20 month Old Nursing Concerns

24 years ago

Hello,

I have a 20 month old girl who still sleeps with my husband and I, and is still nursing. I am 37 weeks pregnant, due with another girl Jan 4th. Throughout the pregnancy, my toddler has wanted to nurse more and more. At around 10 months of age, thought she was on her way to weaning because she only nursed to go to sleep at night and first thing in the morning. The frequency of nursing has increased to the point of newborn. During naps and during the night, she is latched on almost constantly, which is affecting my sleep. If I try to remove her from my breast, she wakes up. I a very tempted to try a pacifier, because I think that she is doing this for security. She hasn't needed pacifier, and I would hate to start that now. But with getting up to pee 10 times a night, and needing to sleep myself, I need to stop this behavior. I am also scared of what it's going to be like when the new baby is here, and I have to get up every two hours to nurse her.

Thanks for listening, and for your suggestions.

Cathy

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (6)

nicholed_alink_com
24 years ago
I had the same dilemma with my now 20 month old when she was about 17 months...I was definatley ready to wean and she was getting there until she got sick...then it was back to nursing 24-7. You want to know what worked for me? A trip to Grandma's house. I was sad to see my baby go overnight for the first time, but after almost a week visiting Grandma and her farm...she was weaned. She asked for "boob" only a few times and I just told her "all gone!" and changed the subject and she has been fine ever since. Good luck..I am sure it will be a bit harder if she is still sleeping with you..mine was sleeping all night without it in her own bed. Good Luck!
Mom2myKidz
24 years ago
Hi there!
First off - congratulations on the new baby coming and congratulations on making this far in your nursing relationship! And good for you for co-sleeping! If you didn't already know about the changes your breastmilk goes through then maybe it will help you to understand part of why she *might* be nursing more and more. While pregnant your milk will change to colostrum again and she may have started out trying to increase your supply which was deminishing. But that is only part of it and may be how the increased nursing started.

Part of it may be a security issue. She probably senses something is up with this new baby on the way and this is her way of staying connected to you.

Something I noticed my youngest did that you might try to start with your dd is that he would nurse, fall asleep and wake up when I would unlatch him and this was a vicious cycle. So after I realized that I was either going to have to sit there with my boob in his mouth all the time or else do something. So I wound up just holding him and within 5-10 minutes he was asleep. Now it has progressed to where I must lay him down and pat him or just have my hand on him while singing. Anyway, it's a thought.

I don't have any weaning advice cause I believe in children self-weaning so if you were looking for that, I'm sorry. She'll probably regulate herself out on her own after the baby is here.

