Thanks everyone for the advice. Hmm...I guess I'm really just screwed this year. I'll definately try and attend the swap in Ft Worth and see what I can find. I guess I don't really know what I'm looking for. Just full sun stuff. I would like some ornamental grass. My purple fountain grass seems to like it just fine so far. But ask me again in a month... LOL Man I can't wait to have my own house and my own yard next year. Then I'll really be getting down with the gardening

Hi... i've posted my story on the stepfamily forum- am currently breaking up with BF after 13 months- came to realization that he is a controlling person. Just posting here to vent about his terrible gift giving. Some of this may be selfish of me: Birthday - his daughter's birthday was 2 weeks before mine. For her birthday, he told ex he would pay for the party ($300). Ex bought snacks for the kids (?$50)We went together to get her birthday presents- he picked out at least 5 or more outfits for her, wanted to make sure she had lots of gifts to open (his own words), spent $150? My birthday two weeks later: I got flowers sent to my work. Got home, he gave me a birthday card, handed me a small box & said "Sorry, I kinda ran out of money, but I wanted to make sure you had something to open". Inside the box was a decorative coin jar, the lid had a baker figurine, and the jar was titled "Extra Dough". I was very disappointed, but hid it. He explained that since cooking together was a thing that we liked to do together, he thought it would be cute. Then took me out to dinner at a really nice steakhouse (I don't eat meat except for seafood- which they had), and given his money comment, I was very budget conscious that night. I tried to let go of if, but it kept eating away at me so a few days later I brought it up that I felt he didn't place much importance on my birthday - compared it to how he basically spared no expense for his daughter (didn't ask ex to split cost), but then when it came to my birthday it was "sorry, i ran out of money". Wanted to make sure she had lots of presents to open, but got me a coin jar! He then told me I was wrong for making him feel bad about spending money on his daughter. He told me that he could have chosen not to take me out to an expensive dinner, and not to get me flowers. I just felt that he could have budgeted better - knowing he had two birthdays, he could have asked ex to split the party costs, but chose not to (another issue that always came up). 1st Anniversary - relationship was already on the rocks. The week before, I mentioned I was thinking of buying myself some jewelry (had some gift cards to use). He didn't want me to, said that he was thinking of doing something nice for our anniversary and buying me a necklace to match a ring that I have. I said he should do that if it's what he wants to do - me buying a necklace for myself would not be as meaningful as something from him, and that besides I hadn't bought anything with the gift cards yet, and might still choose to buy something else. I didn't have much enthusiasm when discussing the anniversary, but since he brought it up, after that i kept bringing it up - asking him what he would like - should we go out for dinner, cook a special meal, etc - he said we'll play it by ear & never made any definite plans although I kept bringing it up. Day of our anniversary, he said "happy anniversary" in the morning. We met up after work. I had my gifts and card laid out for him on the bed. He got me nothing. I was furious and hurt. Even afterwards, he didn't make it up by planning something for us, or even getting me a card or a gift. His reason - he didn't think I was very interested in celebrating b/c I didn't seem very excited about it so he didn't plan anything (true I wasn't all energetic & excited, but I did get him card & gift b/c I thought it was the right thing to do), and he didn't "want to be the jerk who shows up with a present" when the other person doesn't (so I was the jerk?), and that he never made it up afterwards because I made him feel so bad about it.

This sounds more like male menopause to me. He's seen the grim reaper...... He's admitted to himself for the first time he's mortal.... What has he done with his life? Has he had enough fun in life...? He knows death could take him at any time. Better live to the hilt now. These are all musings that may be going through his mind that he is not sharing with you. Will he hurt you by his actions? Definately. Does he mean to? NO! He can't even explain it to himself what he's going through. Male menopause is very real and serious. Some marriages do not survive it. What can you do? Either hang in there and realize you are dealing with a force of nature, or get out. If his problem is not medical, eventually he'll wake up to what he's doing - but it could take years. BTW, the more responsible the husband has been up to this point, the more he will rebel in male menopause. I've seen this (and lived it) many times. Good luck to you - you'll need it.

In the beginning she did want him back, now (10yrs later) I think she just wants to cause trouble whenever and where ever she can. She has become a bitter man hating woman. She is always running men down and talking about how sorry they all are. I have really let go of the anger I feel towards her and mostly pity her. But it has all started up again with my SD's opinion. I think what bothers me most is my sister has told me for 10 years that blood is thicker than water and that my SD would eventually turn on me for her biomom. I swore that this would never happen because I would never ask her to take sides. But I forgot a very important part of the equation - THE EX/BIOMOM. Even though I didn't force her to choose - the biomom did. And I really don't talk to anyone about it because it hurts so much, because my hubby is tired of hearing, my family is full of ""I told you so's...". I am not leting it affect my life as much as you would think. But my SD will do things like call my biodaughter and ask if I am home and tell my biodaughter to call her when I am not there because she wants to come see her. (they are close - and I encourage my biodaughter to continue that sister relationship. I am trying to keep this as low impact as possible....) For example: If I ask SD when she plans to enroll in college she says I am implying she is wasting her life. But if I don't ask her they she says I don't take any interest in her like I do my own daughter. So either way - I can't please her. I guess it's because she is just hunting a reason to be mad at me. Once she told her dad that she doesn't come over because I won't make my 11year old son treat her like an adult. Her and my 11 year old have been siblings in the same household since he was 9 months old. He can't remember not knowing her... He looks at her like his biosister.... So when he jokes with her or acts like a typical little brother she claims because he is 11 and she is 20 now that he should address her like an adult. She wants to be treated like an adult but she still comes over to our house and acts like a child. When she came over and had dinner with us a couple of months ago I ask her to put her dirty dinner dishes in the dish washer. WE ALL DO THAT and ALWAYS HAVE. It's a rule in our house. I wasn't asking her to clean up from dinner - simply load her dirty dishes... She had a fit because she said that I was treating her like a child and bossing her. I load my dishes and so does my husband and the other three children. It is just stuff like that with her... Every time we interact it is drama. Sometimes I leave thinking "Ok, that went well. Nothing could be misconstrued tomorrow. That was a pleasant day/dinner/event." THE VERY NEXT DAY she is telling her dad or my biodaughter something I did that hurt her feelings and saying that is the reason she hates me. My biodaughter is torn because she grew up with my SD but she has strong loyalty to me and knows I am not doing these things... I just tell my biodaughter to stay out of it and ignore it as best she can. I don't want to drive a wedge between all of us if it can be avoided. And part of me holds on to the hope that she will wake up one day and realize what a hateful, bitter person she has become.