Is it too early to promote breastfeeding?

18 years ago

My 5 year old dd's childcare provider has a new baby, so dd's dolls are all getting lots of attention these days. She spends a lot of time dressing them, taking them for rides in the doll stroller, feeding them etc. I was watching her play with her "babies" yesterday, and it made me remember that when my 12 year old dd first started playing with dolls, she used to hold them to her chest to feed them, as if breastfeeding, because that's how I fed her younger siblings. Of course she soon started using bottles to feed them, like all her friends did, but still, I feel that when she is a mother, she will think of breastfeeding as a normal way of feeding a baby.

In contrast, my younger daughter has never seen anyone nurse a baby, though I have mentioned once or twice, when a neighbor cat had kittens, or when we see a nursing animal at the zoo, etc, that some moms (including me) feed their babies this way. I can tell that it is a foreign concept to her, and don't think that it's important for her to understand now. But I would prefer that she learn about it before she becomes a mom.

Maybe it is nothing to worry about. I'm probably oversensitive because when I had my kids, I caught a lot of static from my inlaws, none of whom nursed their children. My mother in law even bought my first baby some baby vitamins, "just in case", I guess because she didn't think that she would be getting the nutrients she needed. And if my mom hadn't breastfed me and my siblings, I may have doubted it, too. So I don't want it too seem too odd, and just wonder, for those of you with older children, if this is something you ever discuss with your daughters? Maybe it is OK to just wait until they are ready to have their own children? And just so no one flames me, I'm not knocking formula, just want all options to seem acceptable.

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Comments (8)

imamommy
18 years ago
My daughter is 17 and I've never talked to her about whether she will breastfeed her kids. I had three kids and only breastfed one, for a short time at that. My sister on the other hand, breastfed all of hers and one wasn't weaned until three or four, which I found extremely odd. I think that as they grow up and see babies being fed with bottles or breast, they will understand better that there are different ways to feed a baby. I think breast milk is the most nutritious way to feed a baby (because nature intends for babies to be fed that way) but it was too painful for me to do with my own kids. It's really a personal choice and I don't think it matters so much if a parent breastfed you or not. If I were going to discuss it with my daughter, it would be talked about when she's expecting. After all, that is eight or nine months to talk about those things. But with young children, when they start noticing (as your older daughter did), then that's a good time to explain the different ways it can be done. (and some babies have allergies to some formulas or reflux problems so each child may have different needs.) I wouldn't worry about it now.
freezetag
Original Author
18 years ago
The more I think about it, the more I agree that it's not something to worry about now. It would feel odd to bring it up, and I don't foresee the subject coming up naturally, as I am not having any more children, and we don't ever see women nursing babies. It's just not really done in public around here - I think most nursing women must either pump/bottlefeed, or go somewhere private. I don't like that it may be a very foreign idea to my dd when she is expecting, but you're right, eight or nine months is a long time to weigh your options!
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finedreams
18 years ago
i did some research and breastfeeding is the best prevention against future allergies and some other health issues. It is proven stastically, but you can raise healthy babies without breastfeeding. I breast fed DD for a long time-until maybe 10 minths or so, but it never occured to me to discuss it with DD. i don't even know if she would want children, certainly not yet. And nowadays women go back to work quickly so breast feeding is usually not doable. I don't find this issue important. DD never immitated breastfeeding. Even though she was breastfed she never saw anybody else doing it. And she mainly played with stuffed animals not dolls. I don't see the issue as important. It depends on circumstances.

iammommy, 3 or 4 years old? I also find it odd to say the least. i wouldn't think fo breast feed children who can walk and talk and have teeth. So would they actually say" i am hungry" and mom would get breasts out to feed? Ouch
oh_my
18 years ago
Breastfeeding is very natural and a great thing to do, and it's quite a shame that there's such taboo surrounding it. In my state it's legal to breasfeed anywhere you are allowed to be with your infant. I always just covered up with a blanket and just did it.

I breasfed both of my daughters until they could drink from a cup at about a year old, and I nursed my oldest at bedtime (even though I'm quite certain that I had no more milk) until she was two. She just liked the bonding and it helped her go to sleep.

I'll admit that it hurts like H--- for the first few weeks. I would even bleed. But if you can get past that, it's great...at least for me it was. It's really a personal decision.

