If you get another chance I'd just say you're right about the first half and BTW, check your hair - you missed a spot! But the reality is, she's a jerk. Let it go. People like that aren't worth it. What's the saying? It's mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't matter.

Then again... if you're really in the mood.... :D stand straight, look her in the eye and say "Well fatso, drop a hundred pounds and quit using a color crayon on your hair and you wouldn't look so much like Fred Flintstone! Sorry Fred..."

Then compliment her on her alligator shoes... then ask why she'd wear pumps (or tennis shoes, overshoes or whatever) OVER them! Turn and walk away with a Mona Lisa grin on your face. >:D

Why do you want to know?

"I may be fat, but I don't color my hair."

I'd laugh and say "neither do I."

She can't get under your skin if you don't let her ... so don't let her! There's no reason for you to stoop to her level of pettiness.

Turn around and walk away.

Cock your head to one side, squint your eyes and say...
NOTHING ! Walk away shaking your head.

Trin

You could say something like "Well I can look better with dyed hair in just 20 minutes, how long would it take yuo to be not fat?" of course you wouldn't say such things best to just walk away. and who is she o bother you for so many years?

I totally agree with jennmonkey.

But, I'd probably be so stumped that someone would say such a stupid thing, I'd probably just say "Huh? What does hair dye and weight have to do with each other?" and leave it at that.

Dont waste your time on someone so stupid.

Absolutely!! don't waste your time. She's obviously jealous and troubled. Let it go and let her go. Ridiculous!

I'd be wordless I am sure!
Dont let her get your goat! She doesn't deserve friends IMO!

Trin gave the best response, Cock your head to one side, squint your eyes and say...
NOTHING ! Walk away shaking your head.

I like Trin's answer too. But on an off day, I might have said "What? What are you talking about"? And then I would stand there and stare at her and wait to see what she'd say.

That's pretty much what I did, but I'm not sure I'm not sorry I didn't "stoop to her level" just a little :o) Not really...yes, I have now cut all ties with her...I have friends who I care about and who actually care about me...who needs that kind of thing. But..it still must be rankling me or I wouldn't have made this post...I need to move on, I'm sure.

Ignorance - don't give it the time of day. Leave it.

It's tough if you have to be around folks like that, and even harder not to respond and have them react because you aren't paying them attention. But, keep your head and wits about you. Play as she does - IGNORANT, as in INGNORE IT.

BTW, why would that bother you; or rather, how could a conversation get to that level? Adults, or what?

miles of smiles to ya.

gneegirl

I've always like the one....

Well I might be fat too but I'm not ugly and I can diet.

good one ron....I'd have to consult a dictionary for a definiton, and then, learn how to pronounce it.!

maybee...You don't need someone like that as a "friend".
She seems bitter about something.

Everytime you see her, in the future, just look at her hair and laugh. What a petty,twit of a woman. Aren't you glad that you aren't her and don't you feel sorry for her husband? Thinking like that always cheers me up. lolol

I'd also suggest as Trin said. Walk away, shaking your head. Hopefully, she'll get the "hint". Either then, or when you have/had cut all ties with her, she'll figure it out. Sounds like a very sad, insecure person to me.

People like that don't deserve your time (or friendship).

Think I'd reply with...."Do you walk to work or take your lunch?"....confuse the heck out of her.

I don't know what I would say. I might say, "Well, maybe you should." Or, I might say, "F you."

I can't imagine someone saying that to me out of the blue unless I pointed out that they were fat, which I wouldn't do because I don't care if someone is fat or not. It isn't any of my business. If someone said that to me right out of the blue...that I had considered my friend, I would re think my friendship, and definitely cut her loose.

i would probably say 'well this hair dye will grow out in a couple of months, will you be skinny in a couple of months'

"I may be fat, but I don't color my hair."

Reply:Are you bragging or complaining?

My question is what brought that on? Did someone chide this person about being fat in the first place? That's the only reason I could see for her to strike back.

There are some great comebacks here...Ron's is holding first choice with me but chemo's, and justlindas had me LOL!! I've used Pattico's line with my brother for years cause he always has a comment about my weight...he's gotten nicer as he's gotten holder and saw how he was really hurting my feelings...

amazes me what comes out of peoples mouths somedays...

Goodbye.

Years ago when I was taking psychology our instructor told us to throw back the question on a rude person. You could ask her "Did that make you feel better to ask me that question?" "Are you feeling bad about yourself?" (after you have ask her the question) --- You could say something like, " I am here for you if you want to talk." Take the offensive and not the defensive role.. avoid even mentioning the part about the hair dye. You may save a friendship and find out it has nothing to do with YOU and everything to do with her having a poor self image or just a rotten day, or even jealously of you. All of what a kind spirit on your part can make you a better person and also her.

