I haven't seen this movie yet but I've read all the books. The earlier books are definitely age appropriate for a 9 year old but the later books are more appropriate for somewhat older kids. I think that as Harry ages, his readers should also be aging.

As far as her being upset for you to question her decision, it is NOT in fact HER decision. As parents, it's not only your right, but it's your duty to make those kinds of decisions for your child. Whether she agrees with that or not, and whether she agrees with your decision or not, she still needs to respect that, and abide by your decision.

You know, it really doesn't matter what other people think about Harry Potter; If you and your husband don't want your MIL to take your son to see it, that should be all that matters. She should have no say in trying to convince you that it's age appropriate or not. You are the parents; she needs to respect your decision.

By the way, my son is close to your son's age and does not enjoy Harry Potter in the least bit. He was scared by the first movie. Oddly enough, he sees plenty of PG-13 movies and has never been scared by any other ones. I think the fantasy element is a little hard for kids to grasp. Yes, if kids are able to only watch HP as a cartoon, it may be ok. Even Spider-Man is easy to understand as being pretend...but HP meshes reality and fantasy and I think it's hard for kids who like to really think to always draw the lines in the right place. I personally don't think it's a good series to push on kids for that reason. There are better true stories and there are better fantasy type series/stories out there too. Again though, it really doesn't matter what "I" think. You are the parents; he is your child. Go with your own gut on everything you let him view.

Wow. I'm sorry this turned out to be long winded even for me. I might have set a new record for myself. I'm really sorry, so quit reading if you get bored.

I saw the current movie Wednesday with my kids ages 13, 10, 7 and 5. I've read all the books, with my kids, and seen all the movies. I disagree with the review you mentioned. It is not the darkest of the movies. The 4th movie was the darkest so far, it is also the darkest book. Of all the movies so far, I found the 4th so have the most pontential to scare children. In this current movie, the 5th, Harry is a teenager, with all the emotional mood swings of a teenager. The only "full blown rage" is probably what any teenaged boy in any movie might express when meeting his parents' murderer (well, probably less than is expressed in most movies with that kind of situation). He is vengeful, but self controlled. He is not on a rage. He is confrontational and questions authority. He is equally rebellious and heroic in this movie. He is not accused of murder, that is an exaggeration of the story line. He is *accused* of repeatedly lying, that is a factor in his anger, that he is discredited by some. He is accused/tried for using magic outside of school -student wizards aren't allowed to do that. ;o) He does not murder anyone. Like all the HP movies, it ends with Harry forced to duel/battle in magic with the dark wizard who killed his parents. Some die in this finale duel, good and bad guys, but Harry doesn't kill anyone. In the final battle of good and evil, the evil wizard who killed Harry's parents "possesses" Harry's mind/body for several minutes. That's FYI, in case that degree of magic crosses the line for you. The evil wizard is unsuccessful, Harry is able to fight off the dark magic with knowledge of love and friendship, goodness and happiness.

But, I also disagree with MIL that they are just like a cartoon. They are not, the images are very realistic. Magical and mythical creatures are brought to life. I asked my 7 y/o DD, to do my "homework" before answering here, what she thought the scariest part was. She said it is how scary and mean looking Voldemort is (the dark wizard who killed Harry's parents). The theme and tone are serious, though there are some laughs, it's not a comedy. It's dramatic, that's what makes it unique for a young adult series of books or movies.

If I were to compare this series to anything it would be Star Wars. Each series might interest a completely differet group of kids, some will go for aliens and some for wizards. But there are similarities. The magic Harry Potter learns to use is like "the Force" of Star Wars: some are born with the ability to learn it, some of those learn it better than others, some of those use it for good and some for evil. One duels with wands, one with light sabers; one races brooksticks, the other "pods." Harry's character is similar to Annikin or Luke Skywalker, Voldemort is your Darth Vader character. (Though JK Rowling has said Voldemort is not Harry's father, she's been asked. LOL) Even though the setting is quite different, the themes, tone and conflicts of the two stories are the same. Good vs. evil, but also youth struggling with loss, destiny vs. self determination. As far as how the movies are done, I think the level of action and creepiness is also comparable.

