I loved your reply, it gave me so much to think about!!! I think maybe the first step is to choose a color, buy a sample, and see it on my own wall.
How do I tell whether a color is reflective or absorbent?
The first picture here in the purple forum is the kind of color I love:

http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/decor/gal0612250925427.html?29

I love the Ellen Kennon lavenders and lilacs, and think they can read very neutral.

Bronwynsmom's advice sounds really good - but also a bit intimidating... Can you take a picture of your furnishings and maybe she and others will pop back in for more specific advice. Also, as she points out, your region of the country is *very* critical to how light treats colors, so please list that too. That's one of the reasons I love EK paints so much -- she's nearby, so her light is similar to mine!

In the House Beautiful/Colors for Your Home/309 Designer Favorites book, they list the following fav's-

Sherwin Wms Studio Mauve 0062 "This is a velvety gray with just the right amount of lavender..."

Benjamin Moore Misty Lilac 2071-70
Benjamin Moore French Lilac 1403 "Use this pale lilace with brown and white fabric...very sophisticated."

There are others. It's a wonderful little book, and you can find it at B&N if you are interested.

The furniture is bunched in the middle of the room after a week of scraping walls.
I think I will get some samples, this is going to be a big project and I want to see how paint colors will actually look in my home, which may be different than the totally magnificent gallery photos.

Bestyears,

Those sound like great colors. I have a SW and BM vendors nearby so I am going to go collect paint chips and then decide which of those I want to get an actual sample from.

I must have spring fever, I'm actually looking forward to painting!

You can tell whether it is reflective or absorbent by sticking the chip up there and staring at it.
I know...that sounds like a smart-aleck answer, but it is true! Give time to the looking, and the more you gaze at it, the more you will see. Put several up together and compare them.

Move the sample around the room, hold it high and low, lights on and lights off, behind the lamps and behind the picture frames and in the corners, and if it tends to darken and get moody in some places, it is more likely more absorbent. If it glows back at you, it's reflective.

The best trick I know is this...put the sample up on the wall, stand back a bit, unfocus your eyes just a little, and then imagine the color flooding the whole wall. With a wee bit of practice, you will be able to do it easily.

And always look at everything in the plane in which you will use it. By that I mean, put carpet samples flat on the floor, paint samples on the wall (not on the table), and so on...

Lucille, some brands of paint, (sorry, I can't remember which ones) give the reflective value on the back of the chip. Also, often times the paint guys at the store have a book with more info on each of the paint color and they can answer the questions about things like that.

Remember that purples can be like yellows in that a little goes a long way and they look much more intense when on the walls, especially if you have white woodwork. A lot of the 'grays' are actually a purple and like a PP said, the taupes often have a lot of purple to them.

I used BM Pebble Creek 1453 in my sewing room. I plan to use black accents...the table you see in the pic and black and cream curtains, etc. I think the lilac would look wonderful with dark furniture. Definately get a sample quart of your final choices to paint a few patches on your walls, as was suggested above...don't ask me how I know that ;)

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That is a beautiful color you chose and it does look good with your dark table.

johnmari's previous house had lilac in LR - I think it was BM Wet Concrete

Thank you Lucille...it's a great color. Lilac with a bit of grey to tone it down. (and much better than the robins egg blue that's underneath it ;) The colors on that particular strip are all very nice. Good luck in your search and be sure to post an update to let us know what you find.
Hope

Thanks for remembering, Eileen. Yes, it was BM Wet Concrete, and it's still one of my favorite colors in the whole paint world. It was a grayed-down lavender with the tiniest hint of tan to warm it up, and it was surprisingly neutral because of it. Lavenders and lilacs can be a bit "twee" if you're not careful. It played nicely with every color we threw at it, from furniture in every shade of brown (ranging from natural birch to cherry to dark Mission oak) to red to yellow to even orange. First picture is with the original stained trim, second is with the trim painted white for selling (the mantel didn't really "glow" like that, that's from having every light on plus flash - it was a pretty dim room).

And believe it or not, my DH picked the color. I was going to be "chicken" and go with light green or beige - both colors in my drapes - but he flipped right to the purples in the fan deck. Purple is my favorite color and he encouraged me to go for it, with additional kicks in the butt from this forum. I can't tell you how many times I heard "you know, I really don't like purple, but I do like this room!"

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That is a lovely room, and the color is sort of a neutral because it goes with all you have.