Blessings,
Tammy-Nicole
mom to ds#1 (9), dd#1 (7), angel (97), dd#2 (3), ds#2 (14 mo) and twin angel (00)
>
Related Discussions
Horse manure 2-3 months old
Q
Comments (15)
Pic helps a bunch. Your raised beds look good, and looking at the far one it looks like you used the plastic only on the sides where the wood is. So I don't see a problem with the plastic. You simply have raised beds, not containers. At 8" depth the cardboard is unnecessary. You can just pile the dirt into the beds on the grass, on the grass will be smothered. At 8" in the near term it will limit your root depth, and may cause problems with deeper rooting plants and roots veg's. If it were mine, I'd take it out. With the soil on top of the underlying turf, it will settle over time as the grass underneath decomposes. My experience with St. Augustine is that settling will be ~ 1". With the cardboard the settling will be a bit more, maybe 1.5". Now, the grass -- it looks like you're in Cocoa Beach (zip code), and the turf looks like a very decent stand of St. Augustine. Your problem with the grass won't be the stuff in the beds that gets smothered, it will be the stuff on the outside that comes right up to the edges. It will try to find a way into those beds, and usually St. Augustine is successful (if there's any Bermuda in there it tends to be even more invasive). I would encourage to develop a turf-free zone around those beds. There are many options. On the soil - since you're dealing with uncomposted horse manure, I would suggest no more than 1" of that per bed. Add it on top of a base soil fill in the beds, then mix in in well, trying to get it distributed through the entire 8" depth. The base soil in those beds would ideally be a loam or sandy loam, if you can get it. Being in Cocoa Beach I suspect your base soil is rather sandy. You could use that (if you have some to move) along with some compost and the horse manure, but you'll probably have better luck with bringing in new soil. Check landscape supplies in your yellow pages. Final point - exposure. Don't know when that picture was taken, but the beds are in complete shade. Where do those beds sit relative to the fence -- west side, east side, etc, and what is the direction of the fence line (N/E/S/W)? The good news is you're in the beginning so with just a bit of work you can get it right and enjoy some great growing. Since you are using raw manure I would encourage you to heed to 90/120 day before harvest recommendations. Someone getting sick because you were in a hurry just isn't worth it. Be patient. Since we're already into May, and you're way down there in south FL, your timing is really good for fall planting. This post was edited by TXEB on Sun, May 12, 13 at 15:23
...See More
Concerned about winter in an old house
Q
Comments (25)
First of all, you may wish to take the second link down as it shows not only pictures of the house but others you may consider more personal. The fastest fix is to make your whole album private, and deal with getting the pics separated into a public album later if you can't do it right away. Now as to the utility bills: I believe you are in upstate NY right? Last winter (2011-2012) was extremely, freakishly mild. I am somewhat north of Albany and last winter we used only about 55-60% of the fuel we normally use. Also for the fuels that most people use (except for home heating oil) prices were affected by the mild winter as well, with both electricity and gas (natural and propane) being unusually low, so the dollar amounts on the bills may be lower than normal for the same amount of power in other years. (Residential electricity is returning to norms -i.e. rising - now.) So those factors may be the reason that the previous years' bills were not forthcoming, as the sellers may be reluctant to let you see the normal costs. Or not; they simply may have already discarded their bills in prepartion for moving- though they can probably request duplicates if pressed hard enough. And even if you can't get the bills you may be able to get info about comparative heating degree days between last winter's mildness and normal, and more typical rates and work the numbers out for yourselves. Anyway I would assume that last January's $320 cost would normally be in the mid/high $400's to low $500-ish range in years when temperatures and prices are closer to norms. Amendments or improvements to storm windows will improve your comfort but probably not make the house temps warmer, unless you are talking about solid (opaque)covers like blinds or well-fitted insulating curtains. Certain types of insulation projects may help depending on what you find there. But it may already be maxed out for space possible. The bills don't seem excessive to me if they include all of the lighting, water heating, heat, and in summer, A/C. (I have no A/C so I may be wrong about that.) We heat entirely with solid fuel (wood), but our power bills for hot water, lights and small amount of electric space heatng in Jan-March are about $250-350/mo during the coldest months. We use lectricty to heat H/W for the washing machines, but rarely use any for drying as I hang out 12 months of the year. Mostly I cook with propane, with a small amoaunt of electricity for MW and induction. I don't use a DW. HTH L.
...See More
18 month old not talking or walking alone
Q
Comments (25)
ive known as a mum that there was something wrong with my little boy since he was about 7 month and so as my health visitor shes been a rock for me and ive fought and fought to get where i am now my son is now 17 month not talking not walking not eating lumpy food it as to be purified or he will gag choke be sick its been a night mare he was 4 week prem so hes been under pediatric since birth hes had broncliolitus about 10 times hes been fed threw tube they gave him asma pumps but said he didnt have asma and ive always been pushed away like i dont know what im on about and now hes older my health visitor as been with me all way threw and managed to send us to a doctor and shes refers us straight away for a full examination to a pediatric orthopedic from Sheffield that comes to barnsley ever 2 week i think so i really am hoping this doctor helps us i will fight to the end to find out whats going on with my son and i would hate them to tell me something ive already mentioned if theres anything i could have helped him with and they didnt notice as there the professionals it wont make me feel a very good mum anyone out there with some thing similar would probably put my mind at ease sorry for going on thanku
...See More
New 7 month old Dobermann Sheba
Q
Comments (7)
Your dad's friend did he call the breeder to let them know he was getting rid of Sheba? Responsible breeders make you sign a contract when you purchase a puppy. That puppy must go back to the breeder if you need to find them a new home. They don't want their puppies being dumped off in shelters. Why would your parents even think about breeding Sheba, she is just a puppy. So many pups in shelters being PTS everyday, its so sad. I'm not a breeder but I love dobermans. They have several health problems, DCM cardio is their number one killer. Responsible breeders show their dobermans, put titles on them. Health test their dogs and study pedigrees before breeding. Do you know where Sheba came from, how long did the other dogs live, what health problems did they have, and the list goes on and on, they just don't put two dogs together just to have puppies, please spay her and just love her. I had to laugh when you talked about her leaning on you. Dobermans love to be with you all the time. They follow you from room to room and when you turn around you usually bump into them. They do need a lot of exercise or they drive you nuts. I've always had one at a time but a few months ago we got a female. They two of them play all day and its a lot of fun just watching them. I take them out for a couple of hours, no running just long walks and when we get back I don't see them for a couple of hours. Females mature a lot faster than males. I've noticed that my males slow down when they're two years old, but always a puppy at heart. Good luck with your girl.
...See More
SheliaNC
24 years ago
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am a Mother with two grown daughters and have two granchildren. The youngest being 24 months old. I am in no way putting you or any other mother down for how you raise your children. I will only tell you what I believe in and what worked for me. My oldest daughter who is now 24 yrs. old was born with a respiratory problem and I breast fed her for two weeks. She undoubtedly wasn't getting enough milk so I switched her to formula. I never let either one of my daughters sleep with my DH and myself. Both of my daughters slept in their cradle beside my bed until they were 6 weeks old and then they were moved to their own room. 24 yrs. ago we didn't have baby monitors like the parents do today. When a mother is breast feeding she can always use a breast pump to fill bottles up for her babies for nighttime purposes if she so desired. I weaned both of my daughters off of a pacifier at one week old and they both did fine. Sure the first week was very hard. My 24 month old granddaughter has been in a room of her own since she was 6 weeks old and my daughter weaned her off of the pacifer at an early age. She has been drinking from a sippy cup since she was 17 months old. She is now in a toddler bed and does wonderful. When she spends the night with us I put her at the back of her Aunts bed and she goes to sleep by herself at 8:30pm and then her Aunt will go to bed later on. All I can recommend to you is to try talking with your pediatrician about how to go about weaning your daughter from nursing.
tenyr68_hotmail_com
24 years ago
I don't have any personal experience on the matter, but from what I've seen of other women's experience, it is common for the nursing toddler to get a little carried away if there aren't boundries laid out by mom. I've heard many people pleased with the results when they simply stopped offering to nurse, only doing so when asked. A further step is to nonchalantly offer a substitute for nursing when asked at inconvenient times, or to only nurse in specific situations e.g. naptime, mornings, etc.

