I survived, but not unscathed. Some didn't. The saddest funeral I ever attended was for a little boy I babysat; his mother didn't secure him in a car seat. He was thrown from her car and killed when a drunk driver hit them. When we had children I knew that I could not protect them against every bad thing, but I could take reasonable precautions. My mother didn't want to be inconvenienced by having to use car seats for my children, so I solved that problem by not letting them ride with her. Once I was 10, my parents rarely knew where I was during the summer or on weekends, since they played golf frequently. Sometimes Mom would forget to leave the spare key in its hiding place and I'd be locked out. If I had money I could ride my bike 3 miles to the DairyQueen to buy a Coke, but if not I'd get a drink from a neighbor's garden hose. There were worse consequences of their inattention, but I won't go into that here. None of us worried about sunblock, although we did use baby oil to keep from drying out while we baked. Everyone in my family has (or had) skin cancer, as do many of my friends. The ones who continued baking as adults now have skin that looks like tanned leather, dotted with light spots from the removal of melanomas. There was a lot of underage drinking, as well as a lot of partying by some of the parents, but I was too afraid of mom's beatings if she caught me drinking so that was postponed until college. Back then, the legal age was 18 in many places. There was also a lot of pot, in the schools as well as at the beach. Some people experimented with hard drugs; a few had very bad results. One dear friend, who was in my honors classes in high school, was artistically and musically talented while his siblings were focused on science and math; that didn't go over well at home. He self-medicated the emotional pain, then spent the next several decades in various psych hospitals. My mom nagged me about befriending a certain crowd at the country club, not knowing that the most "popular" kids were also the biggest dealers at the beach. In college (a good Jesuit school), the drug of choice for most students was quaaludes and I'd guess that at least half the students indulged in both pills and pot. Keggers in the Quad were common Friday afternoon events, with various student organizations hosting a party almost every week. Despite the lack of restrictions on drinking, there were other strictly enforced rules, and several girls from my dorm were sent packing for having guys spend the night. The guys' dorm was much looser, and RAs looked the other way when girls were there after visiting hours. I never saw a pregnant student on campus, but I did know/know of several girls who suddenly transferred to the state school back home. This was before folks knew about HIV, so physical barrier precautions were scorned and the Pill was popular. My last roommate graduated a semester early, filled with deep hatred toward all men and a nasty case of genital herpes (which freaked me out, naive as I still was.) It seems like people were less informed about drug interactions or concerns about mixing certain Rx drugs with alcohol. A friend died because she didn't realize that she should not mix alcohol and her Rx. The authorities guessed that the combination made it difficult for her to recall if she'd taken her proper dose and she accidentally over medicated. I know that some warning labels seems like too much CYA litigation prevention, but I wish the health care industry had shared more information with patients sooner. My husband grew up in the midwest, and his experiences or recollections are worse/scarier than mine. His family lived in an affluent bedroom community of a large city, and all of the kids attended various private schools. He had a devoted and loving mother but she was so busy with a very large number of children that she couldn't have supervised all of them adequately even if she thought it necessary. It just wasn't common for parents to be so involved in the '60s - '70s, for better or for worse. The kids did enjoy a lot more freedom and seemed to become independent sooner, but there was a downside as well. Underage drinking was one problem, but drugs were much worse. When I look at my children's generation, I wonder how many of their medical and behavioral issues are related to their parents' drug use. When I got to college, I was stunned to learn about the extent of drug experimentation (cocaine & LSD, among other things.) So I am one of the lucky ones, just because I'm still alive. But I have scars, both emotional and physical, that will never completely fade. I tried to find a balance between being too lax and hovering with my own children, but what I thought was being prudent was seen as overly protective by my parents and in-laws. Yet my kids still climbed trees, rode zip lines, shot pellet guns, went white water rafting & kayaking, flew in ultralights, tried snow skiing & snowboarding, etc., and I have plenty of grey hairs to attest to their exploits. ;-)