OK, I know this is late to the lilac game, but I just came upon this blog through a friends blog...

Some really lovely lilac-ish rooms...

http://sfgirlbybay.blogspot.com/

Here is a link that might be useful: SFGirlbyBay

Those are gorgeous rooms; and some of them use all different kinds of additional color as well as lilac. This thread is an inspiration!

We painted our bedroom lilac. The woodwork is a cream color and all furniture is dark. Hope this helps. If you would be interested in the color, I can look it up.

Thank you, I would love to know the paint company and color, because it is very close to what I am thinking of for my walls. And, there is dark furniture just like I have. That is a beautiful room.

Sorry, but I'd walk, not run away from lilac! We go to many wakes or visitations here in the South...and no kidding, many of the rooms in funeral homes seem highlighted w/ mauve and lilac.

Um, that is - run, not walk...

I think it's one of those colors you either love or would never even consider. I belong to the latter category but if you love it you shouldn't hesitate to use it. I think it also goes very well with a certain type of decor and not at all well with others (mine). I have a picture of a room that is painted a rather vivid purple and has a large very modern painting in light and yet bright colors hanging on the wall and it looks stunning. And yet, I could not have it in my house. That's what makes decorating so interesting, there's no end to the variety of compositions and juxtapositions.

Mary_lu, I love the lilac color on your walls a lot. I would like to know the color in case one day I repaint my laundry room which I may take a chance on color in that small room since I love purple shades.

Paintable wallpaper? You can do a lot better with a painted wallpaper than just one solid color. Try painting one color, then painting a second color and wiping it off. These are lincrusta, but close enough. Here are some samples showing what you can do. The higher parts are the first color it was painted; the deeper parts are the second color...

A different technique is to paint it one color, then hit it with a dry-ish brush with a second color, like this...

This one has a bit more detailed painting done for a top layer...

At any rate, if you have the time and patience, a great deal can be done with it that is positively breathtaking. You might also consider doing that over the top of wainscoting. Does that give you any ideas?

And oh yeah, if you can afford it, lincrusta is better. It has deeper and more exciting patterns. Forget the dado lincrusta, though. (Like the copper-look one above and the cream one right below it.) There is only one company that produces all of that. They do it on an antique machine (original). It broke down over a year ago and they have been unable to repair it. So there may never be any more of that. At least that's the information I got about a month ago.

Still, you should be able to do some equally lovely paint treatments with paintable wallpaper. I saved the above because that's what I want to do in my powder room. Take their breath away!

What do you think?

I had to laugh at the poster above who said she would not use lilac because of the association she had, that she had seen it used in funeral homes. I did a quick study and found the following:

The color lilac may have symbolic meaning in certain contexts.

Academic dress or academical dress is traditional clothing worn specifically in academia settings, lilac symbolizes a doctoral degree in dentistry.

The color is also commonly associated with lesbianism.

Lilac is a soft dainty colour that is often associated with grandparents or grandchildren and used on greeting cards addressed to grandparents or grandchildren.

Purple is royalty. A mysterious color, purple is associated with both nobility and spirituality.

Seaching for the lilac color meaning found that pale lilac brings love for humanity.

I am neither royal, lesbian, a grandparent, dead, or a dentist. However, I do love humanity.

So one can see that colors bring multiple meanings. This is compounded in that different cultures have differing meanings and colors having meanings here might have totally different meanings in other cultures or contexts.

I personally like the color, and have appreciated the efforts of those who have provided pictures here. If certain folks have strong prejudice based on color, they are welcome to not come to my home, lol.

On lunch right now. Will look up the paint color/brand tonight when I get home and post it.
Marylu

Yes, Lucille there are so many interesting associations with various colors! In liturgical churches (Catholic, Episopalian, Lutheran, etc.) purple is a penitential color that is used for Advent & Lent. We are in the season of Lent right now of course, so there is purple purple everywhere! I wear purple a lot during these times as it is one of the ways I remind myself of & honor these important church seasons.

I love the shades shown in the rooms on this thread. I think it takes courage to paint a room lilac or violet, because it is so different & unexpected, but that's also what makes it so delightful to behold! I can see how it would be a fun color to work with, & that it could go with a quite an array of companion colors. I can imagine it with certain browns, black, white, ivory, greens, pinks, blues. If you ever wanted to change your decor you'd have options! Have fun deciding.

