Don't get so wrapped up in planning and cooking the meal that you forget that Thanksgiving is a day for being thankful for your blessings and sharing your bounty with others. Whether you can celebrate with hot dogs or a turkey, the meaning is the same.

Empty out the dishwasher before you begin so you can clean as you go. Cuts down on clutter which could cause confusion when cooking so many different dishes.

If at all possible, have your grandmother around. Grandmothers know things-- like that there are sometimes organs stuck in the neck cavity of the turkey, how to make gravy, and when to start peeling potatoes.

Make your mashed potatoes ahead of time and keep them warm in the crock pot on low.

Get others to bring something but make it an entire category like appetizers or desserts. This removes two hole areas from your worry list so you can concentrate on the main course.

DO NOT ask people to bring side dishes as that will drive you nuts trying to figure out last minute oven space.

Remember that a frozen turkey needs three days to thaw in the refrigerator.

Don't do it!

(Oh, that's also my advice to people considering a kitchen remodel...)

Make lists, test new things ahead of time, and master the traditional items everyone likes even if they're old school before you do goofy/trendy renditions based on magazine articles and web sites. =)

Because there are often so many items being served, the sequence of events is the thing that has rattled me in the past. Not only do I create lists way ahead- shopping, who,what,and when, I also do all my cutting and measuring prep first thing in the morning (some the night before) and put it in bowls, cups, refrigerator, and label them accordingly if necessary. I don't want to cut or measure a thing during the "heat of the battle". Finally, the thing that makes all the difference for me is a "backwards" time list for every little thing I am going to do that day, from taking the bird out of the fridge to pulling it out of the oven and every little step in between.

I write down the time that I want to seat everybody and then work backwards from there, writing the start and finish time for each item. Not only do I write "11 AM- put bird in oven", but I also write a few specific times to check the temp. I include everything, "3:15- start potato water", etc.

The finished list allows me to get immersed in projects and conversations without losing control of the situation. As long as I monitor my list, I stay on track. Of course adjustments will occur but it's easily noted and tracked.

One final thought- the first few times I prepared TG dinner, the sticky item was the timing for cooking the turkey. I could never really get the timing down- it would cook too soon or cook too slowly. The too soon remedy is a tough one, although you have a little lee-way in that the bird can sit out for a little while while getting other things finished and if you had to reheating wouldn't be the end of the world. Taking too long to cook the bird is tough because a big crowd with kids can get pretty antsy. I remedy that by preparing a squash soup ahead of time that can be heated on the stove and served giving you a good 1/2 hour to finish the other stuff.

Have a blast!
michaelp

Linda stole my thought:) Although I am not a very sophisticated cook I tend to want to control everything. I won't let anyone help me unless I am completely floundering. I realized how off putting that was during my last visit to family up in Portland. My SIL recruited my assistance with everything and it was a great bonding experience for us. Accept help graciously if you can.

Kate

I put out my serving pieces/utensils and label them so I have them ready to go when I need to start plating things.

Ditto on the advice about two small turkeys rather than one big one. Also, brining birds prior to roasting will make them juicier.

And if you don't really want to wrestle with turkeys, a roasted capon is just as 'festive' and to my palate tastes better.

If I have a bunch of people over, I'll usually have an informal buffet of turkey, duck, capon...a lot of people eat turkey just because it's there and that's what's traditional. I could live the rest of my life without it, but that's just me.

Don't get too hung up on everything being according to Martha. And if you're really worried about how the turkey will turn out, 'outsource' it; my local Publix sells great smoked turkeys which just need to be warmed up in the oven, allowing you more time to make side dishes and mingle with your guests.

And remember the advice from Clark Griswold's dad in 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation': when the entire gathering had descended into chaos and turned to doo-doo, Clark (Chevy Chase) turns to his dad and said, "How'd you do it all those years?" The dad said, "I had a lot of help from a friend named Jack Daniels."

A first-time cook?

Before roasting the turkey, take the giblets package out of one end of the turkey; turn the turkey around and take the neck out of the other end.

