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usedtoknowitall

Very sad about parenting

17 years ago

I was looking for some help from people who have gotten through the teen years with their children. I have three teenagers and one younger son. The oldest two are step daughters and the other is my oldest son. All I can say is they are basically good kids and i am thankful. The oldest moved out after some drama and there is little or no relationship with any of us. She is a loner who likes life in the fast lane. The next oldest is 17 and insecure. She can be promiscuous and just wants to make friends with anyone. She is stubborn and wants to have fun. Finally, my oldest son is very popular and active in sports and social life. He mumbles and knows how to make me angry.

I am basically saddened because they seem so ungrateful and just plain are take, take, take. I can't trust them very much to follow the rules when I am not home. I can't go out of town and leave them for fear of lots of things. Can anyone leave their teenagers in their home? Can they trust them to follow the few simple rules? I am lost because I have no personal experience. I was brought up by my mother in humble surroundings. I was not faced with any of these situations. I can tell you that I could not imagine the antics they pull. I was very responsible and mature. ( My mother will be the first to tell you ;O) I just am so sad that I feel like I always have to look over their shoulders. They seem to resent everything. God forbid we can all be in a room without drama. I just finished an 8-day vacation from hell...not entirely their fault....but they made bad situations even worse. I don't understand it? I love them, but am firm. I am strict, but not rigid. I am loving, but not dopey. I guess I am trying too hard. My husband just asked about having another (I am 38) and the thought of teenagers just makes me want to scream!!!! I lead by example and try to show morals, values and respect. I am not a goody two shoes, but I lead a very respectable like. NO drugs, drinking or craziness. We do tend to yell a little too much, but there is no abuse or violence. Sometimes I can;t help but be disgusted. I will admit that I don;t have many problems other people face and should be thankful their are no police cars (yet). But things are relative, and I am just tired because I am trying to figure out what we are doing wrong!!!!!!!

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