know what to say to her...She had moved to CA. I was still here in Iowa...so I couldn't go to her...I didn't have any words so I kept putting off calling her...When I finally did call I still didn't know how to bring it up...I felt so inadequate. She was gone nine months after finding out.
But after she passed she came to me in a dream that was so real..she looked just like she did back in high school and all she did was walk across the room, hug me and told me..."it's okay"
I think she was telling me goodbye.

Sorry to horn in on your post with my story..(I'm bad at doing that...but your post made me remember)

I miss her.

patti

Greetings judy jay,

I am sorry that you have this pain to deal with and for the pain with which your friend's family has to contend.

I like the idea of referring to one or two specific memories, especially happy - or silly - ones.

Possibly something relating to your having learned a good lesson about life from her, or something that's inspired you to evaluate or change your life in a better way. How much you've valued - and value, if there have been recent connections - your relationship.

If religious faith is important to her (and to you, as well) perhaps something along the line of asking that God grant her strength, courage and peace of heart through the coming days/weeks/months. Not too specific about time, especially possibly leaving the thought with her that her remaining days, etc. might be few.

Whatever you send, it needs to be genuine ... really you.

I offer good thoughts and hopes, plus some prayers, for your friend, Judy.

ole joyful

Judy, you have been given good advice. I would say the same, just tell her what she meant to you, how she made a difference in your life. Sharing a fun memory, recounting your life together. Be there, be her friend.

Thank you all, again, for some wonderful advice. I do plan on using the suggestions you gave me. This is so hard to do but I don't want to keep putting it off because I'm not sure how much time we have to contact her. I appreciate your heartfelt advice & knew I could count on my cyber friends, as always.

I think you have been given some really good advice here.

The only word of caution I would add is to be sure you've got your facts straight and know what stage of acceptance your friend is in.

The reason I mention this is that I was recently in the same situation and heard that a dear friend and co-worker had an extremely malignant chest tumor. I sent him an e-mail at home telling him how sorry I was and what a good friend and mentor he had been and if he ever needed to talk, to call me.

He replied, I'm going to beat this thing. And I realized that no matter what I had heard, he was not yet in an acceptance stage, and I felt really bad for being premature in my approach. He's currently undergoing chemo and still cheerful and optimistic. He is not ready to accept defeat, and I erred in assuming he was.

I like Nola's approach - a nice thinking of you card with good wishes opens the door for further, deeper communication when it is time.

Well, today happens to be the Anniversary of my Brother's Death. His best friend made a CD of my Brother's radio interview with a DJ. The CD also, contained songs my Brother wrote and sang.

I played the CD at the Viewing of my Brother's Funeral, because it meant so much to him and to us.

Gayle