This is one of my favorites: My first Christmas in Heaven I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow. The sight is so spectacular. Please wipe away that tear For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here. I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring, For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing. I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart. But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart. So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear. and be glad I'm spending Christmas With Jesus Christ this year. I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above. I sent you each a memory of my undying love. After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold. It was always most important in the stories Jesus told. Please love and keep each other. as my Father said to do. For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you. So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear. Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

Great song choices. I played He Stopped Loving Her Today at my son's funeral. It was the first thing he said/sang when he started talking again at age 3. He has always loved George Jones. Leader of the Band is one of my favorite songs of all time. A song that my son loved was by one of his favorite bands Due West...So Long My Friend. He wanted it played at my sister's memorial but they couldn't do it live because they were touring. We played that song at his funeral as well, at the request of the lead singer of the band. It was written by Brad Hull of Due West. So Long My Friend - Brad Hull (B. Hull) Copyright 2006 Even though I don't want to accept it There comes a time when everyone moves on I know you can't stay here forever And still I never thought this day would come So long my friend I'll see you again But until then So long my friend You know that you kept so many waiting For you to make it to the other side They welcome you with arms wide open While I can't find the words to say goodbye These words I wish that I could tell you Are going to take some getting used to. I Wish You Were Here - Chelsea Musick (C. Musick, N. Peaytt, A. Hacket) Copyright 2007 I took your picture off the wall And put it by the bed Helps on those sleepless nights When I could use a friend When I look in the mirror I see your face But it's so hard to be mad When there's no one here to blame And I never thought I'd have to let you go Never thought I'd say goodbye I never thought I'd see The day my daddy cried I guess I better go Just wanted to say hello And I miss you more with every tear Signed, "I wish you were here" I know that you love me I still feel it in my heart Sometimes it's like you're here But we're so far apart I have so many questions I just want to understand If God can take you from us Why can't he bring you back You were the one who helped me through the day The one who wiped my tears away Now what am I supposed to do No one talked to me like you

It's wonderful to see so many tributes these days. It hasn't always been like that. My DH and I live with a 90-yr-old survivor of the war and a man who has led a good, kind, thoughful life, his wife now gone. (He was part of the mobile training unit that trained the P38 pilots.) He landed at Normandy but two days after the worst of it and has considered himself so blessed all these years. We know we won't have him with us forever but we're so blessed ourselves to be a part of his life. I needed to park the car within a taped off area one day and asked the policeman if I could get to the handicapped spot without inconveniencing them. He asked if Uncle was a WWII vet, and I said yes. Then he moved things and said the WWII vets can have any space they want. What love. My best wishes to all your service family members, of any branch, in or out of fighting situations. I'm grateful to all for their sacrifices. Linda

I've always thought the remembrance candle was lit DURING the service, up front, in a little pause/ceremony. Just after or just before the vows, I don't remember. But the officiant makes a 2-sentence introduction, and pretty music is played, and the bride and groom go together to light the candle. of course, the only weddings i go to anymore are Catholic ones, and Catholics have the "light a candle as part of a prayer" tradition or rite. And so there's this quiet moment of prayer during the lighting--prayer of thanks for that person's life, prayer for comfort for those who miss him/her, and even prayer TO that person that they intercede before the throne of God on bride & groom's behalf. (an interesting part of the Catholic faith--shared by us Lutherans, I have found out--is that people who've died are still alive in heaven, and can add their prayers on our behalf to our own) Your son and his bride might ask their officiant what he/she thinks. If you light it before the ceremony begins or before the guests arrive, then those people don't get to participate in that moment of collective remembering. But of course, you can have your statement of sentiment steadily communicated. I don't think there's any hard-and-fast rule; just whatever they like.