Been on both sides myself. Raise nicely middle class, married to a working fellow-we had kids and a nice, comfy life-until he got involved with drugs and I had to literally flee in the middle of the night with my children and two suitcases. From there I was a single mother on welfare. And let me tell you, unless you have been there-you have NO WAY to know what it is like. You DO NOT have everything 'free'. I was allotted a certain amount each month for foodstamps (fortunately my children were small so I was able to make it stretch the month but we ate a lot of pasta), no housing assistance, so I had to live in a crappy little apartment in a shady part of town (it was all I could afford-and I didn't have to come up with first & last months rent plus a huge deposit). We had no TV, my car was running on USED motor oil so we walked almost everywhere we had to go-couldn't afford to spend what little money I had on gas or bus fare. I did laundry in the sink before the next check came so I could afford to get it all to the laundromat. I had to beg neighbors for diapers when my son ran out because he had diarreah and I couldn't afford to buy new ones. My kids had medical care, but I did not. I suffered with an abcess tooth until I found a dentist willing to work with me on payments. I hated grocery shopping because of the scornful glares I'd get from strangers. People staring into my cart to see what I'd bought. I couldn't get a bank account because I didn't have enough money to cover the monthly minimum, so I had to go to the store to get money orders to pay my bills. The remainder of the cash I had to keep on hand-it's disenhartening to realize you have $83 to get thru the month on-since food stamps doesn't buy non-food items. I wanted to work-I'd worked since I was 15, but I could not afford clothing to wear to an interview, much less day care. (also try finding day care for an infant). I got a very, very lucky break-my caseworker knew I was smart and had a work history, so I was offered a temporary job and I'd get day care assistance. Of course, the income counted against the food stamps, but at least I was able to pay every bill every month. From there I worked my way up the ladder (thanks to my work experience backround) and am where I am today-back into solidly middle class. I did know a few people who gamed the system-but that was the exception. And let me tell you-that gaming doesn't lead to a comfy life-they STILL live on less than 15K a year. As to having kids-yes-that is a BIG problem-made worse by the fact that access to birth control has been made virtually impossible in all but the most populous areas. (a different soap box). I was lucky that I had had a very strong backround-I was able to make that time on welfare temporary-but I was almost beaten by the system, and let me tell you, it's easy to fall into that trap, especially if you know of no other life. No one extends a hand to the destitute. There may be one or two people who make a brief offer-but they're burnt out so fast-and there are so many to try to help, it's overwhelming. I tell you, I even had a dentist chastize me loudly because we were 10 minutes late to the appointment. In front of the entire lobby he berated me-saying that I was lucky that he was even seeing my kids-he was taking a loss by seeing welfare patients. And the time I was on jury duty-and in the jury room the discussion about the defendant...the jurors were already convicting him because he got food stamps so he must be a criminal (he was eventually convicted, but only because the evidence was overwhelming) and when I told this group that I also got food stamps, they were shocked-I didn't fit the profile. (why, because I was clean and educated?) Sorry for the rant, my 2 cents. I just want to say that unless you've been there, you cannot imagine what it is like to be impoverished and downtrodden.

I agree, mostly. I see math being absolutely drilled in to my kids and grammar and handwriting being overlooked. Ours are suffering because of the NCLB act and the fact that we live in a small community with a high number of ESL students. Our school system really caters to the ESL kids and all our extra money goes to programs that help those kids test higher. Higher aptitude scores over all bring in more funding for our school system. My older son has been an avid reader for years. He and his brother both get A's and high B's. He has excellent grammar and is often the go-to guy when I have a question about how to say or spell something. He helps his brother with his homework whenever he can. But both of them have terrible handwriting and my younger son can't spell himself out of a paper bag. I have always been a stay at home mom and homework gets done before any free time after school. They get a snack then get to work. We correct/ check their homework every afternoon. I can't tell you how many times I have had my kids re write something because you can't read it or it is just too messy. I have told them their teachers might be going easy on them right now but one day they will have a teacher that will mark it wrong just because it is too much work to try and read it. Well I am STILL waiting for that teacher to come along. NO one grades or corrects grammar or handwriting anymore. When my two have writing assignments, they only get graded on whether they have a proper opening / closing statement and if they made their point. It makes me crazy. Also no one pushes them to do more than what is good enough. They are just happy to have their kids finish the assignments. I find that sad. In math (algebra) my oldest was getting great grades, but when I looked at his grade history I noticed his homework grades were all great but he often failed his tests. Turns out his teacher gave her kids credit for completing their homework and turning it in on time, NOT for how well they were doing. I don't know if she was grading the homework at all. He fell so far behind in that class. He is doing really well now, but it is still a struggle for him, and for us. I do agree that many (not all) parents are too busy and don't take the time to sit and go over their kids work. That and many also don't have the skills themselves to teach or correct their children's work. JMHO