If you feel Star Wars is appropriate for him, then Harry Potter is, too. If you nixed Star Wars for now, you'd probably want to hold off on HP, too. If you're undecided on Star Wars, I'm sorry, I've only added to your questions. ;o)

As for the parenting side of deciding what is right for you own child, that is your call. I've backed out of a decision I made for DS#1 once (had nothing to do with HP, it's a whole other story) and just said "I'm sorry it doesn't seem fair, but I've realized I was making the wrong decision and it's not too late to change the direction. It's for the best."

What is it that made you and your DH "not fans" of the HP stories? I know adults who just couldn't get interested, and some who are just skeptical of the hype, and then of course the whole magic issue. Considering that you've allowed him to read/watch this far, I'm guessing it's not the general issue of magic that concerns you. If you were OK with the others, I would say there is no major change in the morals or ethics or evilness to this movie from the others. It's not as cute as the first, though it has cute and funny moments. If it's just not your cup of tea, I can see that, so maybe it's a good thing that he has this common interest w/his grandmother. I mean, as boys get older common interests with a grandmother can be very rare!

Obviously, I thought it was appropriate for my own kids. But I'm trying to be objective and give you information, not tell you what to do. I think it's very reasonable for a parent to say "Hold off til I get more information and/or see it myself." I would think MIL knows that deep down, she was just put off by the surprise of being challenged. If you only see this movie and aren't familiar with the books or the story leading up to it, it might seem out of context and generally leave more questions than answers about the story and plot. But I'd think you could still recognize acceptable and unacceptable content by your definition.

I hope something in my rambling made sense and helped. I really did try to be objective and just call it like I saw it, but I have to disclose that I am a huge fan of these books. I enjoy the movies, but the books are really SO much better, so much richer. I am one of those freaks who will be at the bookstore at midnight next weekend with my kids, the ones who can be up that late without whining (our 4th midnight release for Harry Potter books). But not quite freaky enough to be there in costume (probably not, anyway). LOL.

I'd tell you to ask me if you want to know anything else, but if you made it this far I don't imagine you want to risk asking me anything ever again for fear I might not shut up. ;o)

Stephanie...you certainly are an authority on HP...lol...and I did read all your post!

To the OP...perhaps you could take your cue from your son..is he keen to go to the movie ? Does he like reading the books ?

If you are not sure, then don't let him go, but maybe you could just go along as well, better he sees it with his parents.

I have been to all the HP films with my two, now they are 15 and 20, they have both grown up with HP, and love him. The films are long, though.

I agree with others who say that your authority over your child is the one that counts and your MIL has no place to undermine that.

Let us know what you decide, and good on you for being so concerned about what your son is exposed to.

I remember when my DD was 13 we had lots of arguments about the movies she was allowed to go to, and a lot of her friends would go to totally inappropriate movies. I stood my ground !

PP

My 10 year old son just saw the movie with his grandpa. I did not let my 6 year old daughter go however. He is a sensitive boy and can be easily scared and he said he liked it - as he has seen all the other movies in the series and has read all the books. He has the final book on order...

I have read the books also, as I want to find out what my kid is so into - and found I mostly like them. They do get darker as Harry matures and the series goes on - which is my one complaint about them.

I liked the first 2 books (and movies) best. I did not see "prisoner of azkaban movie".

Thanks for all the info. from everyone. Stephanie, I truly appreicate all of the insight. My husband and I have decided to go see the movie this weekend and then make a decision if our son can see it now. We did offer to get the book from my MIL and read it with him and talk about is as we went to be sure that he understands what is appropriate behavior and what isn't along with things that are real and made up. He said it wasn't that big of deal to him, he just knows his Grandma likes it really well. I feel this is one connection they have between them so if we feel it is healthy for him, we will most definitely encourage that for him and to help nurture his relationship with his Grandma. It is somewhat of a relief knowing that the big deal isn't with him as much as with my MIL-this way if we decide it isn't appropriate he won't be so upset.

If he has seen the other movies with his grandmother and liked them and wasn't frightened and he is older now than when the first movies came out....I really don't understand why you don't want him to see this.
I have found the Harry Potter books and movies make it very clear who are the good guys and who are the bad and what sort of behavior is appropriate.
If kids never see any examples of bad behavior, I believe they may have trouble in the real world being duped by bad behavior masquerading as good.
Harry Potter and Star Wars are really just cowboys and Indians in a new guise. Good guys against bad guys, good guys get in scary situations and have to battle the bad guys, but the good guys always win and the bad guys slink away, muttering threats, so there can always be a swquel.
Linda C

Yeah..but the difference is most kids know and understand that the characters and situations in "Star Wars" are fake...they are from outer space, doing things the kids can't dream up, and Darth even looks and sounds like a bad guy.

