I do have a lot of thoughts about this, probably because both my kids walked away from their main activities that they poured years of their lives into (and thousands of our dollars). My kids both had very good reasons, and I understood, but still it was hard to watch. So off the top of my head, and perhaps I'm wrong, here's what I think. I'm just somewhat concerned with his decision because this kid lives and breathes football! I have never pushed him into doing any sport, but he has a natural aptitude for FB and I'd be sad to see him walk away from it and regret it later. On the one hand, yes it sounds like he has an aptitude for football, and it's been his passion for years. On the other hand, He's a decent, solid player, great on the line, but definately not the "star" player due to him not putting 100% in most things he does. He definately has the abilities. Sounds like football's not the passion it used to be. I've seen many kids at the point where it sounds like your son is, not just in sports but in music, academics, etc. There comes a time for many kids where it's just plain gut check, hard work time. If they want to up their playing level to run with the big boys, they have to up their work ethic. I've seen many kids drop out of their main activity around this age, because they just don't want to put 100% into the activity. I think that's a valid choice - it's one I hated to see my own kids make, but it was a reasonable choice. Your son may have lots of reasons for quitting rolling around in his head. The issue of moving may definitely be a factor - is he moving to a more competitive district where it would be harder to start? If his passion for football is starting to slip, perhaps he is looking ahead to when he has a job and less free time. There's that old joke about boys this age - it's the age when the "fumes" get to them - you know, the per"fume" and the gas "fumes". Driving and dating, jobs and girlfriends start to take over their lives. My husband always encouraged Boy Scouts to get their Eagle before the "fumes" hit. Unless you think the teasing is just way out of line, I wouldn't worry about that. In my experience that's just the way of boys, particularly boys in sports. They're very competitive, and yes they're going to rag on a boy who they know is not giving 100%. Your son has probably been seeing that kind of teasing for years, and may have even dished some out himself. It sounds to me like the bottom line is that your son could lay it all on the line, give 100%, work hard and have a shot at the varsity. He's not doing that. Either he's afraid to try and fail, or he doesn't want to work that hard. Either way, it's something he'll have to decide for himself. My husband is a big fan of pushing kids to give 100% and stick with something they're good at. I'm not. My opinion is this with my kids - as long as your grades are good and you're responsible, doing your chores and doing what you should do, then your free time is your own as long as you're doing something "good". I think these young years are golden times for kids to explore their passions and try new things - now before they have full time jobs and families to take care of. The only thing is that if my son was in your son's position, I'd hate to see him quit football because of the moving aspect. If your son is moving to a new school district where he doesn't know anybody, it would be good for him to step into a sport. He'd have a niche and a good way to meet people and make new friends quickly. But then again, keep in mind my son went to a high school with between 3 and 4 thousand kids. Finding a niche in a big school like that is important - it helps keep kids from getting lost in the crowd. If your son is moving to a small school, that may not be as important. I know you must hate to see your son quit the activity he's worked so hard on, particularly now when these next 2 years "should" be his glory time. The best you can do is to do what you're probably already doing - emphasize that exercise and fitness are lifetime goals, and when you quit one form of exercise you need to take up another. Help your son look for lifetime fitness hobbies - biking, swimming, running, weight-lifting, tennis, etc. Make sure he's substituting healthy activities for his football time. Make sure he's not quitting because of hazing, or some other bad reason. The only other thing I'd keep in mind is this - my kids distanced themselves from activities and people that I was very surprised to see them avoid. Years later I found it was because those kids were getting drunk, or doing drugs, or acting cruel to other people, or the culture that group was fostering was arrogant and rude. I wish you and your family the best, particularly your son. I moved out of state my junior year of high school and it was tough. It wound up being wonderful for me in the long run (I would never have met my husband if we hadn't moved), but it was sure hard to do. I hope your son makes wonderful new friends when he moves, and I hope you love it there, too.

