I think it impossible to sufficiently emphasize that not only is each child different (whether or not considered to be ADHD or autistic) but also each diagnostician differs! And so does each teacher and each school system and each state's educational expectations differ. I see the differences not only because my job involves special education eligibility (Federal, state, and county compliance), and not only because I am familiar with diagnosticians within both school and medical systems, but because my DD was among the first to be officially medically diagnosed as being ADHD. While I would give all due respect to those physicians who feel only medical doctorates are qualified to make a diagnosis, I would be far more impressed with their personal qualifications and experience on the subject, if they have any. In the past twenty years in this job, I have seen literally thousands of MD-signed "diagnoses" which were overwhelmingly obvious in their lack of supportive in-depth knowledge of both patient and disability. I have also seen some truly impressive evaluations which -doctoral opinions to the contrary- were as likely to be written by a clinical psychologist or pediatrical behavioral specialist as by a formal pediatrician or other medical doctor. The problem, of course, is that there is no single cause of the physical/emotional/behavioral spectra which is commonly termed ADD, ADHD, or autism. In each category, the legal definitions themselves are changing, and criteria which is acknowledged by one medical group or state or educational system may not be accepted by another. If one has a pustulent rash, swabs and microscopes and medical histories can determine whether the rash was caused by poison ivy or chicken pox or something else. When one has difficulty learning to focus and/or to behave with social appropriateness and/or to simply sit still -or any of the other several dozen criteria for ADD, ADHD,or autism, one learns that there is no one single defining cause nor is there any one single defining "cure" or amelioration. This fuzziness of both cause and cure can be beyond frustration for parents, teachers, and medical staff involved. Like others, I could talk for hours and days about my personal experiences with DD's ADHD which might or might not be of any help to you. Instead, I'd rather encourage you to do several things, each within your control. First: keep detailed diaries: record meals, drinks, activities and the child's ongoing behavior. NO one can make a diagnosis without supportive information, most especially when general behaviors are concerned. There is more to a child's behavior than is shown while s/he is at the doctor's office. Second (and this is more difficult than diary-type notes), eliminate sugar and foods containing sugar-replacement additives from the diet. The restriction includes sucrose, fructose, aspartame, saccarin, etc. To do this is a PIA, which involves much reading of labels and consistency in refusing to give in to demands and whines. I've been there and done that, and when it comes to compliance: adults are a bigger problem than the kid. (This restriction may or may not affect the behavior, but I guarantee the body will be healthier.) Third: do not accept any single person's diagnosis as being sufficient unto itself. I do recommend having at least one pediatrician [if at all possible one who has studied and reported on ADD/autism] AND a non-affiliated behavioral specialist and/or clinical psychologist make a diagnosis. And if the diagnosis is presented after one visit and consists of saying that little junior is obviously ADD and needs medication, go find another person to make an informed evaluation. The average evaluation takes many hours of one-on-one study by the diagnostician with the patient, and ends up summarized in a 15- to 30-page report. Anything written on just one page is probably an unsupported opinion which may have little to do with your child. Fourth, remember that there is a very large segment of the medical community which believes that no non-medically trained person needs the details or basis of any medical diagnosis. Period. They will be offended and/or appalled that any one else would question their diagnosis or evaluation. IMO, run-don't-walk out that door. There are too many intelligent, informed, and informative medical personnel around to limit yourself to someone who believes you are incapable of understanding basic English. OTOH, you need to show your comprehension of the issues involved. Keep a notebook going with a summary of what you have read [who wrote it/when, by whom, where published]. Be very cautious of medical personnel who discount or shrug off reports from the child's teacher/s -- that is similar to saying that what one person observes over a several hours every day, every week is of no importance. IMO, what a teacher sees over six hours daily has as much importance as what the parent sees over six hours daily --- and in both cases the views may or may not be of value in a diagnosis but neither should they be summarily dismissed. The odds are that either teacher or parent is far more familiar with the child than the doctor is! And last, remember to love the child no matter how exasperating the actions.

and maybe it's only in this area, but when my kids were in HS here, they would come home telling me that their teachers were telling them how their parent's should vote in the next election to give teachers a raise. (whatever proposition they were in support of) It is one thing to discuss politics in social studies, but I think it's wrong to use kids for their own agenda. Several times over the years, at different schools, with different teachers, my kids told me that their teachers complained about their salaries. That's just as bad as the CP complaining about their child support or lack thereof. I don't even complain to my kids if I don't think I'm paid enough. I don't think it's right for a teacher to discuss their personal financial problems with the class. and on Back to school night this year, my SD's teacher (at the school she was going to before her mom moved away, which is in a very low income area) told the few parents that bothered to show up, that "here's the science book we're supposed to use, but we probably won't because there isn't time for science." and "we'll be doing Social Studies on Tues & Thurs. for 40 min. but only if we get done with Math. There isn't time in our day for PE but on Fridays, they will be able to run around the track once." It was a complete joke. DH and I couldn't believe what we were hearing. She actually showed us the workbook she was using for one subject and said she couldn't get one for each of the students so she had to run off copies of the assignment each week and unless a parent volunteered to come in and do that for her, they probably wouldn't be able to get to that subject. Of course, she said there is time for singing on Wed. afternoons. I had signed up to volunteer in the class (against BM's wishes) even though it's an hour drive each way to that school from where I live. I was appalled at the teacher's flagrant attitude that because there wasn't enough money in the school's budget, this was what was going to happen. As we were leaving the classroom, we were given a flyer for whatever proposition was on the ballot for the next election. Fortunately, SD's mom told us that night that she had moved and SD only went to that school one more day and the next week, she started school where we live. I will admit that even though I am peeved at having to pay for her to ride the bus, she's getting much better education. She even gets PE every day, as she should.

