I thought I was alone

15 years ago

I can not beleive I was not alone???. I have a 24 year old who is married to a man who has hated me for years why? Not good enough for him- I was overweight and poor- I have a grandaughter I do not see- I have 6 other kids I have no problems with. YES I made mistakes some my doing many not - I was a single mom to for years and i spoiled her to much I think but now not matter what I do it is wrong- I walked out on a birthday party that I bought everything for- drove 3 hours to get to because her husband is just mean- I then wrote a letter and let everything out- so what was a bad relationship got worse now we do not speak at all I leave messages once in awhile about my love for her- but unless I am willing to grovel and beg ( which will only get me a call back once in about 3-4 weeks after I have begged 20-30 times) I can not even have a five min. phone call- no birthday - christmas or anythinging calls to me- i send gifts they go unrecognized- once she called crying that she was sorry then it all went back to the same junk- I do not want help fixing this- I want help letting go and stop hurting- this isnt even about her husband anymore it is about my child who I slaved over and went to bat for and gave everything and her disresepect and treatment. I need to let go and go on with my life- it is affecting my new wonderful marriage and my life with my other kids- i can not even stand the fact that she calls them- someone have any advice to let it go It is not going to be fixed- sadly I really believe I will die before it is fixed but that is just how it is.

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Comments (3)

flowergardenmuse
15 years ago
Hello trisha60,

You are not alone. As far as advice goes...I'm providing you with a link below which may be of help. It is filled with articles about and related to what you are going through.

The website deals with the subject of family estrangement and is for families that break up--the set of circumstances that you find yourself in.

It has several articles there on letting go and moving on and is a good source for help for this type of thing.

I urge you to take a look at it. I wish you the best

Here is a link that might be useful: E-stranged
azzalea
15 years ago
I'm sorry, but I don't believe you ARE okay with the situation. Your post is absolutely full of hurt. Understand, my DH and I have had to eliminate a whole gaggle of relatives from our lives (for very good reason), and we never once felt badly or felt we'd suffered a loss. The situation was completely different from yours, though. It was OUR choice to distance ourselves from people who had time and again hurt and drained us in dozens of different ways. You haven't gotten to the point of feeling this is what you truly want, I don't think.

You're suffering--it's plain. I don't think you can move on until you deal with the past. Maybe that means making one more try to remedy the situation. Maybe it means sitting down and giving yourself a good talking to, to convince yourself that you really are better off. Maybe it means having a chat with a counselor to help you get through this.

There's something else, though, I think you need to inquire about for your own peace of mind. Have you checked your state's stance on grandparent rights? The legal rights of grandparents can vary greatly from one to the next, but some states DO give grandparents the right to visit their grandchildren. I think you really need to find out if you have the right to demand visits, just so you know you've done all in your power to be the grandmother these children deserve. Good thoughts to you.
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dreamgarden
15 years ago
"I need to let go and go on with my life- it is affecting my new wonderful marriage and my life with my other kids- i can not even stand the fact that she calls them- someone have any advice to let it go It is not going to be fixed- sadly I really believe I will die before it is fixed but that is just how it is."

You say you have a new marriage and 6 other kids.

You also say you can't stand the fact that your daughter is still in touch with her siblings.

Why?

I thought I was alone

Comments (3)

flowergardenmuse

azzalea

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