Before roasting the turkey, take the giblets package out of one end of the turkey; turn the turkey around and take the neck out of the other end.

OMG!! LOL. THAT was ME the first time I roasted a chicken. EXCELLENT advice.

And two turkeys is a great idea as well. Cooking one the day before will give you the timing for the one cooked on Thanksgiving day.

Excellent, mustangs!

If this is your first time preparing the holiday feast, skip the fancy, time-consuming recipes and go for the tried and true ones that can be made ahead. Do as much ahead as possible: clean that silverware a week ahead, press the linens several days ahead, get a bag of ice in the freezer days ahead if you need it; breads, desserts, appetizers, congealed salads, can all be made ahead and frozen or kept chilled until the feast day.

Serve your appetizer/hot cider/wine etc. in another part of the house - not the kitchen or dining room. If you are having a large group, set out the pre-dinner offerings in two places if possible. Be sure to put out plenty of extra paper napkins. Appoint another person to be in charge of the food and drink in these areas.

Keep table decorations low and minimal so that people can see each other to talk and there will be room on the table.

Think about the non-food necessities: where will your guests put their coats, are there plenty of towels and extra toilet paper available in your bathroom, will you need to do something with the dog/cat to get them out of the way during the day, do you need to get in some extra folding tables or chairs, etc. etc.?

Remember to breathe and enjoy your guests and the day!

... and never let em see you sweat.

Don't invite crabby people.

Do as much as you can ahead of time. I make my pecan and pumpkin pies the week before and freeze. My cranberry relish , gravy and cornbread for the dressing are made a few days before. Two days before I make sure the house is alright, the day before I assemble the dressing and anything else that can be fixed, refrigerated and cooked the next day. Just be sure to take it out of fridge early enough for the dishes (if they are glass) come to room temp. I even make up my roll dough that evening and let it rise in the fridge overnight. Set the table the day or night before then swipe over the kitchen floor again and you are good to go.

We have Thanksgiving around lunch time and there is no way I could get up and get it all done. Sometimes I even make the tea the day before.

Stay calm, it is only a dinner!

It's ok to buy prepared foods, even grocery stores make a fine turkey and rolls. Every dish does not have to be homemade.

Clean out the fridge really well a week before and try not to open new jars of things that will be taking up space. That way you have room for the things you make in advance as well as for the left overs.

Same goes for the freezer.

And I left the 'innards' in my first turkey too. I didn't know to look in there!

Take it easy, so everyone is comfortable.

If you are tense, then the guest get that way.

Have a link to this forum in your "favorites". If you get stuck there are always plenty of friendly helpful people here to give you advice (or a much needed laugh or shoulder).

Alexa

Set the table a day ahead of time. Or two.

If someone offers to bring dessert, let them do it as long as it won't take up oven or fridge space.

Assign someone else to be the bartender and make sure they know where everything is so they're not asking you just as you take the turkey out of the oven.

Have plenty of ice on hand.

Make as much as you can in advance and clean up as you go.

Simmer the giblets (that's the innards packed in the plastic bag that's stowed in the bird's neck) in water and use the broth to make more flavorful gravy.

Wear good thick comfy shoes so your legs don't get tired.

Keep it simple and try to relax.

I am absolutely a fan of the "two small turkeys" club. Actually, with my family, we can get away with one turkey, fairly small (a 12 pounder). I also believe in organic, free range birds. I thought a turkey would be so difficult, but a small bird is easy peasy. Big birds are scary, from a cooking evenly point of view and also from the point of view of their breeding and being raised. Keep it simple the first time, just roast. That's what I did and it was fab! I buy gravy, and only occasionally do mashed potatoes. My family likes roasted sweet potatoes, so I'm lucky. I agree that it is OK to buy pre-made stuff at the grocery store, keep the complicated dishes for the old hands who are bored with the basics and have an adventurous family. I tried to be adventurous for years and got nothing but complaints from my uber picky dad and brother. Don't go there, it's not worth it. Be happy with bland things everyone likes. Simple fresh food lovingly prepared is good enough. Mrs. Smith's frozen pies rock, lol!

