It is a little odd for her to call you back and demand who you were - maybe your affair theory is correct, or maybe she's had problems with prank callers?

She could easily look up your name on a reverse phone directory (internet) if she really wanted to. Doesn't your caller ID give out your name already though?

Pam

Yup, she seems totally paranoid to me. I too have caller ID and if I see a name an number I don't recognize and no message, I assume it was a wrong number. Could be her DH is cheating or she was or is getting crank phone calls and she is trying to put an end to them. Why didn't she ask her son about the number? She also could have ID'd herself and asked much nicer, did anyone from your house call her or anyone in her family? I'm with you, no way would I have told her who I was. She has caller ID, she should be able to see it unless just your number showed up.

Don't worry about reading anything into it. I have had that happen to me. DH was in the ICU after surgery. We were in the waiting room of the ICU in the hospital. I was calling family and friends to update them on the surgery, as were others in the waiting room. Someone must have dialed a wrong number at some point.

The phone rang and I answered, thinking it was my family or another patient's family. No, it was someone who had been rung accidentally by one of us in the waiting room. She was giving me the third degree even AFTER I told her this was a hospital waiting room and that some distraught family member must have misdialed.

So --- who knows why they grill people like that. Maybe they have collectors calling? Maybe they have prank callers a lot? Maybe suspicious about husbands? Maybe they just have NO LIFE. But don't try to second-guess why they were so insistent, and don't read anything into it.

It is just the way some people are.

I doubt most people do, but all it takes is one. And, sometimes additional things can be going on in that one person's life which cause them to be very concerned about unknown, unpredictable events.

Are you sure you know who the caller was?

Even if you are, consider what you know of them from before. You might want to ask your son if he's ever felt anything but safe there. Maybe their house isn't wacky, but that unknown number was like the last straw for her on that day for some reason.

people can experience extreme anxiety and panic, or even disorientation sometimes when faced with unpredictable events they cannot control (including 'strange' phone numbers, although why they would then call the strange number seems a touch odd... maybe it's the one thing they can control about the situation)

P.S. If you know her socially, and know for sure that she was the caller you can talk to her. Under more friendly circumstances where you both feel more comfortable and relaxed you can ask her if she remembers 'last tuesday' (or whatever day). See what she says. You can mention that you were the person on the other end of the phone. You can also ask if she's ok because she didn't sound very ok on the phone that day, in fact she sounded frightening. In this sort of way, with extreme tact and diplomacy and with sincere care you can try to at least find out what she was thinking and she might share why she thought it.

I get this ALL THE TIME at my OFFICE. It is not only annoying but it disturbs my workday and I have to basically defend myself because these people get so snotty and rude when I tell them, "I did not call you".

I really find it annoying that people are that paranoid and they think you are "After them"... as if you called and hung up for a reason, if you did even call and hang up, which isn't the case of what happens here!

The most annoying thing is when they argue with you. "Is this phone number not 555-5555? well if it is missy, then YOU called ME".

Some people just adore being rude. It's their nature. It's these people who use *69 to their worst advantage!

- darkeyedgirl

It may not have been your son's friend's mother at all, right?

For one thing, If you hit redial in the middle of calling one of your friends, you might have gotten a third number. Example: your friend's number is 878-8878; your son's friend number (on the redial) is 565-5565. You dial 878-8 [hit redial] 565.

If you're worried about it, you could call the son's friend's mom and say you had an odd experience with a wrong number on your end and you want to know if she was the one who got the incorrect phone call. If it's her, you'll find out soon enough. If it is her, you can say you wanted to reassure her that it was a simple accident (and make your judgment about whether your son should go to her house based on how she reacts now). If it wasn't her, you can say you wanted to investigate because you didn't want her to think you were inconsiderate.

It's also possible that your aborted phone call coincided with things in that woman's life (whoever she is) you don't know about--a rash of prank phone calls, a disagreement with someone at work, whatever.

But if you made the redial mistake 4 or 5 hours earlier, you can't have "just" been calling her (whoever she is) as she claimed, and she probably wouldn't have still had the phone number around (unless it was on an answering machine). I'd bet it was a case of her misreading it, or some other crossed-wire screw-up (don't tell me they don't happen).

Have you met this other mom? Even if you don't want to pursue it by phone, you might want to get to know her a little better. Then you'll have a better idea of if it is her.

I'm w/ you, I wouldn't have given my name. And certainly would have hung up on her as you described, if she didn't give any reason for wanting to know--if she'd explained that she'd received a rash of prank phone calls or something, but sheesh! wrong numbers happen all the time!

I get these a lot (plus I get a lot of wrong calls, our number gets mistaken for the co-op all the time...), but I used to work at a bank in bookkeeping and if people called back the number that showed on their caller ID, it would send the call to me...They would say "this is soandso, and someone from this number called my homs..." to which I replied "ma'am/sir, this is a bank, I have three floors of employees and I cannot keep track of who everyone is calling. However, it is possible that someone in Collections is trying to reach you and I would be happy to transfer your call to them..." They'd say "no, thanks" and apologize every time :D

My MIL will drop what she is doing and run to the kitchen to check the number that comes up before answering it. If she doesn't recognize it, she won't answer. Most times it comes up with a number and a name. If she recognizes the name but not the number, she STILL won't answer it. We have multiple lines at work (over 20) and when I dial out it chooses the first available line. I have NO control over what number will appear, but the company name always does.

