i just started quitting smoking. Today at 11 noon it was my second 24 hours without a cigarette. I am 39 and have been smoking since i was 13. I didnt smoke a lot as a young teenager but was almost to a pack a day by my early 20's. The last time i went 24 hours or more without a cigarette was when i was in bootcamp when i was 19, otherwise i havent been 24 hours without a cigarette for 20 years. Recently i started having a bunch of health problems after being relatively healthy - i guess it was just luck since i didnt take the best care of myself and on top of that i smoked. what happened is that back in december (it is now march 2004) i got cellulitus on my left leg. Took antibiotics and it healed. A couple of weeks later i got it again on my left buttock and also treated that with antibiotics, before that one was healed another small on started right near that one but i took another course of antibiotics and it never got really bad. A few weeks went by and then i got another on on my right side in that area below the buttocks thats not quite on your hip or thigh. That one was a bad one and i took antibitoics for it. that one had barely healed and two more flared up. one right near the one on my right side and another on my left buttock. these weren't progressing as fast as the worst ones i had and i called my dr and she begged me to not take anymore antibiotics because she said too many can cause some kind of bad thing to happen in your digestive system or your colon or something. anyway these two havent been getting much worst so i havent taken the antibiotics even tho i am scared because cellulitus can get into bone and blood and kill you or so i have heard throughout all this i have also had the flu or flu like symptoms twice when i havent had a flu in over 17 years i had an ear infection and an inflammation of the eye from something hitting it this last time i had the flu i had a fever of 101 for 4 days and right after that the 4th cellulitus started on my right hip i also developed a small cough with hardly anything coming up but lots of wet sounds when i tried to breath deep i also found out recently that my uterus is so full of fibroids that it is the same size it would be if i was 3 months pregnant and have been having a lot of pain with menstruation and mild cramps pretty much constantly i just visited a womens center last week and they want to give me a hysterectomy since i wanted a tubal ligation anyway they told me my cough was probably something called smokers cough and it can become chronic i am scared to death right now because i feel like something is really wrong with me so for many reasons i decided to give up smoking i asked my boyfriend to help me buy the 21 mg patches and slapped one on and now i have been almost 52 hours without a cig an indian healer who is a friend of a friend recommended i start drinking turmeric and applying it to the cellulitus and i went online and read about it and found out it also has awesome antioxidant properties so right now i am going to start drinking a teaspoon of powdered turmeric in a cup of milk twice a day and also have been taking hot sit baths in it i am a recovering alcoholic - 15 years sober as of this month 2004 and i just sat and thought about what i want and what i am doing - my brain says dont quit smoking now there is too much stress but when isnt there stress? yeah the patch is helping - i hardly crave at all but now and then i get hit hard with a craving anyway - well since i am wearing the patch i know its not a real chemical craving it is just my brain and habit yeah a cig would be really comforting for me right now no doubt but will it fix anything? no just like drinking never did so i havent set any goals for myself i dont even care i just want to try to quit smoking one day at a time cuz every day without a cig is a day without a cig but i can say one thing for sure my sense of smell has already improved i use my empty dry cat food bags for trash by my computer and emptied my ashtrays in it and i have sat here with it for 4 years and it never bothered me - today as i was reading these forums i had to take it outside - it smelled so bad my taste buds are already better- everything i am eating tastes richer and fuller - i dont know how to explain it even and even better i tried to take a deep breath earlier today because i still have a little gurgle in my lungs but no coughing and i was expecting a lot more stuff to be coming up then what is so i took a deep breath to try to make myself cough up and as i sucked in it kept going and going - i guess i never realized how shallow i have been breathing all these years i was almost frightened by how deep a breath i sucked in i am hoping and praying that quitting smoking will help my body have a