If you want to do somthing ahead, make up some plates of nibblies for folks to munch on between meals during the day-popular things at our house was a bowl of nuts in the shell with a nutracker, and homeade chex mix (or just buy some). Also cheese and crackers and fruit, fresh and dried. Mulled wine or cider in the crockpot--again, easy and fun. I make my mulled cider with some cranapple juice thrown in, slice up an orange and stick it with a few cloves and add some cinnamon sticks and a slice of candied ginger. I always get raves. Have some apple jack on hand for those who like a little kick if you want to go there.

The most important thing is don't feel pressure to do something fancy and exciting. Stick with what you like to make and feel comfortable doing. Now is the time for your tried and trues, not some fussy experiment.

Oh yea - I need to add another piece of advice.... do NOT do the Deep Fried Turkey the first time out!

Alexa

Buy a meat thermometer. It's better than guessing if the bird's done or not.

Tracey

Tamara:
No Big thing !!! Just tell everyone it's your first time,
Cooking a ThanksGiving Dinner and
You are really worried about getting everything just right.
Maybe some will Volunteer to bring Food ,
maybe even a Cooked Turkey.

See that !!! Easy wasn't it ???
- - - - - - - - - -

OR !

You could Bake a Turkey the " Old Traditional " way.
Very easy !!!

Traditional Roast Turkey

Directions
Prepare desired stuffing; set aside.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Remove giblets and neck from turkey; reserve for making Giblet Gravy.
Rinse turkey inside and out with cold running water and drain well; pat dry with paper towels .

Loosely spoon some stuffing into neck cavity. Fold neck skin over stuffing; fasten neck skin to turkey back with one or two skewers.

{{!gwi}}

Loosely spoon remaining stuffing into body cavity
(bake any leftover stuffing in small covered casserole during last 30 minutes of roasting time).
Fold skin over cavity opening; skewer closed, if necessary.
Tie legs and tail together with string, push drumsticks under band of skin, or use stuffing clamp.
Secure wings to body with string, if desired.
I put a thermometer into the stuffing, just under the breast, and Bake til 165 Deg.

{{!gwi}}

Place turkey, breast side up, on rack in large roasting pan (17-inch by 11 1/2-inch).
Sprinkle salt, pepper and Garlic Powder on outside of turkey. Cover with loose tent of foil or
in a Roasting Pan with a lid.

I bake it right in the pan and add a cup of water.
Roast about 3 hours 45 minutes. Start checking for doneness during last hour of roasting.
To brown turkey, remove foil during last hour of roasting and
baste occasionally with pan drippings.
Turkey is done when temperature on meat thermometer inserted in thickest part of thigh,
next to body, reaches 180 degrees F to 185 degrees F and juices run clear when thickest part of thigh is pierced with tip of knife.
(Breast temperature should be 170 degrees F to 175 degrees F, stuffing temperature 160 degrees F to 165 degrees F.)

On this one, the Breast temp button popped and the stuffing temp was 165 Deg.

While turkey is roasting, prepare giblets and neck to use in Giblet Gravy.
Transfer turkey to large platter; keep warm. Let stand at least 15 minutes to set juices for easier carving.

{{!gwi}}

Meanwhile, prepare Giblet Gravy.
Serve turkey with stuffing and gravy. Makes 14 main-dish servings.

Tamara:
This sounds like a lot but it is all words. It don't take long at all to prepare.
Lou

I forgot! The Italian Chicken Wedding Soup. With little meatballs.

You can make that ahead of time and freeze it.
Along with desserts and other things.
LOU

When you get up in the morning, get fully dressed for the day before you begin cooking - & use an apron. Otherwise, you may put it off to the last minute - & end up greeting guests in your bathrobe! Been there, done that!