"I think I'd take the summer to observe, make notes and then review come the first of August as to what you saw, when you saw it and revisit the idea of whether it is ADD/ADHD and if meds would be helpful. It's a shame BM told SD what was going on with the eval, but on the other hand, if SD is faking it I think over time and with observation you'll be able to see if there is a consistant problem or one merely for the attention it gets her." Unfortunately, she will be spending the summer with her mother and since her mother is not on board, there is no way to observe her or get input. Besides, her mother lies & has her own agenda so anything she might tell us will probably not be very helpful for SD. What was decided is that they will try medication when she resumes the next school year. At my suggestion, it will be in combination with therapy to deal with the other issues. To be honest, my biggest concern at the moment is that DH is not fully aware of how much work might be involved and it will fall on me. Her mom doesn't care to get involved to help & she would take custody to get out of paying her child support, but then SD would be there doing what older sister is doing... anything she damn well pleases, wearing make up, & staying up all night. She already does that on weekends & during summer. This summer may be another eye opener for SD as well, now there is a baby there. Will BM send her off to stay with other people again? or will she want her there to help take care of the baby? and how will that make SD feel? Last summer, SD had grandiose ideas of all the great stuff mom was going to do with her during summer & she ended up staying with grandma in another town & seeing mom one or two days a week ~ grandma (who lived by us) would drive SD to BM's the day before we got her... thus making us drive an extra two hours to go get her. By the end of summer, SD was thinking she was going to start school over at BM's because grandma & her sister moved to the town where BM lives... then she was shocked & upset when we came to get her at the end of summer to get ready to start school here. That is the kind of mental anguish BM does to her... she doesn't seem to care how much her daughter is struggling or how miserable these things make her, she doesn't really want her daughter living there with her, but she does want the child support off her back. So, what happens this summer & how it impacts SD will probably affect how she feels at the end of summer. SD's counselor told us to keep telling SD the truth, but doing that makes BM angry... she even called the counselor & told him off. Actually, both of her counselors have had to suggest that, that we tell SD the truth about living here because BM continues to tell her lies about going to live over there. She also continues to lie about getting married to BF. SD just told DH that they are getting married next month. BM is still married to older sister's daddy, she can't marry BF... but all of the kids are supposedly all excited about it, including BF's kids. But that is one lie we don't tell SD the truth about... how do you tell a kid that her mom is still married to DD14's BD, but now living with & claiming to be getting married to BF? But, she fills those kids' heads with her fantasy & make believe they are the 'Brady Bunch'. So, I hope the medication helps. SD leaves in two weeks for summer. One of her teachers has raised SD's grades from D & F to a B- & C+. Unfortunately, we believe it is because DH has mentioned retaining SD in 5th grade because all her grades were D's & F's. (plus her handwriting looks like 2nd grade, she can't spell, and consistently, her teachers write "not grade level work" on her papers. We discussed retention because if SD isn't able to do 5th grade level work, how will she do 6th grade level with many teachers?) While I understand why the teachers & counselor oppose holding her back (I see that as a last resort also), it is a great disservice to SD if they are fluffing her grades to help her look better to us so DH won't hold her back. On the other hand, maybe SD will get some sort of pride out of seeing a report card with a B on it & maybe it will inspire her to work harder next year to get B's.. or at least better grades. All I know is that she has not improved from doing D level work to B level work in two weeks... and her other teacher has noted a few times how SD has given herself an A on papers that she got 5 out of 10 right.... which is 50%~ an F. At this point, all we can do is wait to see what happens when she goes to her mothers.. and when she comes back, see what her attitude about it is. Then when she starts school again, we will try the medication & she will go back to therapy. Thanks everyone for all the input. I am going to research it more. I know my nephew was ADD, but still don't know much about these disorders/conditions. I will also need to educate DH.

I know there are a lot of talks about overdiagnozing ADD/ADHD but I do not personaly know anyone who is not diagnozed right. And I work with kids. And it definitelly takes more than 15 minutes to diagnoze it properly. i agree with ceph that besides medication children have to learn how to cope with ADD/ADHD. I have to say though that i had a professor in grad school who has adult ADD and he was diagnozed when he was a young child. It never went away. No matter how he learned to cope he cannot normally function without medication and he used to tell us: you don't want to sit in my class if I forgot to take my pill. lol He was also dyslexic and bunch of other stuff. He was like a poster boy of what proper medication and hard work can do. If not that he would probably work on assembly line.