chance to start repairing itself and for my immune system to be able to start fighting back with all these problems i also wanted to quit smoking because if i am going to have surgery to take out my uterus i want my body to be as healthy as it can be one thing i know is that i didnt really want to quit smoking and i dont think i ever would - i kept waiting and waiting and finally with all this happening i just realized that waiting any longer is going to kill me and i dont want to die i just started a new relationship with a guy who is younger then me - even tho i never liked younger men but i am convinced he is my soul mate and i dont want him to have to deal with me and a bunch of health problems or me dying young and i certainly dont want him taking in my second hand smoke then dying from lung cancer anyway pray for me if you believe and if you dont believe pray anyway cuz psychology is finding now that beleif in something greater then yourself is almost critical to emotional health i also threw away all my ashtrays cuz in the past i kept them in case i started again but screw that and i have gotten rid of anything that smells like smoking or tobacco and aired out the house because those are triggers i am also going to avoid ppl who smoke for a while also another thing thats good about the patch is in order for me to have a cig i have to take the patch off and wait a few hours so i dont have a heartattack and right now a cigarette isnt worth suffering in withdrawal for, for 4 to 5 hours so the patch helps slow you down i am planning on doing the entire step down program tho i may try the lowest patches first after the two weeks of these sorry for the long post and if you are trying to quit smoking go read about turmeric - it doesnt taste that bad and i am a real wimp when it comes to bad taste and also i think you can now get it in pill form good luck to all of you trying to quit - just do it - and use anything you need is what i say - i am eating anything i want i rather gain ten pounds then die of lung cancer or emphysema

On smoking... ready to go there again today. Man, the body wants to just smoke offhand and by nature and avoid trying not to something fierce. Day before yesterday it just went out of my mind for hours but that will not be so. There are NO meaningless ciggys. Michelle, I'm so glad you know someone who tried acupuncture with success. I had wondered about that. I think I will go after my trip, maybe before! I had a great acupuncturist that helped by back a lot but not enough to justify the unfortunate cost. Short-term issues I'd definitely try with him! Pete, you are 100% right, I know from my dad's experience with AA, and from how darned addicted I am. I don't think I can EVER handle one after I stop. Nicotineless, OK. OK for a long while anyway, I appease my addict brain. Msjam, Happy Happy Chantrix Dance! Oh, I'm hearing such good things about that drug; it is great to hear from an observer of a bad addict. Yes, my appointment with my doc is soon, and I'm definitely trying that. Thanks! vjcamp, Congratulations!!! It slipped up on me, too... hanging out with my club and punk friends and I guess we thought it was cool but not consciously. Eventually I couldn't NOT smoke in my parents house fighting with my BF on the phone. I was a goner after that. Senior year and now half my life!!! Susan, congratulations!! Hey, roses baby, always roses or decor. Right now it's more expensive to quit and there's something very wrong with that equation! I'm trying to be conscious of every cigarette, definitely, and remember all the bad. Foghorn, congrats on two counts!! Yeah, no 'just try one' for me... hey I thought when I started that I'd never get hooked!! April, 12...man! Congratulations!! I hadn't even thought of the fact that I will be so proud, but I will. Good motivator there. Thank you! Debra, so good to see you!! My Ex quit pretty easily, but he did not have nic fits like I get. Unfortunately, it's not just the gnawing craving but I literally get sleepy, confused, etc. I am trying to take the UK trip as the big step RE quitting. I don't know that I can go all the way, but I swear I will stop all but the most 'crucial' of cigarettes. I'm afraid to try more with all the work I have to do there :( Hopefully the Chantrix and change of locale will allow me to go farther... we'll have to see! Hoov and Sue, I am so sorry about your fathers. When my mother was in the hospital she asked me to quit smoking [she was dying of cancer but never smoked] and it pains me that I could not stop for her then. It is indescribable how strong a hold cigarettes can have, and I am so sorry that y'all had to be hurt so by that. It is a very sad thing, and infuriating that we smokers don't 'get' that when we smoke the first