Congratulations, Linda! I love her name. A wonderful life moment for all of you - enjoy your visit & bring back lots of pictures. Enjoy this time - they are small for such little time. We had 2 new grandbabies born just a month apart in fall 2010 & now they're happy, very active toddlers, not babies at all anymore. They grow so quick. /tricia

I have a history of agreeing with rhome, so I will tell you that I loved the marble -- even with the edge treatment. That made it kind of a funky fit that didn't need refinishing in my book. The polished aspect is easy -- take some lemon juice to wash it down first, rinse and dry, then fine sand paper (maybe a couple of grades in succession) and buff it down. And I don't worry about staining. I've had mine next to my cooktop and sink for years -- with chili, chocolate, tomatoes -- just about anything I'm likely to encounter spilled on them and a number left overnight. It's as seal it and forget it as my granite as far as stains go, really. I like the soapstone, but I don't love it -- especially as a second variety in the same room. I would wait until you get the other SS in to commit to table top. Either way, I'd hang onto the marble for now. Either stone can be changed or used in another spot. I'd be wanting to find a use for both of them regardless of which one stayed on the table top. Whatever you do, they are great finds. Enjoy your great fortune and the stones.

My heart goes out to your daughter. I've felt the same things too. It sounds like your daughter has the beginning of Anorexia Nervosa. Distorted body image, the perception that you are fat and ugly when you are not, is a hallmark of the mental illness. Something is literally wrong in her brain, as was in mine. The brain is not functioning properly. This is what was going on with me. I thought I was fat and ugly and horrible looking when in fact I was skinny and pretty. It was a mental illness that had taken over my life. May I suggest Zinc supplements? This is what changed my life. When I took it, the thoughts and feelings and behaviors (it sounds like your daughter has not yet taken action to lose weight, that is very good) were gone. The body image distortion was gone. I looked in the mirror and saw someone thin who needed to gain weight. I looked in the mirror and saw someone pretty. Let me show you the research on Zinc. It's worth a shot. "Features of the illness: Physiological: ...Abnornalities of mineral and electrolyte levels in the body, Zinc deficiency" Studies have been done that show Zinc has been effective in reducing or eliminating the self-image distortion of Anorexia for Anorexics. "The release also cites a Journal For Medical Research article by Dr. Alex Schauss, which reported studies at Stanford University, the University of Kentucky, and the University of California at Davis which found most anorexics and bulimics were zinc-deficient. According to the release, a five-year study showed an 85% remission rate for anorexia patients given zinc supplements. According to Dr. Barbara Levine, Director of the Nutrition Information Center at New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center, zinc-rich foods include red meat, seafood, cheese, and nuts." "These findings have led some scientists to suggest that zinc deficiency may actually play a role in the causation of anorexia nervosa. The role between zinc and eating behaviour may be connected to a brain chemical known as neuropeptide Y (NPY), the main function of which is to stimulate eating. Generally speaking, restriction of food causes an increase in NPY levels. Animal research has discovered, however, that zinc deficiency blunts the increase in NPY in response to food restriction. The results of this research suggest that zinc deficiency may quell the normal urge to eat more should food be rationed." "...there is at least some evidence that disordered physiology may play a role in the development of the condition too. In particular, research has suggested that anorexia may be related to a deficiency in the mineral zinc. Zinc deficiency has been found to be a common feature in anorexics, and it has been noted that zinc deficiency and anorexia nervosa have symptoms in common which include poor appetite, weight loss, nausea and cessation of periods (amenorrhea)." "People who don't consume zinc may become seriously anorexic, with little desire and even a repulsion for eating. For many young, weight-conscious women, and often the elderly, not eating becomes a state of mind and is considered a serious psychiatric disorder. "...For people trying to recover from anorexia, or those who are having trouble holding onto body weight, I believe our work strengthens earlier findings that recommend the use of zinc supplements," Shay said. "Another lab has shown that zinc supplements have led to greater recovery rates." " The use of zinc in the treatment of anorexia nervosa has been advocated since # by Bakan." "Insufficient zinc has been linked to anorexia, which responds well to zinc replacement treatment." "Zinc deficiency has also been detected in people with anorexia or bulimia in most,nineeen, twenty though not all, twenty one studies. In addition, some of the manifestations of zinc deficiency, such as reduced appetite, taste, and smell, are similar to symptoms observed in some cases of anorexia or bulimia." "A # study (Birmingham and Gritzner) reports that low zinc levels create dynamics in the brain that are similar to those seen with anorexia nervosa. The study found that giving zinc to a group of persons with anorexia produced asignificant improvement in body mass index compared to a group of anorexic persons not receiving zinc. Birmingham and Gritzner suggest that zinc deficiencies make neurotransmitters less effective. When this problem is corrected with zinc therapy in those with anorexia, they conclude, the resulting improvement in brain functioning creates an improvement in anorexia symptoms...." "What is interesting is that such an inexpensive and widely-available mineral shows promise, by itself, in establishing better brain functioning in this group." "If you have anorexia, [take] fifity mg a day of this essential mineral, along with one to three mg per day of copper." "It's important to check with your doctor before beginning a course of zinc therapy, however, because too much zinccan result in other problems in brain functioning (Flinn et al., #). Medical assistance will help regulate zinc at the proper level for you." Love, Amy

