First of all, thank you all for your thoughtful comments. Not much to report, really. First an almost-funny but not really aspect of the visit... earlier in the afternoon DS said to me, "They're not going to stick that q-tip thing down my throat are they?" I said of course not, that's for strep. Again, he is the best kid, never a drama queen (older DS has that job), but he has this vomiting phobia which includes a huge fear of that strep test because of the gagging issue. He has had strep once, and has had the test maybe twice, but it was so traumatic! And PS the last time he had it done was at least 5 years ago and it was a huge ordeal. So, we went to the doctor -- who was not our usual doc, but one we haven't seen before -- and explained the situation. By then DS was beside himself, could not get comfortable in the exam room, kept going back and forth to the bathroom, etc., while we waited in the exam room for the doc to show up. Doc examined him, noted that he has gained something like 15-20 lbs. since Oct. (he has also grown about 4-5 inches since then), and sees that he has a low temp of 99-point-something. So he says, "It could possibly be strep -- sometimes the only symptom is stomach upset. We need to do a test." And DS loses his mind. It was almost comical but not really. It took a good 20 minutes to get him to cooperate. It was ridiculous, really. And again, this is my kid who gives us NO trouble, ever, so it's just weird to see him act like this (tears, refusing to open his mouth, acting like he's going to leave the room). Anyway... after all that, the quick test was negative. (I was actually hoping it was strep so we could show him that the test was worth doing! Not to mention an easy fix w/ antibiotics. So, basically the doc said there is a stomach bug going around (as well as strep), and that is likely what he has. He said to call if it gets worse, of course, but he thinks it will resolve itself. He didn't seem overly concerned about the on-and-off minor stomach issues that I mentioned, but I also didn't press the issue because frankly, after the Huge Drama over the strep test, I just wanted to get out of there. My plan now is to see what happens over the next few weeks, especially as school gets closer. He's going to high school in Sept., so I'm thinking a new school may mean some anxiety and we'll see if stomach issues come up again. If so, we will make an appt. to see his regular doc and talk about what to do. What I think, knowing DS and observing him all this time, is that he gets nervous about things sometimes. Older DS has major anxiety issues and is very vocal. Younger DS probably has some minor anxiety issues but he is not vocal about them at all, so he stuffs it inside and it affects his stomach. Then he has this vomiting phobia which compounds the original problem, because then he's afraid of vomiting, which makes him more nervous and thereby makes his stomach feel worse. I could totally see it yesterday. When he was home, he seemed OK -- not eating much, still going into the bathroom occasionally when he thought he might vomit, but basically OK. When we got to the doc's office, I think he became even more worried about vomiting in public, so he was antsy and going back and forth to the bathroom every 5 minutes. While I was watching him, I realized he was acting the same exact way in the airport in June when he was feeling sick. We were in the security line and he was convinced he was going to vomit and his whole demeanor was exactly the same as in the doc's office... and he never did throw up. And he was totally fine by the next day. DS is sooo much like DH in almost every way -- they look alike, they act alike, and I suspect DS has inherited the adolescent stress issues that DH had at the same age. DH confirmed last night that he was the same exact age when he started getting really bad migraines. They stopped after a year or two. Maybe it's growth/puberty related? He has been growing like crazy -- as I said, about 4-5" since last fall. Anyway, I will definitely keep an eye on him and by the way, he slept through the night last night without getting up, and is still sound asleep, so I suspect he might be feeling better today. I still can't be sure if this particular stomach issue is really just a little stomach bug, or if it's anxiety about camp, but either way, hopefully the 'bug' will pass within the next 1-2 days, or the anxiety will pass once he gets to camp and gets into the routine there. (Camp is only an hour from home, so worst case scenario, we can run up and get him at any time.) Then I'd like to visit his own doc at a time when DS is actually feeling okay, so he's not emotional or just feeling ill, so we can talk about the whole situation. He actually has a physical coming up in Sept/Oct so that may be the perfect opportunity, unless things get worse before then.

Just a funny story about cell phones, that happened to me, last year. I was a supervisor in an examination at my DS school. It was a serious exam and about 100 students where in the school hall, nervous and anxious. They had all been told they must leave there cell phones (in Australia we call them mobile phones) on a table near the door. They where also told they must be turned off. Well half way through the exam one of the phones on the table starting playing a stupid song, ringing. I rushed over to the table and frantically looked through all the phones, trying to stop the noise. I finally did that, but students where restless. Then to my horror I realized about half the phones where switched on ! There must have been about 90 of them. So I spent ages, and ages, turning them off, all these different phones. Some I just could not work out how to do it, as I am technologically challenged to say the least. So next exam, I made sure, I stood near that table and said in a big lound voice "make sure they are turned off, please!". Phones, stressing me out ! Popi

Russ, I think men can write "girl books." Herman Wouk's Marjorie Morningstar is very much a girl book, I think. While I know they are not great literature, a number of Gothic suspense novels have been written by male writers under feminine pseudonyms -- I guess the thinking of the publishers was women prefer to read Gothics by what they think are women writers, which I think in the case of most female readers is bosh. A number of female writers have written quite effectively in the traditionally male bastion of war stories. Olivia Manning's recounting of the Battle of El Alamein in The Levant Trilogy is every bit as good as any male writer's, and Pat Barker's The Regeneration Trilogy is much lauded by both male and female readers. However, whatever the inroads female writers have made, I'm afraid that there's a certain segment of male readers who will pass over their books simply because they are females. An androgynous name, such as Barker's, has probably pulled in some unsuspecting male readers. As for the classics you mentioned, Russ: Tolstoy's and Flaubert's books -- even when their protagonists are women -- are more likely to be read by men than Jane Austen's novels are. Anyanka has already talked above about this disinclination of boys and men. I know present male company is excepted, but it's hard to say it's untrue of male readers in general.

Come to think of it BV, that sort of relates to the theme of this post and my advice. Mom and I were very close and shared a lot, so I am pretty confident of what she would have done, what she did, etc. I always tell folks, "I know what my mom would have wanted since she told me." And that's my advice, listen and ask questions and get to know folks while they are alive. Make the memories while you can. Reminds me of an old "Doonsbury" cartoon that came out at the time of the initial offering of the "Roots" mini-series, and there was a thread about one of the characters searching out and researching their roots. They went on and on about all the questions they had about their grandfather and how they might find out the answers, and the other character said, "Why don't you just ask him . . . " But this I think is something you don't understand until you wake up one day and all the potential "question answerers" are gone, or outgoing. http://www.gocomics.com/doonesbury/1977/03/10