As for nursing all night, it does sound like it is for comfort. Since you should now be producing colostrum rather than the fattier milk, she is probably not getting the "full" signal from her belly that would normally lead to her unlatching on her own. Once she falls asleep latched on, the change in that situation wakes her up, and then she just wants to get cozy and comfortable again suckling. Kind of like when you have to get out of bed at night, and you just want to find that same cozy spot you had been in.

It seems that she may need to get to sleep without nursing to end the cycle. Perhaps if you nurse her in a chair before going to bed, then wear a tee-shirt or bra that would restrict her access to you at night. She should still be able to find comfort in your warmth and softness, but without the sudden jolt of unlatching, she should be able to sleep undisturbed. You could also try shuffling the sleeping arrangements so that she is on the other side of Dad. You could try the pacifier thing, but I imagine she wouldn't accept it, and she is old enough that her need to suck is probably not so strong that a pacifier is really needed. The trick is that she will just have to get settled and comfortable without being latched on in the first place.

That's why I feel blessed that my daughter loves to suck her fingers so much. I don't care how much I have to pay the orthodontist later, that baby can soothe herself right to sleep!

Congrat's on the new baby and best of luck to you!
katie-martinez_excite_com
24 years ago
The best advice i was ever given was to tell my 21 month old DD that i had boo-boos on my breasts-she totally got it and it ended very quickly and she was nursing all the time-all the time--the only thing with you is that she will see the newborn nursing and will not understand why she is and why she cannot. you have to just stop cold turkey-i would not give her the passy-that is subing one oral fixation for another and it will not be the same comfort as mommy-you will find that it wont really take more than a week to get her used to the idea. i stopped the passy cold turkey and my 12 month old DD got over it in less than a week and she was an addict. so it seems worse than it is and you have been wonderful so far and now it is draining to you and you have another baby coming-you can do it..all midwives and doctors told me-once it becomes annoying to me, i should stop.
earthmomred_hotmail_com
24 years ago
Hi :o)
How wonderful you have this relationship with your first child, and have persevered through a pregnancy as well :o)
You are entering the * tandum zone *...
It can become very frustarating meeting *any* needs of your child, when we are tired, ready to birth at any time, touched out etc etc etc..but the bottum line is- we are mothers, and we must still meet our childrens needs...This doesnt mean that we cant set limits to honour our own bodys, but it does mean that it is highly unfair and disrespecful to our children to refuse to meet there needs.
It is *normal* for your toddler to be strongly attached to her mama, particularily when there is a new cub coming to invade her territory soon! Assure her, comfort her, and meet her needs, and in time with your instinctive effort, your child will back off knowing that mama has not refused her..but rather taught her how to love, give, and accept her needs, and vulnerability.

Your pediatrition likely has little breastfeeding expertise, as this is not there area..( he/she may, of course, as some health care practitioners choose to attend the current conferences and educate themselves on areas outside there own specifcs) but I would suggest connecting with other lactating woman, La Leche League, or a lactating counsellor/consultant who specialises in tandum nursing, and promotes child led weaning. ;o)
http://www.lalecheleague.org
http://www.breastfeeding.com
http://www.birthlove.com

CLick *tandum nursing* in your search and connect with enlightened mamas :o)

I would strongly urge you to think twice about abandoning your baby at such a vulnerable time in her life! A new one is coming/ mamas body is changing/your breasts are changing/her farmiliar milk is preparing for a new cub..
What strange times for such a wee child..
Mother her through it :o)
Enjoy! and be well!

20 month Old Nursing Concerns

Comments (6)

nicholed_alink_com

Mom2myKidz

Related Discussions

SheliaNC

tenyr68_hotmail_com

katie-martinez_excite_com

earthmomred_hotmail_com

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US