Blasphemy!
I pardoned the turkey long ago.
Let's be honest, no one likes turkey. That's why you cannot find turkey in a good restaurant, that's why you don't have turkey as often as all the other meats, that's why no one buys turkey unless it's Thanksgiving.
I used to have a nearby restaurant roast the turkey for me. Not too expensive. Saved a lot of work.
I do Chicken, duck, goose, beef, lobsters, shrimps ------ for Thanksgiving. Everyone is happy. No turkey sandwiches for the next three months.

Gobble Gobble Garble

:-)

dcarch

I always fix my turkey the day before. I also bake it breast down. Take the turkey meat off the bones and have it ready in the refrigerator. On Thanksgiving, warm it up and it is very good. I use a different recipe than most. I also shape my yeast rolls and have them frozen, ready to thaw and bake. Potatoes are peeled and put in the refrigerator with water and lemon juice ready to cook the next day and then they are put in the crock pot. Candied sweet potatoes are partly fixed and frozen some time ahead, finished up after thawing the day of. All the gals in our family pitch in and bring lots of food. Know what you are going to fix, and plan to fix as much as you can ahead of time.

Sue

I have to agree with you Sue. I always make pork on Thanksgiving. My husband loathes turkey and won't touch the stuff. Myself I would probably prefer some homemade pizza over turkey or pork but that's just me. If it is just my husband and I at home for Thanksgiving this year I may make a roast instead.

Kate

On one hand, I have to agree with you, dcarch! Make what your family really likes.
On the other hand.........mine really LOVES turkey!!
What'cha gonna do? :-)

Over the years, I've simplified.
I used to make everything imaginable...from scratch.
I'd start 3 days ahead of time and spend my evenings (after full-time day job) prepping stuff.

No more! I do prep the night before. I cook the giblets and make my stuffing and put it in a big bowl in the fridge.
I boil eggs, make a veggie tray and/or relish/pickle tray.

I make pies a week or two ahead and freeze them....or get someone else to bring a dessert. Depends on who is attending and if they want to.

On THE DAY, I stuff the turkey and get it in the oven (read...out of the way).
Make sweet potatoes (sometimes roasted, sometimes candied), these are "on hold" until the bird comes out.
Devil the eggs, refrigerate.
Peel the white potatoes (IF we have them) about an hour before the turkey is done. Boil, mash, season, into serving bowl (if they get cold, that's OK, I'll nuke 'em).
Open home canned green beans and put into serving bowl to be nuked later.
When it's time, take the turkey out and pop the sweet potatoes in (oven goes to 400 degrees).
Tent the turkey.
Get SOMEONE ELSE to pull salads, eggs, etc. from fridge and put on the table.
Drain pan drippings and start heating for gravy.
Pop rolls (if we have them) in with the sweets.
Slice turkey and platter.
Thicken gravy.
Nuke beans and potatoes if needed.
Pull rolls and sweets from oven.
Plop it all on the table and eat.

And ya know what..............if that darned relish tray is still in the fridge when you put away leftovers........maybe you didn't need it anyway!! :-)

We're pretty casual.
Reduce the number of things that need attention in the last hour.
Use T & T dishes.
Accept help.
Assign dishes for family to bring, especially if they're good cooks!! I've got one member who always brings canned olives.........it's best that way!! :-)
Others make homemade bread, pumpkin cheesecakes, etc.
Let them do what they're good at.
Chips and dip works for some. Let them!
If you write out your menu, then see if others want to bring something, you can just scratch that off of your "to-do" list. Still sticks with the menu.

On the other hand, I've got in-laws that will bring a store-bought shrimp ring and Doritos as an unplanned contribution to a Prime Rib Dinner...sigh.........
I just put them on the table with everything else or turn it quickly into an appetizer.

It's NOT about the food. It's about the PEOPLE.
Most of all, give thanks! For food, family, friends, freedom. Many cannot.

Deanna

There are a lot of really great suggestions here already. Over the many years that have passed since I was a first-time cook at Thanksgiving, I have collected recipes that allow me to cook some things ahead so everything doesn't have to be done on the same day. I'm one of those people who doesn't have double ovens or a 6 burner stove and 2 refrigerators, etc. Plans, lists - visualization.

