As harsh as it may seem, she's made these decisions and you can't change that. You also can't change the future she has created by those decisions. You've indicated that she does not want to let anyone know exactly what monies she has available, so you really don't have an accurate picture of her financial status. As long as other family members offer to take her in, there's not much you can do anyhow. You're not going to change her, so save yourself a lot of frustration. She is who she is. If that means that her "golden years" will not be what you would have wanted for her, so be it. You can't control her or her future, but you can prepare for your own future. However, as other forum members have indicated, she is eligible for Social Security. This should help her support herself. And if she truly has very little money, then she could get herself on a waiting list for low income senior housing.

Thirty was happy for me. We were able to adopt our DS after six years of marriage and surgery that left me unable to conceive. This year has been an uneasy one because my mother died at this age -- in October. It was an awful year for her, slowing dying of leukemia, and for me as her only child. DH had mixed feelings when he reached the age at which his father had died of a heart attack. Because DH had never been told he was adopted, and because all of his father's brothers also died of strokes, he'd been allowed to assume he would have the same fate. (Another example of his adoptive mother's nature.) Now DH has lived 25 years longer than his father did. And ding-dong-the-witch-is-dead.

Thank you again for all the recipes and well wishes. As long as berries are in season, I will continue to try them out. We have a parade of guests scheduled to visit through Labor Day who will be grateful to sample them ;) I ended up going with Olychick's Fresh Raspberry Glacé Pie. I had a barely-worked, perfectly crimped crust in the pie pan ready to chill before baking. I tipped it sideways over the sink to brush off a tiny bit of flour that was on it and..plunk..it plopped out of the plate. I made a quick save & caught it in my hand but reworking it back onto the plate made it look less than perfect. Nonetheless, it was delicious and met with rave reviews from my family who came to celebrate!

Well. I didn't get a wine Safari! But a year and a month (or two) AFTER my 60th, DH and I finally went to Lake Geneva, just as I hoped for last year. We went to a different part of the lake than the tourist town, but had a nice sandwich (seriously, hands-down THE best chicken wrap I ever had, FRESH-cooked chicken, I watched him slice it, at this little hole-in-the-wall spot) walked a bit of the lake path, some fabulous ice cream, then drove around the lake. It was so nice, though I didn't get my shandy on a patio. So, since it's only an hour or so away, I went a few weeks later with a girlfriend! We had lunch and a shandy overlooking the lake, shopped, and just had fun. Happy Birthdays to all!