I'm another who understands, having learned from hard experience. I used to think that everyone believed SAHM meant "She's Always Here for Me" because family, friends, and neighbors never hesitated to expect me to... be available at the last minute to take X to a doctor's appointment; babysit their little darlins so they could shop or visit other friends; bake cookies or cupcakes for 40 kids on 2 hours notice; design/fit/sew a new dress for the boss's party [sometimes all in one day]; pick up their kids from school; chair a committee -- occasionally a committee I wanted nothing to do with; proofread their resum or written assignments; *type* their written assignments [back in the days before PCs and home printers]; mend their torn clothes and hem their skirts; pick up their drycleaning since I was already going to the store and never mind that those were in two different directions; dig their gardens because I had a tiller... and so on, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. The best month in my life wasn't when I learned to say No; it happened after I actually began to say it! To the MIL who always called at the last minute and expected me to take her [and wait] to doctor appointments; to the acquaintance who thought I should be delighted to spend an evening doing her bookwork while she was on vacation; to the neighbor down the street who -immediately upon learning that I could sew-- showed up on my doorstep with armsful of clothing for me to mend over the weekend; to the friend of a friend who was sure I wouldn't mind driving to the airport (20 miles each way, during rush hour) to pick up their brother-in-law who just happened to be a total stranger to me... even the neighbor who thought it okay to tell the repairman that I'd be home all day and would let him in whenever he could get there. "No." "No." "No." And guess what? The world didn't cave in on me. My friends were still my friends, and so were my relatives. Were they resentful? Oh yes... after all, I had been their free servant for years and what's more, not being able to call on me at the last minute meant that they actually had to take responsibility for themselves. Did I feel guilty? Sometimes. I was raised to think that always being able to help others was a Good Thing To Do. And it is, but not at the expense of resenting their expectations. Nowadays we have the term "enabler", which I don't think existed when I was younger. What we do, when we are always available to help and help and help, is enable others to take advantage of us. To stop being an enabler requires learning the difference between helping others, and letting them use us. In most cases, we already know the difference. And when we feel we are being used, all we have to do is say NO. "No, I can't take you to the appointment in 30 minutes." "Why not??!!" (You'll hear a lot of that, so be ready.) "Because I have already committed my time elsewhere. If you'll give me more notice, maybe I can take you next time." (Never ever commit yourself unless you are positive you will not resent the time and effort.) One has to be ready to repeat variations on having already committed yourself elsewhere. No one needs to know where, or doing what! It is [bluntly speaking] none of their business. And once you truly believe that - that it truly is not anyone else's business what you do with your time... you will find yourself free to volunteer to help, without resentment.

have fun with the new camera. That lily picture is gorgeous. jean

Sarah, As puffed-up and cold as wild hawks might look, they actually much prefer cold winter to hot summer. They wear the same clothes in each season. Heat is tough on hawks. They can handle it, of course, but they don't like it. That's one reason red-tails often soar high into cold air in the summer. In the winter, the birds much prefer the cold. They are well prepared for anything nature throws at them.

Well good, you have some beauties. Doesn't RFK make you smile every time you see the blooms. It is a good plant that only gets better. I too bought a single fan in 2011, it and Emerald Starburst were my graduation present to myself. Lone Star Wagon Wheel is a pretty one. Always love the Selman's and they do well in my garden. Marlyn Lee Boch is looking good. kay