Oh, this is such a hot button for me! I am a retired/disabled paramedic who spent over 20 years working on the ambulance in the streets of Atlanta and then several more years in the ER and PICU at one of our large children's hospitals. During that time, I saw countless infants and children who were severely injured or deceased, simply because their parent was too lazy/stubborn/ignorant/etc. that day to put their child in a PROPER child safety seat. It is so very sad to see a parent lose a child in ANY situation. It is especially difficult to see it when you know they will have to live with the guilt for the rest of their lives. One thing that really frustrates me, too, is that many parents do not know that it is not just babies and toddlers who need to be restrained in a safety seat. ALL children should be in a safety seat until they are AT LEAST 80-100 pounds AND 4'9" tall. MANY parents don't know/understand this because in many states it has not been made into law. However, in order to keep your child as safe as possible, they must be restrained in a booster seat until they are big enough to fit properly in a regular seatbelt. Seatbelts are specifically designed for ADULTS ONLY. If a small child is in one without a proper safety seat, they can be decapitated by the shoulder strap that is sitting too close to their neck, they can have severe pelvic/abdominal injuries due to the ill-fitting lap belt or they can be ejected if the shoulder strap is placed behind their back, which many children are taught to do. MANY parents do this, not knowing that it completely renders the entire seatbelt non-operational as it interferes with the mechanism of how it is supposed to work. When I was still working with EMS, I was also a member of SafeKids of GA. SafeKids has SO much info about Child Safety, especially Child Safety Seats. Here are a few links you all might be interested in: (They also have pamphlets, posters, etc. they will sent you.) Car Seat, Booster and Seat Belt Fact Sheet Find A Safety Seat Inspection Station I hope things work out for your family and that your brother and SIL decide to do what is right for their precious little one! Blessings, ~Addy~ Here is a link that might be useful: SafeKids USA

poolguynj and other PB's thanks again for the quick follow ups and feedback on my questions and concerns. currently the PB still has his maintenance guy coming over daily to check the chemicals, brushing etc. and adding chemicals as needed. PB said that he would do that for about a month before turning it over completely to us for maintenance. natural one, thanks for your comments on the pool build. the PB was actually there for all of the stages and on site a quite often so we felt that he was on top of everything from beginning to end. as fari as the drains, personally it doesn't bother me and kinda like the contrast but that just me. what actually bothered me more was the color of the pool cleaner, it's white with a white hose and when i asked about it our PB said that to get the black one, it would be about 300 bucks more. uh, i decided the white one didn't look bad after all! also, we had a landscaper come out last week and give us a bid for some landscaping behind the pool. it was over 6800 for landscaping that i was not even going to be able to see since the back beam is raised.....i nearly swallowed my gum when he told us the price. so we are thinking now that we will reduce the size of the bed directly behind the pool, but add perhaps some windmill palms on each end to give it some character and instead, add some beds on each end of the pool so at least we can visually enjoy some of our expenses! the sun came out today so hopefully i can post some pictures this afternoon. Thanks again everyone!!!!

How do we, any of us, really know the truth about what happens to this car seat over time? We know what we are told by those whose profits are rooted in the industry. I am not advocating putting our children at risk, but let us not be naieve about how manipulative lobbyists can be for a consumer prouduct. Having anxious parents continuely buying new car seats is very profitable. Singer sewing machine company started this back when they offered a trade in for your old machine when you bought a new one. The old machine was still good and they did not want you passing the machine down, so they collected them with trade in value and destroyed them. Amazingly , a number of them survived. This was an early marketing scheme. Please dont paint me as someone who would put any child at risk. And, yes, I do realize that sewing machines are not saving the lives of children. I am not advocating a cavalier attitude towards child safety. However, it is quite evident that one cant put total trust in any baby.child product . Just look at some of the recalls and law suites that have happened . Some awful things had to happen for some of these recalls to be enacted. But, it would not be the first time that an industry got a law enacted to its benefit. That is what lobbyists do. A good example is the seat being renedered as unsafe after a minor accident that did not involve the seat. As for the seat belts....we use the seat belts in our cars and dont give a though to the notion of them being in the hot car. Those things last forever....quite literally. I saw an article in the media this morning about the state of Maine and the efforts to shift the resposiblity of disposal and recyle to the makers of the products that pose so many problems. Maybe car seats need to be made in some other manner than they are currently or the producers need to be held accountable for providing a means of retiring the prouduct. It is not child safety that I am questioning. However, the fleecing of the general public can be nowhere as strong as it can be when a parents fear is part of the equation. That is one of the most compelling marketing incentives that exists. I dont believe, for one minute, that the marketing gurus have not figured that out and used it fully to their advantage. I shudder to think of the old way that kids rode in cars. We used to ride up in the back window when I was a kid. And, my kids had no car seats in the mid 70s. I am not saying it was as good thing . Clearly it was not safe at any speed. But, this way of going about it is unsustainable. We need a better car seat. We need the industry to do better. Our children are going to have an awful environmental lot to deal with. Both their old car seat and their poopy diapers will still be sitting in a landfill long after their child hood has passed, along with all the old juice boxes and plastic straws and plastic pouches that once held some artificially flavored yougurt of dubious value other than the fact that it had a licensed character printed on it. If it were just car seats that we are dealing with, that would be one thing. But, we are dealing with mountains and oceans full of waste of all manner. I really do think that we could deal with the more important things, such as this, in a much more effective manner if we were not so burdened with such frivilous consumption as we are engaged in. The whole world could live better with less.