So I let it ring, and ring, and ring, then start to panic. We can't call from a pay phone either. I once had to call from the hospital because her son had been in an accident. She wouldn't pick up the phone.

Very frustrating.

{{gwi:336191}}

Interesting that this happens to other people, apparently fairly often, too! I know it was "Bobby's" mom because I also have caller ID. I answered her call from a phone that doesn't display caller ID, but after I spoke to her, I went to another phone to see who the heck was being so rude to me! It was definitely "Bobby's" mom.

She would not have recognized my name on her called ID because my last name is different from my son's.

As for her saying that I "just" called her, I assume she read the display wrong or something. My caller ID displays the name, phone number, date and time of the call. I assume that hers does too and she made a mistake about the time of the call. Also, my display stores up to 100 numbers. So I can easily scroll "back in time" and see who called me last week if I wanted to (and had nothing better to do)!

I did have an opportunity to meet this mom shortly after the phone episode. We were introduced by first names only. She was very nice and went on and on about how much she just loved my son. I didn't bother to tell her that we had already met via telephone. I thought it best not to antagonize her ;) because I know how volatile she can be!

That is what has given me pause. Let me tell you -- she wasn't very nice when she thought she was talking to a stranger. I know that wrong numbers happen all the time but she seemed to really overreact to it. There is something that I left out of my original post. I don't know if this matters, but she is not from this country and does have a problem expressing herself in English. At this point, I donÂt think I will tell her that I was the person on the phone that day because it would probably only embarrass her. Maybe she has figured it out by now anyway. But because of her overblown reaction, I think I would prefer that the boys spend time over here and not there. If youÂve ever been around someone who blows up at the drop of a hat, then you will understand.

Thanks for all the feedback. I mostly wanted to vent a little because this situation served as a reminder to me. You can never truly know a person. When I met her in person, she was putting her best foot forward. But I think that day on the phone showed her TRUE colors.

I have a SIL who's not from here either and she'll get mad and flip over nothing, but be so nice to your face. She's called us back and gotten rude because we called their house early in the morning and the caller ID showed it but the thing was we just got a call from them, dialed *69 and got their number and called to see what they wanted. She's also known to call your house and hang up and then when you call and ask what she wanted, swear that she never called~other SIL says all the time that she doesn't think a caller ID could lie that often. So maybe my SIL is your son's friend~LOL.

~Leslie~

I think most people would be rude to an annonymous stranger on the phone. Hardly fair to assume that she's a whacko because she got upset over what she obviously thought was a prank call. Like so many other posters suggested, she's probably had a rash of prank calls lately. has this ever happened to you? It's enough to drive someone mad. Perhaps there are estranged family members calling? People she'd rather not hear from?an ex-spouse? Or maybe she was just having a rough day?

I think there's a bit of paranoia on both ends. You're afraid that because she was rude to you on the telephone that she'll do something weird to your kid, who she obviously really likes? Yes, it WAS weird that she called you back and grilled you. There are many, many possibilities for her strange reaction. I wouldn't automatically assume she's a nut just because she over-reacted. we all do it from time to time.

though if what's happening in her life is that she's hearing from other people she's rather not hear from, you still might prefer the kids play at your house.

I think it's less that the OP is worried how she'll treat the OP's son and more that the OP would prefer her son not overhear this woman lose it.

Funny you should say that - because my faux paus is talking to other drivers who cut me off, etc, when I'm driving. I say things that, of course, if they weren't in a complete other car out of earshot, I would never say to their face.

Since becoming a mom, I have changed that and other habits. Because, even if it is a stranger, or even if they are out of earshot, as they say, it's what is in your heart that counts. And DD has begun to repeat a few things I said under my breath in traffic ;-) So I have decided to change my attitude about treating strangers/etc different from how I treat people in person face to face.

Sedwa, I don't think you are correct about most people being rude to strangers on the phone. I talk to strangers all the time via telephone (in my work) and by far the majority of people are polite and friendly. I am not at all worried about how she will treat my son. Its not what she does, its what she says. I don't think it's good for my son to be around anyone who doesn't have control of their emotions. I still think her behavior was bizarre and "over the top". But, I haven't lost any sleep over it :) Thank you Talley Sue for your response, it was right on target.

What, so she's thinking it's a prank call and is calling to have a lovely chat with the pranker? That's just as whacko. "Fess up. You pranked me!" And I hardly think telling her she was "rather frightening" is diplomatic. Of course the best way to get her off the phone is to politely ask for her credit card number.

Trish

I have nothing to really add, except that this happened to me too! I got a call one evening from a MEAN MEAN MEAN old lady, who yelled at me, asking who I was. I had four roommates at the time, and had no idea who might have called.. I told her it was probably a wrong number, but she would not let up. I finally told her I was sorry that this caused her such distress and hung up on her.... People can be SO strange sometimes!