Thanks for your input. I'll try to answer all your questions. - My husband is her biological father. He grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father who taught him nothing but how to drink. DH had to learn things on his own and the hard way. His intentions were only to show her different ways on how to do things but it backfired. Surprisingly, they are very close and he does EVERYTHING for her. He feels I should stay out of it cuz the counsellor at the Crisis Intervention place said we were probably controlling. She needs to make her own decisions to be more confident. - She does have an IEP. She got it when she first started high school (French school). She transferred to an English high school in the 11th grade and is doing a lot better. She's an A student. - School counsellor is the one who called me about a month ago cuz daughter had a panic attack at school (not her first). Counsellor recommended that she see a doctor. Counsellor is the one who mentioned to daughter about home schooling, although she agreed with me when I voiced my concerns about her doing that cuz she'd be too isolated and that it's better that she attends school whenever she can. - About 2 years ago, we "forced" her into therapy cuz we could see she was getting depressed and needed help. Therapist there said we should "make" her go to school. It didn't work cuz we forced her into it and she didn't open up. A person has to WANT help. She WANTS it now, which is a good sign. She went to the Crisis place on her own. - The school counsellor told me that we would keep in close contact about my daughter's situation. She told all my daughter's teachers that she was going through health and home issues. All the teachers are being very supportive towards her. Two weeks ago, I called the counsellor to give her an update (daughter went to Crisis and started therapy - tomorrow is her 2nd sessioon), I'm still WAITING for her to get back to me after leaving 2 messages! - At parent/teacher night, parents meet with each individual teacher privately to discuss the progress of their child. This would be the only opportune time to meet cuz it's very hard to set up an appointment with them. Seems there's no time that's good for anybody cuz of time restraints. Some parent/teacher interview take 20 minutes. - The "course outline throughout the semester" that you mentioned is done the first week of school through printout material that parents have to sign and return to the teacher. - Hubby is really trying to change his ways. Daughter even mentioned she's noticing a change. It's got to the point where he's scared to say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing right now cuz she's so fragile. - The bullying she experienced in elementary school wasn't a decade ago. It was in grades 6,7, and 8. When she was accessed for anxiety by a psychologist and his team in the summer before 9th grade, they said that it was a great cause to her anxiety because of the low self-esteem, etc. Daughter has a hard time to let it go cuz she has a lot of anger about it. The counsellor at the Crisis place told her that she's living in the past and in the future (cuz daughter has all these goals she's working towards) and is NOT living in the present and taking care of herself. I've decided that I will mention to her teachers exactly about what is going on with her... reason for her absence, therapy, etc. Just to make them aware of it so they know. There's really no big discussion about it with them, just a mention. If they wish to discuss matters further, then maybe they could make the time for a meeting. Anxiety and agorophobia is in the family too. A lot of people don't truly understand what anxiety/panic attacks are all about.

I thought it was an interesting article. I am very happy with the schools my kids go to and feel that my kids got (and are getting) a very good education - better than the one I had. But I did see some of the points in the article played out in our school system. I agree that teachers teach, or at least used to teach, subjects other than their specialties. I thought No Child Left Behind addressed that issue, but perhaps our local schools decided to change that on their own. I also agree that it is very difficult in many schools to oust a teacher who has been at the school a long time. My son had a teacher who would come into class in the mornings, turn off the light, and sleep. She taught gifted 9th grade math, and she told the kids they didn't need her to teach them because they were gifted (they could learn it themselves). I heard that she was once a very talented teacher, but she had health problems and was just trying to make it to retirement. My kids had other teachers who really shouldn't have been teaching in the classroom. If the teacher was relatively new in the school it seemed like their contract wasn't renewed the next year. But teachers who have taught for years get away with cursing students in class, poor quality of instruction, etc. I also agree that the spending ratio isn't a good picture of the quality of the education, or even how the money is spent. An excellent teacher with a passion for educating kids can have an exciting class on a shoestring budget. It's not the spending ratio that makes a difference - it's the commitment of the parents and the teachers to learning. I think it is rare that our local teachers give kids the answers to the standardized tests. But I do know that some teachers in some classes teach to the test all year. I think our local schools are very good, and I am pleased with the quality. But I think that in education, like any other profession, there are things that get swept under the rug so to speak.