Start early. I write down the menu, get out the recipes and make notes about how far ahead I can make each dish. I check to see what ingredients I don't have in the house and make a grocery list. I usually divide the grocery list up into "buy ahead" and "buy fresh".

I like to set a very special table and have fun with the decorations. It only happens once a year, you know!!Decide on the table(s) and seating, table settings/linens and serveware well ahead of time. If you have special occasion china, it might need to be washed. If you have silver pieces, you might have to do some polishing. I put little post-it notes in my serving dishes to label the food going in them.

And it can be exhausting. Be sure to leave some time to relax, put your feet up and BREATHE so that you're not so exhausted you can't enjoy the holiday.

seagrass

*Do as much as possible ahead of time*. I set the table two days ahead and cover it with a clean sheet. Kitchen is also decluttered at that time. Pies, stuffing (all ready for Tom), side veggies, coffee maker are ready to go by the evening before.

Like others have mentioned, a list, including 'chores' for each particular day are helpful in the Thanksgiving day countdown.

When you have the oven on in the weeks before Turkey Day, add a bowl of Wondra type flour in, allowing it to brown. Take care that it doesn't burn.
When time to thicken the gravy, the browned flour will make a big flavor difference.
Buy turkey wings, turkey necks and/or turkey legs early on and start making turkey stock for the freezer. Thaw a day before your meal (or the day of) and add it to the turkey drippings. (After removing most of the grease.)

I agree, do as much ahead of time as you can. I bake pies and dinner rolls the day before, make salads that can be refrigerated and side dishes that can go into the oven or microwave as the turkey is resting.

Don't forget the sweet potatoes that you put into the microwave to reheat, I do that every darned year.

But most importantly, don't forget to be thankful. Thankful to spend time with your family and friends, thankful that you have a dinner on the table, thankful for your healthy, happy group around your table. Oh, and especially thankful that you have this one last day before all the Christmas carp starts in earnest.....

Annie

Hi All!

After reading all the responses its clear the best advice is to do as much in advance as possible...ask for and accept help...wear comfy shoes and get a good nights sleep.

Seriously though, its only supper.
When its all said and done the best part about Thanksgiving aside from gathering with your loved ones, is the turkey sandwich you make at about 10pm in your bathrobe after everyone leaves!! Keep your chin up its all gonna be fine LOL!!

Cheers!
Susie

Sometimes, the leftovers are just too much and we like to send our guests/family home with "doggie bags".

Have "take home" containers available, whether it's Ziplock plastic or Chinette plates and extra tin foil.

It was not a Thanksgiving party, but it was a big party that I planned. Many guests were from out of town.

Two refrigerators were packed with food.
The night before, we had a big blackout which lasted for three days.

It's a very fortunate thing. I have an emergency power generator, which powered up everything, lights, frig, music, -----

Many guests were late to the party because of traffic. All traffic lights were out in the entire area.

The part was a blast. The neighbors were mad that not only we had power, we actually had a big party.

You never know what you have to deal with :-)

dcarch

I have tried all types of turkeys and preperations - Amish, organic, brined, herbed, upside-down, etc. - and the best I have found is a regular Butterball turkey prepared according to their own directions. It is not unique or creative, but it is tasty and reliable.

Williams-Sonoma gravy is very very good.

Everyone likes this recipe for make-ahead mashed potatoes from All Recipes...

INGREDIENTS

* 5 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes, cubed
* 2 (3 ounce) packages cream cheese
* 8 ounces sour cream
* 1/2 cup milk
* 2 teaspoons onion salt
* ground black pepper to taste

DIRECTIONS

1. Place potatoes in a large pot of lightly salted water. Bring to a boil, and cook until tender, about 15 minutes. Drain, and mash.
2. In a large bowl, mix mashed potatoes, cream cheese, sour cream, milk, onion salt, and pepper. Transfer to a large casserole dish and refrigerate overnight.
3. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C) and bring potatoes to room temperature.
4. Cover, and bake for 50 minutes in the preheated oven.

