estrangement from adult children
There seems to be a very common thread with all these postings - adult children, that have come from (in most cases) normal upbringings, had most things given to them, including money, but have still turned out to be unappreciative, nasty adults. My eldest daughter is exactly the same. I swear, she hates me. From a very early age, she has verbally abused me, if I said something was black, she'd say it was white. I often wondered who was the adult, her or me. I felt useless when being with her, and as a result, felt like a nothing. She moved out of the house a couple of years ago, and only really visits on weekends to pick her younger sister up, to visit her on weekends. She has had a boyfriend since May 2009, and moved in with him last April. She has given me a couple of things, lately, only to take them back, with the last one, gave it back to me the next day, only because I reminded her little sister, that I was deeply offended by what she had done. I have reminded her on a couple of occasions that she is two-faced, which is something her brother has also told her. She wouldn't dream of treating her friends the way she treats me, but she still does it. She lacks any kind of conscience or empathy. I remember, earlier this year, breaking down on the phone to her, sobbing uncontrollably, because of the way both her and her sister completely ignored me, and went out shopping leaving me in a big house on my own, not caring if I lived or died, and all she could say was that she had no time for this (me crying about being left alone,) the girl has no soul. Has it ever occurred to any of you, that all these problems are a direct result of all the adults (kids) having a mental disorder, more over, they are all NARCISSISTS!! I am actually going to a psychologist next week, just so that I can learn some skills on how to best cope with all the crap, mind games, conniving, sneaky and devious things she does. Theyre very good at throwing the ÂbombsÂ and running away before they explode, hoping never to take the blame. She does things that she knows pushes my buttons, she knows I will react, and waits till I confront her with whatever she has just done, will deny them all, knowing full well that I will explode, and then she can say to herself, and anyone else that will listen: "See, she's the crazy one, not me." That's what all Narcissistic people do - push you until you think you are the crazy one, or everything that has gone wrong in their life, is your fault, never theirs. I have always apologised to her for yelling at her, after she has upset me, because, in my mind, someone has to do the adult thing and try to put things right, but it has just occurred to me, that she has NEVER apologised for causing the problem, that made me yell at her, in the first place. They are unbelievable Â narcissists, they think they are always right, and everyone else is wrong. This is what I'm getting from all these posts, that these brats have never apologised for discarding their parents so easily. Both myself, and her father have bent over backwards-giving her everything she wanted (that's probably where all the problems began,) but she has shown absolutely no appreciation, at all. IÂm now convinced that she has taken us both for granted. I am also of the belief that she is also brainwashing her younger sister, because she's not as nice as she used to be, but that could be the 'growing-up' process, but considering the disgusting e-mails they send to each other, maybe I am right, that she is getting sucked into her vicious web, as well. It's embarrassing to admit to, but I, like a couple of other posts IÂve read, have wished I never had her, more to the point, that she was dead, that way I know the problem would be over and I can mourn, and eventually, as with all deaths, that person, just becomes a very distant memory, with some people you will always miss them, but people like her, youÂre just glad not to have to interact with them ever again.
IÂve even ripped up some of her photos, because IÂm so furious with her. A couple of weeks ago, when she came to pick up her sister for their usual weekend get-togethers, she started on about this wonderful job, sheÂd just landed, and that she will be getting more money than the one, sheÂs just left, and how her boyfriend had also landed another job, before leaving his partnership to start with another firm, where he will be earning $140,000 per year Â brag, brag, brag. She was so excited about it, and went on and on for a long time Â the most sheÂs bothered to say to us for a very long time, and nothing about how we were going Â selfish, as always. SheÂs said nothing to us since, and as usual, doesnÂt bother to ask how weÂre going. If thereÂs nothing to say about herself, then she doesnÂt ask about us. I just shake my head in disbelief, how utterly selfish she is. I even sent her an e-mail, at the beginning of the week, where I asked her a question but she didnÂt bother to answer it. Just another way of ignoring me Â it just never ends.