Freeztag, I see nothing wrong with playing dolls with your daughter and showing her how you fed her and expaining that babies can eat that way too. I believe I've actually done this with my youngest daughter. When my youngest was a baby, I didn't do much "covering up" when at home nursing, and my older daughter would often sit with us while I breastfed and sometimes she watched, so she always knew about it, like your older daughter.

My mother said that when I was born doctors really promoted bottle feeding, but things have changed a lot since then, and I feel my OBs promoted breastfeeding if at all possible. You can even rent a breast pump from the hospital and insurance will usually pay for it.

So I wouldn't worry about it too much now, but if you want her to know about it, then by all means, let her know. At the very least she won't stare or make alarming comments if she ever does see a breastfeeding mother:)
Jonesy
18 years ago
In my opinion most people are uncomfortable around a mother that is breast feeding. I was not comfortable breast feeding around others, even around my own family. I bf both of my babies, but only for 3 or 4 months and I usually did it in the bedroom if there was company.
stephanie_in_ga
18 years ago
I breastfed all my kids for about a year. Even my boys immitated the position with a doll or toy. A little commical, to say the least, but they are clueless. Just monkey see, monkey do. DS#1 was 3 when #2 was born. He was actually jealous of *me* and wanted his new brother to himself. He told me one day to "go away, I can take care of him by-self." I asked what would happen when the baby was hungry. He told me he'd feed him "from my nipples." OK, good luck with that! LOL! A little more explanation of lactation was needed. ;o)

Anyway. Too early to explain, no. To "promote" I think yes. Actually, I don't know that I'd ever actively promote breastfeeding to my daughter, or sons and their wives. My kids all understand the mechanics on their own age level, from "mommies make or milk babies" to "women lactate after pregnancy." But the decision of how to nurish their own children will be theirs, they can explore the options when it's their turn to be parents. I will answer questions if asked, certainly, provide support if asked. But I'll mind my own business about what they decide. I was not breastfed, was completely unfamilar, but still learned what to do and why all on my own. I was neither encouraged nor discouraged by my mother or other family. I was supported, as I was with all the parenting choices I've made.
daisyinga_gardener
18 years ago
I just want to chime in in response to the posts that mention how much breastfeeding hurts.

When I was pregnant with my oldest, I took childbirth classes from a nurse who stressed to us that breastfeeding shouldn't hurt. When my son was born, this instructor wasn't available, the hospital lactation consultant was on vacation, and the breastfeeding did indeed hurt like h&%! It was way worse than the pain from my incision (c-section).

Every single nurse, doctor, etc. who came in my room, except for one, assured me that breastfeeding hurt. My friends assured me that breastfeeding hurt.

After 3 weeks, I had to bite my hand or arm to keep from screaming when I nursed. By this time the hospital lactation consultant returned, I called her and went to see her. She stuck her finger in my baby's mouth, tears came to her eyes, and she told me she knew how much it hurt. She gently pressed my wrist, and told me that's how it should feel. I was hurting so much, just the pressure of my shirt hurt, but she was able to latch my baby onto me so gently that it didn't hurt at all. It felt like an absolute miracle, and it didn't hurt at all.

Anyway, by the time I had my second baby, I knew that breast feeding shouldn't hurt. She was delivered in a different hospital, breastfeeding hurt with her, too (for a different reason it turns out), and when those nurses and the lactation consultant told me, "honey, it just hurts", I thanked them and called a private consultant. The private consultant was able to help tremendously. It didn't hurt at all.

So anyway, this is all probably TMI, but I do like to encourage young mothers-to-be to get help if they need it. I got so much wrong information I was aghast. Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt.
livvysmom
18 years ago
If you are asking if you should encourage your 5 year old to simulate breast-feeding her dolls -- I would say no. Why??? Will she remember 25 years later??

My oldest DD (when age 2) used to "breast-feed" her dolls due to me nursing her baby sister. She doesn't even remember doing it now.

Nothing wrong with explaining but don't need to encourage her now.

Is it too early to promote breastfeeding?

Comments (8)

imamommy

freezetag
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Is it too early to promote breastfeeding?

Comments (8)

imamommy

freezetagOriginal Author

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freezetag
Original Author