But, when you have a story about kids, in this decade with kids that look like your friends in situations and schools that look like the kids' schools and houses, etc...well, it becomes harder for the kids to draw the line as fantasy. Please remember, kids are kids, not adults; they do not think like you. Just because you as an adult 'gets it' doesn't mean these younger kids do.

I take my kid and his friends to movies a lot and I am amazed at what they 'think' the plots of even the kid movies they see really are. Even where they laugh is inappropriate at times, etc. And, I am amazed at why they like or don't like certain movies; it is hardly ever for the reason you think. They do not always pick up on the good and evil; and may really be confused about who the good and bad guys are and what happened in the movie. My kid's friend was crying during "Zathura"...to this day I still don't know why..it was not even a scary part.

Let me put it this way...I would ask your son what the Harry Potter movies he has seen were about (look up the plots on Wikipedia). If he tells you the correct story, then he is at least understanding them (still, you could have some cause for concern), but nonetheless, at least you know that he is grasping the plots correctly. But, if he explains to you some story that is really no where near the plot and/or focusing on one little unimportant aspect then maybe the stories are too advanced for him. Try it....ask him.

My gut instinct just tells me that most movies that are entertaining to adults just aren't suitable for younger children, and I might add that most movies that kids like should generally bore adults. Sorry, but our minds just don't take in the same things the same way. Keep kids young and innocent as long as you can; believe me they see and hear enough evil in the news, etc... There is really no benefit to being exposed to the good/evil in HP movies early on. It's entertaining at best....but, then again, so is a public lynching, doesn't make it right for your kids.

Don't go along with the crowd (or you MIL) just to go along. I'm sure it's just my son's school, but the two kids that happen to be into HP are the two violent ones. Not sure which is feeding which...but I find it odd (well, ok, not really). There's a lot more harm a movie can do to a child than just frightening him especailly if he's too young to grasp all the concepts, and even then you could have some problems.

My 12 year old saw it yesterday and said "it stunk."

I went to see HP on Saturday night with my DS(15).

In Australia the classification is "M" which means the film is recommended for ages 15 and over. I don't think its suitable for a young child, it is a bit scary in parts.

I thought it was good, but I did fall asleep in parts !

Not trying to influence the OP either way here, but I do have to comment on a couple of things carla said.

First of all, her idea of asking your son about the plots of the previous movies is excellent. It will really tell you what he's getting out of the movie, not only if he understands the plots but if he gets the characters, and their motivations.

I agree that kids definitely interpret things differently than adults. Things that are crystal clear to adults can easily come across as muddled and confusing to a child, simply because s/he lacks the life experience to understand some situations.

I don't agree that all kids movies should generally bore adults though. I've seen many a "kid movie" that intertwined jokes that only adults would catch without detracting from the story line aimed at the kids. In fact, IMHO, that's what makes a good kid movie. I don't mean sexual innuendo or anything like that, just things that adults might find amusing or entertaining that might go over a child's head. When a movie that is meant for kids actually appeals to all ages, it's a hit. When it just appeals to the kids and leaves out the adults, no one goes to see it. Example: Aladdin. You gotta admit that a LOT of what the genie (Robin Williams) says is going to go way over most young kids' heads. But while that doesn't take away from the movie for them, it definitely enhances the entertainment value for the moms & dads (and adults without kids!) who go see it.

Again, not trying at all to influence the OP, but I have to defend HP by saying that I wouldn't think it fosters violence in kids. I'm not sure how you can jump to make the association between HP & these two kids at your son's school. There are millions of kids out there reading HP that are not violent, I know plenty of them. There are plenty of influences available in our society which do foster violence, I won't get into that argument, but I can't agree to put HP in that category. Just MHO.

Yep, connecting Harry Potter to violence in kids is underestimating the issues that really do contribute to youth violence. The only connection I see among kids who are Harry Potter fans is a high reading level. Besides, the protagonists in the stories really are good kids, even if they are not always obedient. They are bright, try to study and do well at school, love and respect their families and want what is right and best for their friends. They may not be pacifists, but they are not violent. They demonstrate character traits that most parents would want to see in their own children.