popi We are Christians and wanted a Christian education for our kids. What I have found out though is that many of kids at this school put themselves on a "I am a better Christian than you are" pedestal and judge very harshly students that don't follow their lead. My son is more outside of the box. He skateboards instead of playing football. Listens to harder rock "Christian" music than most and is does more his own thing. We are far from wealthy and don't run with they parents who are and who have seats on the board or contribute extra money to the school. My older daughter had the same experience and she left the school. She told me that the kids that got up on stage and professed their love for and commitment to Christ were the meanest, most two faced and hardest partying kids at the school. She never fit in either. I have a concern of being able to get him to school when the weather is bad since I will have to be driving SD10 to school if he goes else where. The drive to the school that we have chosen, should he go, is about 20 minutes without snow or ice. That is something that we have to discuss. My DH says that he will find those types of people at the other school and not like it there either. I agree that he will find those types of people there but since the school is much larger he probably won't be with them the entire day nor will the mold that he is expected to fit into be so strict. I want to meet with the principal and see what they have available to address his learning disabilities. I need to speak to his special ed teacher at his current school and get her honest opinion about it. I emailed her today but have not heard back from her. I will also talk to the super at his current school and let him know why my son would be leaving and that he should take a hard look at what is being learned there about being a Christian as apposed to what is being taught. I think it's a shame.

WOW...This makes me very glad that I have a supportive man. It isn't the fifteen year olds fault. She is being a normal fifteen year old. I mean it doesn't HELP that Bio-mom is planting poison dartrs in her brain but teenagers in general can be monsters. I know cause' I use to be one:) I gave my BIOmom hell poor soul. That's another story, back to mister father of the year. He NEEDS to support you. It doesn't matter if this child is a step or blood....kids LOVE to play parents against one another. There is just more chess pieces to play with when there are Step parents involved. If daddy puts the foot down with princess, and I don't mean be a ruthless jerk but just lays down the boundaries, the behavior will stop. I think parents like dad feel guilt over the divorce or working long hours or not getting little Suzie that pony when they were five or whatever so they over compensate by letting the kiddies get away with out right murder. This is a horrible dis-service to the children because they never learn to except "NO". Unfortunatly for them no is a staple in the real world diet....Dad is setting up his daughter dearest for a ruff road if he doesn't help her understand that "YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WAAANT". That Mick Jagger knew what he was talking about.

Hi Jenn, Wow! I almost could have written this about 4 years ago. Many details are the same: depressed 15/16 year old (that started out cutting herself), then a suicide attempt, and bipolar & borderline personality disorder ex-wife. Eek! You have my heartfelt sympathies so my first advice is DON'T FEEL ALONE! :) and you are not crazy for feeling the way you do. It's hard for the best dad in the world to make up for the possible inherited emotional makeup and the influences of a psycho ex-wife. I dated my boyfriend for 3 years before we got married; after each being divorced once and knowing how hard it is to make blended families work we wanted to be careful. He had custody for 9 months out of the year, the mother had the summers. Most of our problems came to light after we were married. After the suicide attempt the SD stayed 9 days in a psyche hospital for troubled teens. My husband and I were blamed by some of his family and the ex-wife for his daughters problems. Her caseworker at this hospital was horrible as the ex-wife had convinced her we were the root cause of it all and I left in tears one day. Had he not stood up for me to his family I very well may have taken my son and left. But, he did stand up for me and he is a good, good man so we are still together and are now empty nesters. My second piece of advice is counseling - for everyone that will go; you and your boyfriend and especially the SD. But be careful, we had some bad ones during our troubles so make sure you get a good one. Don't be afraid to try another if the first one doesn't work. I guess it boils down to you weighing out what your relationship with him means to you, keeping the welfare of your daughters in mind of course as it seems like they are still young. Sounds like you jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire, so to speak. Not fun. However, kids grow up and (hopefully) start their own lives, so are you better with him or without him? My last piece of advice is pray. Pray and pray some more! Ask other people to pray for you and her as well. And find someone to talk to - a counselor, minister or the like, not just a friend. There is hope. Now at 21 my SD is really growing up and maturing. She has gotten off her anti-depressants and is beating her depression. She has moved away which means she's also far away from her mother who tends to cause problems. We have been taking small steps in the last year to building a new relationship and we are making good progress. Good luck to you!