jolanaweb I read the cynical responses to your request on the tree forum, and they made me so mad because they were being just down right rude to you. And so I posted a thread over here about their rudeness, and that's when jolanaweb jumped in too. Those people over there scare me. I think that the picture is of Jesus_ because he does look like a Marine. Both my boys are Army, but all the service guys look alike with the haircuts. Last Christmas when my son was here in Rockport, he asked a hair dresser to give him an Army haircut. She didn't have a clue as to what he was talking about. Sorry for getting off the subject. I don't want to get anyone upset with me like they have done on some other forums.

That is so precious. I hope you don't mind if I pass that along to some friends. PS: Thank you for the smiles Alexis

I wouldn't use the word "wrong", but I would call it perhaps short-sighted and lacking in awareness. You seem to have no idea HOW or WHY the problem between your children, your husband and yourself developed. Why is it that you don't have any insight into this? Have you ever tried counseling or even a good heart-to-heart with any of your kids? have you sat down and pondered what might be underlying their distance? (I'm not presuming you haven't, I am just asking.) The children you gave birth to are too important (and not just them themselves, but to YOU as their mother) to not probe this deeper. By insisting that you delve int the source of the problem, I am not necessarily assuming that your kids have a great reason for keeping their distance from you and your husband. Their reasons may range from completely valid to terribly selfish, or --if they're like most people--- some combination or somewhere in between. They would certainly not be the first children of divorce in blended families to have such mixed feelings, or to find it hard to connect with their role in the newly blended family. They also wouldn't be the first to have some unresolved anger, or an attitude about it, not necessarily because you or your husband have done anything so awful but simply because of the fact that their family is not what it once was. Often, unfortunately, this kind of deep-seated upset can manifest by the kids choosing ---consciously or unconsciously--- to keep their distance, knowing no other way to effectively deal with feelings they may not even fully recognize in themselves. You are asking for a reasonable amount of consideration from your kids, but I would ask on their behalf for a reasonable amount of consideration on your end as to what their underlying needs and feelings might be. I don't know your kids, but maybe you don't know them as well as you could, either. It's possible they truly are despicable oafs who are no longer worth your time or consideration. But wow, what a thing to say/feel about your own kids. Is that really how you want it? I doubt it, or you wouldn't be on here asking about it. I might also ask you at this point what sort of input your husband and stepchildren have on the matter of your kids. Do they encourage you to explore the issues or seek counseling or literature on the subject of blended families? Do they express any empathy for what it may feel like to have been in your kids' shoes, post-divorce? Are they welcoming when your kids are around? Basically: are they a force for trying to build bridges or do they encourage you to build walls? Again, I am not assuming they are or are not one way or the other... just that this can have a big impact on the cohesiveness of the blended family and either ease or exacerbate tensions and distance...

Good morning Heather. I have thrown several plants in the trash due to sheer exasperation. Nothing I did seemed to help. Some plants just don't get started in life very well. They never seem to get healthy, just barely hanging around, susceptible to every and any issue. Yours may be one of those. I apologize if I came on to strong regarding your MG fert. Sure, it's whats in the big box stores and what a good many people use. I did too for about a year. I couldn't figure out why I was constantly dealing with small fires within individual plants. I researched AV's on the net and discovered that AV's can be kind of picky about food. How much is to much and how much is to little. I discovered that the MG peat that I was using had food in it. The MG perlite that I was using had food in it and then I was watering w MG fertilizer. Too much fertilizer will really do a number on a AV. With so many sources of unknown strength food coming from so many directions, I was unable to consistently dial in the amount the plants needed. My opinion of MG products will not change but a good many growers like yourself may well be able to use them successfully. I was not one of those. Within a week of buying the "Espoma Organic Violet" food and discontinuing use of ANY MG products, all my plants made a sigh of relief and everything was good. The Espoma is available in every box store. It is a fish emulsion product that is no more expensive than MG. I no longer use it but I did for years because it was the only thing I could find in my area. I was only trying to be helpful. Sometimes I go a bit overboard. Sorry.