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Parents of Toddlers

Another Potty Training Question

24 years ago

Does anyone else have a child who refuses to poop in the potty because it's "ucky"? About 1.5 months ago my 2 yo (26 months) decided to start using the potty on his own. That was great, but now he refuses to sit there and always tells me it's "ucky". The other day he pooped in his pull-ups and had a leak. He was gagging to the point that he almost threw up. Does anyone have any solutions?

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Comments (5)

nadastimer
24 years ago
I think that usually that's the case with potty training kids. Everyone we know has talked about how difficult it was to get their child to sit on the potty and poop. The children just don't want to sit for that long or they just feel it is easier to go in their pants and have you change them. What was that I read awhile ago...that toddlers often get to a point where they don't understand why they have to change the system. It worked for how long to just go in their pants and have whoever change them and they don't understand why they can't do that anymore.

I guess you could try finding those books about kids going to the potty or a movie and keep showing that to your son. Or you could always invite him in the bathroom while you're going or something and show him it's normal and that Mommy and Daddy do it? I know that may seem gross to some but figure they tell father's to show their son's that they stand up to pee to get them into doing it. But honestly it may just not be time for your son to start being fully potty trained. I've read a lot that they may be all excited about it for a few weeks and then regress back to not going at all for a while.

Guess I'm VERY lucky, though. DS started pooping in the potty first and it's been about 4 months since I've had to clean a pull-up or diaper! Now if we could just get him to be much more consistant with peeing in the potty...

~Leslie~
aileen
24 years ago
If you are really meaning using a potty. I suggest that you get a seat that fits on the toilet.

One of my earliest memories was having to poop in the potty. It was soooooo horrible to me that I would refuse to do anything. However, if I was allowed to use the toilet, where I couldn't see or smell it, I was OK. And yes, I remember gagging. And I did have "accidents" even though I was trained. Smells have always bothered me a great deal. Raising my babies was one long gag. And I refused to change my grandchilren if there was anyone else aroung. It was a family joke, that either you cleaned up yourself or you watched mama throw up.

A child that age doesn't realize that sooner or later his bowels will move. He thinks that maybe it will never happen again if he just waits long enough. this is one smell that really bothers some people worse than others.
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Well, I really don't have any great advice for you, as I have been in this situation for a while now. My son is 3, almost four. He is very good at peeing in the potty, but #2 is still a problem, at times. You may need to back off somewhat, but also keep asking him if he needs to go. Show him (alot) where the potty is if you have a separate potty or where the insert is to the big potty. My son was very open to getting big boy underwear. Maybe you could just buy a pack and make sure he sees it. B/c it's interesting how kids will do things on their own, without a mother's nagging. :) I had been begging my son to do #2 on the potty and he just refused. But, he knew where to go, and where his potty insert was (which is what he really likes vs the small potty) and while I was busy he went by himself. I just smothered him with encouraging words and told him how proud I was. So, we're slowly getting there. Michelle
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My daughter was potty trained at 22 months, and not because I forced the issue either. Once she got to where she could let us know that she had to go, and she was sitting on the potty with her clothes on, we moved the potty to the living room and took off all of her clothes. She ran to the potty when she had to go. We rewarded her with mini M&M's (only one). She never got candy, so that was a real treat for her. From that day on, she always wore panties because I'd been told not to use pull-ups for the reasons stated above. I think she had maybe 3 accidents in the following month. If we went out of the house, I also didn't use pull-ups. I put a plastic liner over regular panties, and I had a change of clothes of course. Also, the car seat was a big concern because mine is a pain to clean, so I'd lay a waterproof pad in it before I put her in it. Anytime she said she had to potty, we ran to the bathroom no matter how inconvenient it was. I remember going into some store bathrooms 4 times before getting out of the store. I think she just liked to see new bathrooms. Poop-This was a problem for about 2 weeks because she had trouble with constipation from the time she was an infant. She didn't like to poop, and she tried not to. She must have thought it's hurt worse on the potty because she would ask for a diaper when she had to poop. I gave in for the first few days, but then I decided that if she knew she had to poop, then there must be a reason that she wouldn't. I figured she was scared. I still had to put her in diapers for naps and bedtime, and she would actually wait for those times to poop. She would also wait until she woke up, so she didn't have to sleep in it. I wouldn't rush to change her when she did. I'd try to wait 10-15 minutes. When I did change her, I'd let her flush the poop down the toilet. We'd say bye-bye to it. I'd always tell her that the potty was where she should do that, and that if she did, we'd do a really special dance called the potty dance, but she couldn't see what it was until she pooped on the potty. I also told her that she'd get two big cookies if she pooped on the potty. She never got cookies either except from Grandma, so this was exciting to her as well. One day (within the two weeks from starting to wear panties), she went to the bathroom and pooped. We danced and had cookies! Also, anytime before that when she would pee on the potty, I'd try to get her to poop by telling her to push way down in her back. I had a friend tell me that. I think some kids know that they have to poop, but they can't figure out how to make it come out on the potty, but rather they wait until it is on it's way, and then can't make it.
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My son was very easy to train for some reason, maybe it was the way I did it so I will share with you some of the things I tried. This may sound gross, but he thought it was cool to see that mommy or daddy had pooped, and he wanted to do it to. Not at all times but I would show him how big mommy was when she did it, and make a really big deal out of it and celebrate, we would clap our hands and sing. He thought it was the greatest and wanted to do it, too. When he did it he would get a snack or sometype of reward. Of course he grew out of it and started to do it all on his own. I would show him that even our cat does it too, but in the litter box. I guess it just kind of cought on.
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trekaren
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I used these little cushiony seats that sit right on the big potty. I got one at Target. I also let DD pick it out so she'd feel some control over the situation. Books helped - I kept a selection in there for her. The flushable wipies also help make it a more palatable experience for all. During training, she was also more comfortable if the fan was on (she saw mommy use the fan and wanted to use it, also). The only problems we ran into was when we were out, 1) no cool insert for the seat and 2) no fan.

We had #2 accidents off and on for about 6 months, and then boom, she was 100%.

By the way, the old wives tail about leaving them in underwear and if they have an accident, they'll hate the feeling and start to use the potty? Didn't work with my kid. She just walked around with the mess there. Every kid is different, sigh.
apoem
24 years ago
We had that problem with my son. We just went right back to diapers. Diapers are easier to change than it is to clean up messy pants and carpets and so on. We did the book thing and the video thing and the showing how it is done thing and the talking thing. After a few months we just tried underpants again and it worked.
User
Original Author
24 years ago
Thanks everyone. DS is back to sitting on his potty again. He decided it on his own. He had a stomach virus Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I guess his pull-ups felt so bad that even he thought it was better sitting on the potty. We had a lot of accidents this week because of the virus, but DH and I got him on the potty when we could and rewarded him as usual. He is pretty proud of himself.

I'll keep some of the other ideas in mind for later though. Thanks again, Adella.

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