help...my daugther's 7 yr old best friend is too bossy
kmcw
16 years ago
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plasticgarden
16 years agolivvysmom
16 years agoRelated Discussions
lemon tree does't flower 4 yr's old
Comments (16)MikeMeyer, said: "The truth is, NO one has come here since I have been a member, and proven to us that a seed grown container citrus can produce flowers or fruit within less than 10-20 years, unless I missed it." I have grown a lemon, a Key lime and calamondin from seeds. The lemon bloomed at 5 years old and I donated it to the local botanical gardens to sell while it had small lemons on it. It was about 6 feet tall and sold for $50. My 5 year old Key lime had a few blooms and set 5 limes in 2008 and in 2009. In both years the limes were lost during early summer thunderstorms. I have high hopes for next year. A calamondin seedlings I gave to a friend bloomed after about 4 or 5 years. I have seen other Gardenweb posts which described similar experiences. What I present is anecdotal information which may not be irrefutable by Mikemeyer's standards, but it is true....See MorePics of 1 yr. old plummies grown under lights in winter
Comments (26)How long? About 3-4 years. I can't remember. I let this ensete die because it was so big. I didn't dare take it outside during the summer months because the wind would break it off. Because of this, I couldn't flush the soil with water to flush out salt build up from fertilizers and other stuff in my hard water, so it eventually went down hill. I just put it outside to finish dying a week ago. However my other 3 that I put outside during Summer are down stairs in my unlit, unheated basement room in dormancy. In the Fall, I cut them down to 5-6' stumps, repot them in 15 gallon nursery pots, and stick them in the basement till next Spring. They have large thick "trunks". I do this every year and they come back to full beauty in the Summer....See MoreNeed you help on how to care for ailing 82 yr old who does want t
Comments (7)It's been a couple of weeks since your posting, so I hope you've been able to follow-up on some of the good advice you've already received from this list. I will add to the other comments that your SIL should ask about a speech pathologist. I think Medicare/Medicaid should provide this. They can help with his eating/chewing difficulties. Also, there are medications (Megace, Peri-actin --not sure about the spelling of those) that act as appetite stimulants. Loss of appetite is something that often happens to the elderly. Probably the other issues -- cancer, radiation, loss of dentures are complicating the situation. He might be depressed too, which causes a loss of appetite, or it could be the dementia. In any event, if they can give him some medication to stimulate the appetite, and have him work with a speech pathologist to assist with chewing difficulties, likely he will feel better. All of the symptoms you listed CAN stem from vascular dementia. The body is a finely tuned machine, and when you have a "break down" in one area (such as the inability to chew or eat), it can often act like a domino effect in leading to other problems. My experience in taking care of my 84-year old father has taught me not to wait for the doctors or caregivers to make suggestions for my father. Instead, if I see a problem, I research it and bring it to the doctor's attention REPEATEDLY until he/she addresses it. My father had SEVERE anemia and the doctors were really dragging their feet. Finally one day my Dad said to me "I don't think they realize how bad I feel." I called the doctor and they finally took my Dad seriously and admitted him to the hospital, and he needed a transfusion of FOUR units of blood. Then, he wasn't eating (likely a result of the anemia), and the doctors were fully aware he wasn't eating, but they didn't seem to offer any advice. Then I learned about appetite stimulants and asked the doctor about it and they said "okay" let's try that. Now he is eating very well and he is feeling much better. So, tell your SIL to ASK, REQUEST, BEG, do whatever to get your BIL comfortable and healthy. Mary...See MoreHelp with my daugther and our relationship
Comments (20)I do agree that it might be time to seek professional help. The mother-daughter relationship is known to get more stressful in the teen years, and based on where you are starting, that's not good. In the meantime, I have a suggestions. Start a communication journal with your daughter. Like a 2-way diary. You start by writing a note to her in a notebook, journal, whatever you want to use. End with a question for her to answer. Rules: 1. She can write anything she wants to write. 2. But you cannot write anything negative. I know it's not fair, but that's how it has to work. ;o) 3. Each entry, from both of you, must answer a question and ask a question. This needs to be a safe place for her, so she can write anything she is thinking. But she needs to know that every time she opens that journal she is going to find supportive words you wrote about her. (A girl might have days when she just needs to read those words over and over again.) Make your first entries about your favorite memories of her, what about her makes you proud, what she should hear about herself that she might not hear every day. Make your first questions to her benign, open-ended questions, nothing too deep until she starts to get more personal with her entries. Follow her lead. So start with questions like "Who is your favorite teacher, why?" or "Describe the character from a book who is most like you." Other questions that might give you insight into her thinking, "What was the best and worst thing that happened this week?" "The things I wish my mom understood about me are....." "I just hate when this happens...." "My favorite day would be..." "I am thankful for ..." Ask a variety of questions that will give a chance to think about the positive, as well as vent about what upsets her. Make a positive comment about her answers, but do not judge them. Let her know she can ask you whatever questions she wants to ask in this journal. Write every couple days. Answer her quickly, but give her a couple days to answer you. When she starts in verbally with attitude, suggest that she write it down then you will read it. That will make her think it through, and calm her down. She is allowed to leave the journal with you and leave the room, she doesn't have to stand and watch you read it. In fact, it's might be best sometimes if you are not together, then you cannot speak out without thinking it through first. I think this will be good for both of you. It will make communication less confrontational, it will give her a place to vent, it will make you stop and reflect on the qualities you treasure about your DD, and it will put those positives right in front of her face, to read over and over, boosting her self-esteem. When the mood swings happen, stay calm, speak in whispers, focus on the immediate behavior not past behavior or generalizations about her character. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Use a sense of humor. Before you say a word, think to yourself what message you want to send, not just what is popping into your head in anger. Fewer words is better. Something like a word for every year of age, plus or minus a couple. My DD is almost 8 and has her moments already, too. She is not as extreme with me as you describe (yet). Her teacher says she "wishes every student were like her." But DD saves the mean streak for home. She will demand my attention when I'm otherwise occupied, pitch a dramatic fit over homework that I know she can do, give me "the look" when I ask her to do a chore, pick on her younger brother out of boredom, and all those mean stunts. I feel like we're at a fork in the road. I can control what direction we take by how I respond to her "tests." I try to teach her self-calming techniques. I tell her to go outside, get some fresh air, write, read, listen to music. I know the behavior she is capable of, so I expect it as much as possible. No one is perfect, though, we all have our meltdowns from time to time. But we don't have the right to impose our meltdowns on other people, that's what I want her to learn. I remind her make HERSELF proud of her behavior. Sometimes I ask "What would you say to a friend who acted like you're acting right now?" Once, when she was whining about something or other, I told her "Whine louder, cuz you know it helps." She stopped instantly, confused, and said "No, it doesn't." Good answer! So why are you whining? Now I tell my kids that every time they whine. They will say it to other people who are whining! LOL! Geez, that was longer than I planned. Hope something in my rambling was helpful. Good luck!...See Moretrekaren
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