one. Cupshaped, Strength to you!!! If it helps, you can imagine a day, a YEAR [!!] without a cigarette, so you will succeed! Remember the bad, the hurting of folks and yourself... you are RIGHT THERE. Do they have Chantrix in Denmark? Worth a try! However you do it, keep it up and the best of luck!! Julie, good luck!!!!! What I have read about Chantrix, 'you ain't seen nothin' yet'. I hope so! One drag is excellent going in to it! Keep up the good work! Remember there are nicotine-free cigs out there, non-nicotine inhalers to drag on.... let me know if you need me to send you a couple; I'm stocking up!! Hopefully my QT watch comes today, the doc appt is soon, and I'm thinking of my UK trip as an exciting venture in many ways :)

THANK YOU Brandon for an answer to the pruning question!!!! Will be sure to keep the cuts above ground level!! And to clarify what you and Ken are saying about a view to the utility boxes- ...actually, forget it... I just typed out a huge long explanation that I just deleted...lol ...in short (or @ least shortER) with the height of our deck and where our seating is located, the size of the smokebush, and my intentions (clearly understood at least in my own head- haha) don't worry guys, I'll be fine. I always envisioned a multi-stemmed tree, which would still hide the view of the utility boxes. ...don't think I will end up trying to do tree-form after all but do plan on pruning off many shoots and thin the boy down! as always, i appreciate the input from you all :)

Hi Liz Marie, Yes, this DD is the very same :) We have met his family, the part that lives in this state. His family seems genuinley excited about the baby, his mother says the baby should live with her out of state until he is ready to raise her. The dad (who lives 2 blocks away) is tickled pink with both DD and baby, but doesnt get along with BF. Both his parents were shocked when they found out that he has gone to 2 OB appts, and neither of the hospital runs. DH has always been a 'let it go', laid back person was rather upset with me for the accidental texting, and initally said this whole blow up is my fault. He had talked to BF who puts on a very different face when Daddy is around. I had DH read the text message BF sent me, then had him listen to the voice mail I received today (which was not even remotley polite). DH is no longer convinced I am the one at fault (except for that damned original text). DH feels that BF is controlling, but just needs to grow up. He at one point was going to ask BF to stop coming over but decided we need to all try to 'get along' because BF will be part of DD life forever. DD decided not to put his name on birth certificate, he will have to petion the courts after he gets his DNA results. Because she is (Hopefully) close to delivery, DH and I decided that when BF comes to check on her, visit, whatever, for the time being, I will just leave the house to keep the peace. FIL is here to make sure she is safe (BF likes to yell at her) so with me gone, tension will be reduced. She does plan on nursing, and stress does affect it. We just honestly are not sure what DD rights are once GD gets here regarding the father. He has already threatened more than once to take custody Tracystoke-Quite frankly, my drink was a cup of black coffee, my preferred 'drug' of choice. While texting myself does actually sound childish, it is technique I learned from the CEO of the #3 Credit Union in the US who mentored me for a few years. While at the time, writing on paper and putting in a drawer was the preferred method, with todays technology, I simply use my phone. I went back and re-read to see if I was slanting the story in my favor. Asking for help on an inaccurate situation would help noone, least of all DD and GD. I have done alot of soul searching in the last few months, since BF first told me I am a 'control-freak'. Honestly, I have to say, I am not. I am not a perfect mother. I offer advice, sometimes when it isnt asked for, I give opinions, whether my kids like them or not. I set rules, and try to enforce them. When my kids make mistakes, sometimes the consequences really suck, but they pay them. Sometimes, so do her father and I. When my children are at stake however, there are no boundries. When a 26 yo impregnates an 18 yo, calls her a tramp, accuses 3 different boys who have been 'brothers' to her since the age of 5 of fathering the child, criticizes her job, her friends, her AA program, her values, then begins to tell her how to make her life 'better'. I cringe. When a household that for the last 10 years has been filled with laughter and bodies of first adolecents, then teens slowly empties after his arrival until he, and his friends, are the only ones who come by, I have to wonder, am I truly the problem?