Help - my kitty won't sleep with me anymore

17 years ago

I have 2 13 year old cats. They have always slept in a pile in my bed (my side) with me at night. In the past few months, Oscar stopped doing it, but his brother still does. Oscar is very laid back and adores me and used to get in bed the minute I did because he loved to sleep with me. He still loves me and climbs on me whenever possible, just not in bed. He seems to be getting along fine with his brother too and my husband. I don't sense he is mad at me or anyone, just doesn't seem to like the bed anymore. I've noticed he/they don't seem to sleep much on the guest bed anymore either but they do sleep on the couch. Often Oscar is on padded chairs these days.

I'm really sad about this because I used to LOVE having him in bed with us. I don't suspect he had a traumatic experience with me kicking him in my sleep or something like that because he is SO laid back and tolerant of human mistakes that I just don't think something like that could phase him. I would suspect a bad back like when humans reject certain beds due to back trouble, but based on a cat's sleeping position, I don't see that being an issue. My bedding and bedding cleaning habits are good and have not changed.

Once in a great while, he will get back in bed with me but the second I move, he makes a beeline out of there (whereas in the past I could make any movement and he would remain like a bump on a log, to a ridiculous extent). He actually doesn't spend as much time even in the bedroom anymore, as much as he used to. Otherwise, I haven't noticed any other changes in his personality or habits.

Any advice on why this has happened, or more importantly, how to lure him back?

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Comments (9)

Rudebekia
17 years ago
Well, cats are delightfully quirky creatures, aren't they? I have noticed that my cats have different sleeping areas according to season as well as mood. One will sleep in one place habitually for months or years, then make a move to another place. One of my two sibling cats sleeps on my left side, always buried under the blanket. The other sleeps on my right, but hates being covered. They never, ever, sleep on the others' side. I did notice that my very old girl who passed away last summer at the age of 20 changed her patterns significantly as she aged--whether due to arthritis or simply mood I never knew. She got much more restless at night and after an hour or two sleeping with me would go finish the night out somewhere else.
laurief_gw
17 years ago
At 13 yrs of age, it's very likely that your boy has developed some arthritis or other physical sensitivities that he didn't have before. It's possible that he's just not comfortable jumping up on the bed anymore (chairs and couches are lower than beds), and/or that the stray movements you make in bed are now causing him some discomfort.

If he's no longer comfortable on the bed, I think it would be a disservice to try to force the issue on him. Let him find the locations that give him the most restful sleep, and enjoy your nightly snuggles with his brother, instead.

Laurie
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laurief_gw
17 years ago
I just had an idea that might convince your boy to come back to bed. Try creating a set of carpeted or upholstered (for traction) steps that he can use to access your bed. If he doesn't have to try to jump on and off the bed in one big leap, he might be more inclined to sleep with you again.

It's worth a try, anyway.

Laurie
tess_5b
17 years ago
It is probably age. My Oscar (I've got one too!) used to sleep with me all the time when he was younger, but now he sleeps on the guest bed - he has his own blanket he likes to bury himself in. My other cat Barney still sleeps with me though sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night or when I wake in the morning find he 's not there, he's taken himself off somewhere. My Barney actually can't jump on the bed anymore due to age and a touch of arthritis so I've built him kitty steps at the food of the bed - just a Rubbermade two-step stepstool plus a little 10" tall padded footstool that I used to use in the livingroom for him and he climbs up those like steps. My vet has advised me that I'll probably have to build kitty steps for him in other areas - actully did buy a new low stepstool last night for himto use to get up onto one of his favourite window perches - up on the stool, then onto a chair then onto the perch. So you could try doing that and see if Oscar comes back. Took a couple of weeks for Barney to start using his steps at the foot of the bed, though Oscar loves them, he used to jump onto a low bedside table and walk over my DH's face to get over to me! DH likes the kitty steps much better!

tess
lynn_d
17 years ago
I had the same thoughts about jumping up or down but also want to ask if you are on one floor or is the bedroom upstairs? We live in a multi-level, everything is up or down 7 or 8 steps, our dear Tiffany eventually stopped coming with us to bed or the family room. She stayed on the kitchen level where her food was located, I had to add a litter box to that leve for her. She just didn't want to do the steps any longer I guess.
alison
17 years ago
I would echo all the previous suggestions, but I'd also say don't take it personally. I'm sure he doesn't mean it that way! But cats are emminently practical animals, and they usually have practical reasons for what they do, that have nothing to do with our emotions.

I know how you must miss him, tho. I never feel like I'm really snuggled in for a good night sleep unless there's a cat trying to take up the middle half of the bed....

(When I visit my parents house and leave my cat at home, their cat kindly offers "Guest Cat Services" and will start out the night sleeping on my bed!)
Elly_NJ
17 years ago
Laurief always has good ideas. Make it easier for him to access the bed.

Any changes in a cat, especially an old cat, should be noted. Maybe something is wrong and that is a symtom?
acorn
17 years ago
I have six kitties so I have "Cat waiting" since I can only sleep with three. I love their furrie bodies close to me and it saves on the heating bills. Sorry you are sleeping with only hubbie.
Boopadaboo
17 years ago
I was thinking the same as Elly. Has Oscar been to the vet recently?

Help - my kitty won't sleep with me anymore

Comments (9)

Rudebekia

laurief_gw

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