It really comes down to knowing your kids. There are cartoons I won't let my kids watch b/c it makes them behave badly, gets them all wound up and inspires stupid antics. But Harry Potter stories are really a part of our family. On long car rides we listen to the books on CD, it is the one DVD that we can put in and make everyone happy, all age kids and parents.

So taking my 5 y/o probably sounds very young to most people. But he would really have felt left out if I had taken the other kids and not him. He's seen the other movies at home, he's heard the books when I read aloud to his siblings. He knows who the characters are and even a few spells. ;o) I also knew he would not be scared. His birth order makes him hard to scare and hard to trick. LOL. He was not scared by the movie, but he was bored by slower parts. He does think it is just one big magic show and when they aren't doing magic he's restless. My 7 and 10, and of course 13 y/os do understand the conflicts and choices the characters have to make. Their understanding varies by age, and grows as we talk about it.

After talking to my kids I can say with certainty, though, they all know who is on the side of good and who is evil, and which characters can't seem to make a decision. I stand by my comparison to Star Wars as far as how morals and values play a part in the plot, conflicts and choices, and in the character types. The plots of both stories involve fictional politics that young children won't understand, but makes it more dramatic for older kids and adults. Having seen all the movies of both series, I believe the movies have equal potential to frighten the squeamish.

So, my3sons1, have you seen the movie and made a decision? Either way, I respect your right to make choices for your child and your desire to make informed choices. You know your son better than anyone else.

Ok, I'll say it....

I'm not directly connecting HP to violence, but I think there may be a correlation between parenting styles of those that allow HP for younger kids and those that don't. It is exactly the misguided "my kid is so smart he can read HP when he is 5 so I let him" and "I don't really care what he watches as long as he is out of my hair" attitude that often goes along with other bad parenting types that include raising violent children. Obviously, it's not across the board, and there are violent kids who can't read, but from the few HP fans I know, it tends to hold true.

You are so wrong! It's your opinion and you are certainly welcome to share it with others even though it's unsubstantiated.
Experts agree that one of the main causes of violence in kids and teens is lack of education and the availability of weapons and drugs....that is weapons like guns and knives not magic spells, and a ray of light coming from a magic wand.
The reading ability of 73% of kids in detention facilities is below agerage. a correlation can be madbe between reading ability and violent behavior.
It takes substabtial ability to read a Harry Potter Book. Most 7 year olds will only get 3/4 of the story. What they will get is that therer are good guys a bad guys. And the bad guys stir up trouble for the good guys who then fight back using their minds. Not fists, guns, knives nor bazookas...they just use their minds a what they can do.
In my opinion, that's a powerful lesson!
Linda C

Here is a link that might be useful: reading ability and violence

I do not claim to know all that is right for other parents and children. I do know what is right for my own children. The Harry Potter stories are a wonderful journey I am taking with my children. You should not read into my decision a feeling of wanting my children out of my hair. If my 5 y/o could read the books by himself, though, I would let him. I do let my kids read anything on our bookshelves that interests them. As an English teacher, my bookshelf is quite diverse and challenging. Some of it may need guidance, but that's a parent's role.

Carla, I can't be certain, but nothing in your posts makes me believe you've read these books or seen the movies. You don't even seem to know anyone who has. You seem to be making some misguided assumptions about the books, movies, and the people who share those with their children.

HP books are a great series to get the younger set to enjoy reading (along with the Chronicles of Narnia and Eragon books). They are well written and hold both children's and their parent's attention. All members of our family have read them and have seen the movies.
Carla if you think that because we let our kids read and enjoy HP at a younger age that makes us poor parents just because of your friends lack of parenting skills....you definitely need new friends to get a real perspective on why there is violence in these kids. It doesn't come from reading Harry Potter or watching Star Wars ect., it comes from bad parenting...period. No guidance or input to the children, not fantasy books. Both our girls have a love of reading. They are very diverse in their selections. Fantasy being their favorite read. Our oldest graduated high school with honors and is off to college in the fall. Our younger daughter is in honor courses and can be found with a book constantly. They didn't turn out violent our fascinated by guns and knives, they don't like fighting and prefer to settle their differences diplomatically. Reading Harry Potter and violence in kids....I don't think so. That's a pretty far fetched correlation imo. NancyLouise

the misguided "my kid is so smart he can read HP when he is 5 so I let him" and "I don't really care what he watches as long as he is out of my hair" attitude

Whoa there! Parents who let their kid read books at a high reading level because the child has an accelerated reading ability and parents who plop their kids in front of the TV to keep them out of their hair are in two VERY different categories. Not to say that there aren't parents who do both, but I'd say that those are few and far between.