During the Victorian era when they were REALLY into going the whole hog for mourning - like entire wardrobes of mourning clothes and jewelry worn for months on end, temporarily redecorating the house, etc. - lavenders and mauves were considered "acceptable alternatives" to black or gray, especially for younger females. Might have something to do with those funeral homes' decor. Or they just haven't redecorated since the "second mauve decade" aka the 1980s! ;-)

I've been to several funeral homes up here in NH in the last five years and they've all been decorated in variations on "tasteful beige". I went to one funeral home where the walls were papered with that stripey-textured wallpaper (you know, the kind that's almost ribbed) that was the exact color of a Band-Aid. Urk.

I just wasted a lot of my time, didn't I?

I thoroughly enjoyed those oceanna. Haven't seen those for a while. Who makes them? I check the site logo but didn't see anything like that.

Lavendar walls can be a lot of purple. Some may be fine with it but with a color like that, the cravings can also be easily met with accents which is an easier dose for many to live with.

Oceana,
I am thinking that some of those designs may better be suited to larger spaces than what I have.
I love the coppery colored one.

It is not a waste at all, your time in bringing them here is an appreciated gift. I've never seen anything like the fancier ones you showed.

tgd2008: You might have a point. I was originally deciding between lilac and neutrals. I was looking at neutrals yesterday and found a very nice SW color, Macadamia, that might work, and then I could have splashes of color elsewhere besides the walls.

Well, thanks. Good to know someone enjoyed the pics.

TGD, it's just Lincrusta. You can buy it in several places on the 'net. As far as the different effects, it's just different paint techniques. One can use those techniques on paintable wallpaper, anaglypta, and lincrusta.

Lucille, I'm planning it for a powder room -- certainly not a large space. You said you're going to use paintable wallpaper, so it's a matter of how you paint it. I wanted to show some stunning alternatives to just plain one-color paint. I did picture a pinky-lilac for you above. I have more pictures.

If you have time to post more pix I'd love to see them.
What pattern were you considering for your powder room?

I haven't chosen what I'll do for my powder room yet -- too many projects to finish first. I doubt I'll do lincrusta, though. Not only is it expensive, it's a bear to install. It's similar to linoleum, so the heaviness pulls it off the wall, plus it's difficult to do corners I hear. Best to have a professional installer with experience with it. The stuff is drop dead gorgeous, though, and it's the nth degree in wall coverings, and will last for generations. I'll either go with anaglypta or paintable wallpaper.

How about you? Have you picked out what you want yet? Are these pictures helping?

Which ones do you like?

"I am neither royal, lesbian, a grandparent, dead, or a dentist. However, I do love humanity."

That has me LOLing! I haven't read a comment that amusing in a long time.

As far as those wall treatments go - all I can say is WOW! They are way over the top for anything I am currently doing in my house, but when I have millions and am living in a manse, I will definitely keep them in mind.

Alexa

Lucille...you're not a elderly royal lesbian dentist?? The Baroness Grandma Lucille Sappho Mourningdove, DDS?
I am so disappointed!

Oceanna,

I love the picture with the chandelier, it is breathtaking.
I, however, am going to use a simple textured pattern that just looks like textured walls.

I've looked at lilac, and I've looked at SW Macadamia about a zillion times, haven't made up my mind yet. Fortunately, the prep is taking way longer than I thought, so I will have time to obsess on the choice further.

Bronwynsmom,
LOL. I'm elderly. If I was a baroness I could afford some of those fancy textured walls Oceanna showcased above.
Sorry to disappoint, lol.

You mean the baby blue entry? That is just gorgeous.

I did throw in two that are just textures... a cream one and a brown one, both highlighted with picture moulding. Very handsome, I think.

I haven't played with it yet, but I think you can do these techniques just on the regular paintable wallpaper, so it doesn't have to be expensive. Lincrusta, though, is over $400 per roll. I don't have money, but I think if we're going to get inspired to do something, it's nice to at least know how the rich people do it. lol!

Lucille, if you enjoy painting and you're not selling any time soon, go with your lilac. But if this painting is a tough job involving ladders, then you or someone will have to (most likely) paint over the lilac later for resale, so think about that. I'll paint any room here except my entry, which is two story and over stairs. I just painted it "I-never-want-to-paint-this-again-beige." It could go on the market tomorrow. Am I selling soon? No, but I know I'm not going to feel more like painting it in five years than I do now, on account of that not getting younger stuff.