Lastly, when I schedule my time for the day I try to find a one hour chunk of time where I can just put my feet up and relax before guests come. I never get the full hour, but scheduling an hour gets me at least 20 minutes that is so refreshing!

Nicole

Lots of good advice here! Have your favorite bottle of wine or drink on hand to keep you calm! Try not to stress. Even those who have been making Thanksgiving dinner for years will forget something and /or some dish will be ready way too early and another way later than expected. This is all part of Thanksgiving. It happens to everyone!

Nicole:
Sounds good !!!
I don't know what everyone is making such a fuss about.
I cook mostly everything myself.

While the Turkey is baking, I throw in the Candied Sweet Potatoes,or some others like your's.

Desserts are in the freezer and taken out a day ahead.
Guests bring pies and other things too.

I let my Daughters do little things like the Salad, mixed veggies, Beets etc.,
just to keep them out of my hair.
I don't have too much left.

Sometimes we have Turkey and Ham, to please the different tastes.

One time we had 35 for dinner.
Had a 22 lb. Turkey and a 22lb. Lb. Ham.
Did most of the cooking for that one too !!!
Not bragging , just the facts.

Everything looked so good on the table, they didn't want to disturb it and Carve the Turkey.

Have Photo's of that one some where in the Archives,
but it was taken with 35 MM.

Tamara:
Don't worry about anything just do it !!!
If you run into trouble call the cops.
Lou

Make Resevations!! LOL!!!

This is eye opening! It sounds like a lot of people are responsible for most/all of Thanksgiving. In my family, it's a pretty even division. Well, between the women. Whoever is hosting usually makes the Turkey. My mom brings cranberry-orange relish and chestnut stuffing, my grandma brings cabbage salad and mashed potatoes and makes the gravy before dinner, my one aunt brings sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top. I bring pies (I have no idea how this became my lot in life. I am TERRIBLE at pie crusts.) My sister brings a can of cranberry sauce and a cheesecake. She is also in charge of making sure the can of cranberry sauce gets out onto a plate in a perfect cylinder. This is a strangely important/feared task in my family, and she sometimes has to call for additional tools and/or backup. Someone is usually responsible for assigning odds and ends like a green vegetable, rolls, whatever. I thought it was like this for everyone! I can't even imagine making an entire Thanksgiving dinner, but I think I'd pick my four favorite dishes. There would be some turkey, chestnut stuffing, mashed potatoes, and homemade cranberry sauce. The end. There would definitely not be pies :-D

I was scrolling through responses to second "make reservations!" I did that for many years and just in the past few have gone back to making the dinner myself. Stress free. No cleaning. And for me I have always found it to be much cheaper than shopping and cooking. It's reservations again this year for us. It will just Alice and I this year. Daniel will be gone on a long sailing trip and he is the one who loves my cooking the most. My heart's not in it.

I've always made the big holiday meals, I regularly had 40 or 45 for Christmas Eve and did all the cooking, but I loved it, so it wasn't an issue.

It's all in what you like to do, I'd never consider reservations for a holiday dinner, even if it were only Elery and I. I'd still make dinner, it would not feel like a holiday meal to me, sitting in a restaurant somewhere. I might as well skip it if it isn't important enough to make some effort for.

Annie

Bumping because it is timely :-)

I have another sort of silly piece of advice-- if you want your food to be appreciated, bring an appetizer. New main dishes tend to drown in a sea of other food at our Thanksgiving table. Last year I brought soup, everyone ate it, and like four or five people individually told me they loved it. It was very gratifying!

Like Jessica, everyone in our family has their specialty and it is pretty much pot luck except for the turkey and mashed potatoes. The host normally takes care of those items, but the rest of us make the other side dishes, appetizers and desserts. I even make gravy in advance so it only has to be rewarmed (roasted turkey wings, chicken stock, etc.).