Kids who can read beyond their supposed reading level don't just do that on their own. Love of reading is fostered and encouraged by the parents and the parents have to give the kids access to these books. I'm not saying that no kid can read beyond his level without the help, or that parents who help are guaranteed a child who can read beyond his level. What I'm saying is that it takes a combination of both, and I'd argue that the vast majority of kids (I mean kids who are not otherwise disabled) could read at a much higher level if their parents would do the things which encourage reading.

That includes reading to them at a young age and when they are older, having them read to you when they are able; visiting libraries and letting kids pick out books they are interested in; turning off the TV and video games and giving kids an opportunity to entertain themselves; discussing books they've read, and yes, challenging them to read books beyond their level.

Kids who have the opportunity to read books beyond their level have a better chance to love reading because they are exposed to new and interesting words and ideas and plots which make them WANT to read more.

I agree with lindac who says that it's far more likely that a child who can't read will turn to violence. And I still think most of these kids who can't read have trouble ONLY because their reading skills were not properly fostered by their parents & teachers, not because they lack the natural ability to learn.

I have two boys, age 20 & 17, both of whom are avid readers and have been since they learned how to read. So I feel that I have a basis from which to speak regarding kids & reading, oh, yeah, and reading beyond their level, which both of my boys did practically from the beginning.

Carla, I can't be certain, but nothing in your posts makes me believe you've read these books
Yeah, I'd kinda like to know the answer to that question too. And I'd also like to know what other influences these violent kids you know have in their lives.

Interesting discussion although we certainly strayed from the OP's questions. my3sons1, did you go see the movie? What was your decision in the end?

Friday night I saw long, long lines of kids with parents waiting outside Barnes & Noble bookstore. There were parties at some bookstores--people came in costume. They were eagerly waiting for an opportunity to buy (at full price) a book! As a former schoolteacher I have to say in this day of electronic devices and television --thats a major accomplishment. Do you have any idea how few kids in my classes( I taught over 20 years ago) even went to bookstores?
When I went to Costco, I saw parents and teens buying the book and several were reading it standing in line. My husband is reading my copy because I put it down near him.
It probably isn't for young kids. Most of the t.v. I see young kids watching isn't for them either.
People are reading something that isn't about sex, the mafia and marital infidelity. No swearing either. Its a fast moving book. The reason the book publishers all turned it down except for Scholastic was that they thought it wasn't of interest to very many people. Not what they usually publish is what they said. That's true.
The reading level is quite high and the vocabulary isn't watered down. Parents and teens are both reading it, and talking about the book. Beside the Bible when have you ever heard kids talk about something they were reading with their parents and friends.?
Should little kids go to the new movie--maybe not. Certainly as a parent you should preview the movie and decide for yourself.
If your kid is too little now--one good thing about a book is that it will wait until your child is ready for it.

My son 15, is on his second reading of the latest book ! We bought it at 10.30am on Saturday morning...it came on sale here at 9.01am (I am in Sydney). He had read the whole book by 12.30pm Sunday, and then proceeded to start reading it again. Bless him !

Funning thing is...in the shopping centre, we where walking back to the car, and I gave the book to him to carry...but he didnt want to hold it, then, he must have felt a bit silly, but soon grabbed it when we got into the car.

The best thing about HP is seeing my children reading it not just once, but many times over. Its brilliant.

All due respect to Joanne Rowling for encouraging so many children around the world to READ.

PP

Read the deathly hallows - in order to see if it was appropriate for my son to read. I think it would be appropriate for an older child 10+ or a mature 9. About the same as the last two installations of the story.
Lots of non-described violence though and some important characters die - as you likely have heard by now. I WON'T spoil it for anyone though! Just a Mom's opinion.