No ladders. My home not counting the garage is a little over 1100 sq. feet, a tiny older home. If I ever move, I can always have it painted 'sale beige'. But for now, the kids are grown, and I want to fix it up a little, the way I want it to be.
I decided storage or not, the giant entertainment center has to go, I want an open airy look.
I may do it all, live with it for a year, then change it again. That's OK, most of the changes are inexpensive wallpaper, paint and slipcovers, and I'm blessed to be able to afford that right now.

Then I think you should go for it. What the heck, it's only paint. Live a little!

Here is a link to a lot of different textures and patterns of both paintable wallpaper, and anaglypta you can order online. It starts as low as $14.48 per double roll, if I'm reading it right. If you scroll, you will find ten pages of textures and patterns. Some of these are so hard to see... it really helps if you save them and open them in a photo program and tell it to automatically enhance. At least that's what I did.

Here is a link that might be useful: American Wallpapers paintables & anaglypta

Thank you, I've already ordered some ordinary textured wallpaper that looks like textured walls, but I might order some of the other patterns for another room.

There is another thread started recently about beauty vs practicality. I had my fill of practicality while raising the kids, and now I'm ging to explore what I can do to make this tiny home pretty. You are exactly right, what the heck, it's only paint.

And I've made some pretty bad paint mistakes. I remember as a young person, painting a room yellow. No, not cream, but screaming schoolbus yellow. Although life was busy, I made time to repaint some weeks later, I recall.

I may do lilac and then re-do it, but nothing can be as bad as schoolbus yellow.

And besides, if we were baronesses, we'd be spending all our time and money keeping up some enormous great pile of a house and paying the taxes and wondering what happened to our leisurely old age!!!

I did lilac in my room. But it seemed too much like grey and was depressing. So maybe it's getting the right shade.

This is just not fair. I had my choice down to 2 colors and then picked up the BM leaflet of Pottery Barn colors 2009. Luscious colors, wonderful neutrals. They are all just beautiful.

Your search is over, my dear!!

I was in the BMoore dealer a day or two ago, and found your color.
It's called "Angelica," and it's in the new "Affinity" group of colors designed for Aura paint. It's number is AF-665. It is a pale, foggy, luminous lilac-toned gray, and the back of the chip says, "Conceived and mixed for Lucille."
Okay, maybe not that last thing...

But don't do anything until you have come home with a chip or two or three.

I've used Aura, and its complex colors, superb coverage, and low odor make the extra cost worth every cent, in my view. We did a whole room with 11 foot ceilings from cream to red and used only a gallon and a half.

I agree that good paint is worthwhile.

I'm going after work to get color chips at BM. Will look at Angelica, thank you.

Feel free to hate it, of course!
But I thought it was worth a look for you. Let us know what you think.

Ordinarily, decision making is not difficult for me. But this wall color thing has reduced me to a wavering jelly.

This morning, I was going to get rid of the big storage piece, now, before I do that, I think I should get more ideas, because this here decorating is not going to be as easy as I thought.

I did find out one sad piece of information. The lilacs that called to me, and look gorgeous on a paint chip in the paint store, look terrible on the paint chips in my living room.

So now I have about 8 BM color chips of various colors on my wall and may add a few more, and just look at them for a few days.

Colors look way different in one's home, than in the store or even in someone else's room in a gallery picture.

Further, I am buying light colored slipcovers, so the entire look of the living room might change because of that and might affect the paint color choice?

I'm quickly gaining a lot of respect for those women who have provided beautiful gallery picture showing gorgeous, well put together homes. It definitely takes some talent and experience to create a beautiful room.

I just love some of these... I really wish I could justify putting them somewhere in my house!

Alexa

Have you decided Lucille?
I took a look at that Angelica, and it seems very subtle. Maybe too subtle?
And it's all so darned light-dependent!

I actually think I've decided on BM Yarmouth Blue after doing a lot of comparisons with color splotches on my wall. However, the entire paint project is at a dead stop. I visited with my neighbor and his sheetrock was removed to halfway up the wall because he was flooded. I do not think my sheetrock got wet enough to cut even though I got flooded but I think it might be prudent to wait until the insurance company and the contractor visit to make sure I don't paint a wall that is going to be partly removed.
So the entire decorating project is on hold.
I am using the time productively, I have recaulked one of the bathrooms.