See, you got it right - your love and support is the best thing for her. Two observations for you (hopefully you won't take them the wrong way - all of us who love this site for the great advice have to keep in mind that when we read these posts, we bring our own experiences and prejudices to them - I could be interjecting my own personal feelings here that really don't apply, but I just think they do because I assume you must feel the same way I do). 1. You are being way too hard on yourself - even if you COULD wave a wand and make things perfect - you shouldn't! I view my job as both a BM and SM to prepare my children for the real world - a world where they have responsibilities and obligations and a world that is not always fair or kind. I joke about my chaotic little slice of paradise because I have never had any other experience where things are so challenging but at the same time so joyous and rewarding. For example, my five year old is at that stage where I have to tell him ten times to do things, it drives me crazy! Then I went to a kindergarten meeting (my baby starts kindergarten in the fall, sniff sniff) and the teacher gave all thirty or so preschoolers an "assignment" - to practice "first time listening" all summer, that when mom and dad tell you to do it the first time, you do it. I realized then it was just a normal stage and we will get through it just like everyone else does. The other day he made his bed on his own without me telling him to do it and I nearly jumped for joy! I think as "blended family" parents we assume all our kids' problems stem from the fact that they don't have a "normal" home life - not true. I had a "normal" home life and a lot of the same issues I see on this website I remember from my own upbringing. So, IMHO, I think you are trying to compensate for the fact that dad is no longer with mom. Go easier on yourself - this is fun stuff! 2. I think you compare yourself to BM too much. Their love for her is different, and will always be different, but that doesn't mean they can't love you in a very special way and they will. It takes time. I think we women (and maybe men too Bill?) compare ourselves to other women because we are looking to learn about ourselves. There are other ways to learn about ourselves, ways that are much more productive and positive. I am guilty of it - I found myself comparing myself to my ex-husband's new girlfriend to see if I can find answers to what went wrong. She and I look a lot alike (both about 115, 5'3", long reddish-blonde hair, green eyes, very similar facial features), which is what gave me the idea of hey, it wasn't that he wasn't attracted to me anymore, it was that something was missing from our relationship. She's ten years older than me and has four kids, two of them in their early twenties. When I found this out, I was like, eureka! he wants a mother figure and that's not me, I am more of a "party-girl" then a mother figure (I relate to your kids' BM - I have a very busy work and social life. I have no qualms about taking a vacation without the kids - going on a cruise myself with hubby and a ton of friends). I think, that's the reason he cheated on me, because he wanted more of the motherly type - but then I just stop myself and say, so what? It's the past and whatever the reason he cheated on me and whoever he now chooses to have in his life, who cares. I need to just live my life. Hard to do sometimes. Be kinder to yourself! Go on a cruise or a weekend away by yourself or just do the things you like to do once in awhile. You are doing a great job with kids, just keep at it and don't worry about her. Her own relationship with her kids is her problem and she may have to face the consequences of her actions later. Like Bill said, you can't change her and so, you gotta just do what you can to make your own home paradise (chaotic, but paradise).