I am certain that you are fat, but are you sure that my hair is dyed?

There have been some really good replies. I would probably write down your favorites and read them over and over so you can use one the next time it happens ... no doubt there *will* be a next time.

Here's my contribution:

Do you also insult total strangers or just those who used to be your friend?

my favorite response...

"and your point is...???"

usually shuts them up nicely. I don't even say it sarcastically (okay only a little).

Vickey-MN

No....there's not going to be a next time. I've cut all ties and that's the end of that.

What brought this on??? Well, what I "think" brought it on was this scenario: We had been shopping and it was very cold. I had on my big ol, fuzzy purple, oversized coat, and I think she fantasized that I was filling that coat out or something..all seemed to be well until we decided to stop for coffee and I took my coat off. She reacted strongly when I did that...I noticed the reaction, but went on like nothing had happened. She then made the remark and I was dumbfounded..yes, it was out of the blue. I just had on a plain navy t-shirt and jeans. My husband said it was too bad I hadn't thought of her jealousy and worn something "really" flashy. But..I'm not that kind of person, and don't think to do that sort of thing to hurt someone...I would never (well I might now) flaunt the fact that she out weighs me a hundred and twenty pounds...I just don't think along that line with people....but, I sure will with her in the future. But...I'm not planning on having anything to do with her at all.....

I hate it when I can't give a good comeback..only to think of one later..so frustrating.

However, if I hadn't been caught speechless, I would've said, F... You, or bye bye fat B!tch while throwing hot coffee on her fat self.

Ahhh, I feel better now; hope you do, too, Maybee. :)

Oh yes, and just remember how good it feels to be able to lose weight and keep it off...Kudos to you!

I'd walk away too. And not bother with her anymore. She still has some growing up to do which I'm sure you've figure out by now, ain't gonna happen.

When I should have had a clue:

Her sister was very heavy...probably over three hundred pounds and having health problems. She opted for gastric by-pass surgery to get the weight off. The one who said this to me, voiced out loud her fear that this sister's surgery would be successful and she would no longer be the smallest sister. That also left me speechless. She then went about it to sabotage this sister's weight loss mind set...and she succeeded. She would rather have her sister fat and dead than smaller than she is....I guess I've finally realized I'm dealing with a wacko here. Nope..I don't need this in my life. I was never as heavy as she is in the first place, but I got down to my goal weight because, I guess, I got scared. My system just won't handle excess weight..I did it for myself and no one else. I could go back for years and relate things that "should" have wisened me up about her, but better late than never....she's in the wind as far as I'm concerned

Granlan...you've said that you lost weight....how did "you" do it and how are you doing at maintaining? I LOVE candy and sweets, but I've learned I can only indulge that love a little now and then....

I would not have been able to say anything because I just can't imange someone even saying something so stupid.....I am proud of you for keeping the weight off and also for realizing you don't need someone in your life like that....Hugs....STacy

Maybee, in 1978, I got down to a normal weight (about 135 or so). It took me a total of about 5 yrs. to lose the old fashioned way..portion control and dancing was my primary exercise. My top weight was around 320!!

Wish I could say I've kept all the weight off, but right now, I need to lose 50 lbs.

Sweets are my downfall as well. At my weakest moments, I find I can't even keep sugar in the house..or anything else I can turn into dessert or sweet snacks. Guess I'm a 'weak sister'. :(

Turn away and say nothing. Find someone else to talk to. No one needs a downer like that!

Well, you could say, "and......?" or "What's that have to do with the price of cherries in Hawaii?" if you have to respond, do as my mom would, she could deliver a direct hit without ever raising her voice, swearing or using even a sarcastic tone of voice. sometimes it could take many minutes for people to realize just exactly what happened. I loved it. She made her point without ever getting personal or nasty, but the person was completely shut down and made speechless.
Katlan

My DH uses this when someone is bragging. He lets them go on and on and when they pause to look for a reaction he mildly says, "How nice for you," and changes the subject.

Maybee, I asked what brought it on because it was such an off-the-wall statement. I am no Skinny-Minnie myself. Even though I did Plus-size petite modeling back in Dallas, you wouldn't believe comments people have said to me over the years. There was the usual "you cary your weight well" - what exactly does that mean? One of the classics said to me was: "You don't smell like other large people do - you know, they have an odor" to which I replied, "That's because I shower. There are also plenty of thin people who don't have good personal hygiene." There are stupid people everywhere. I'm sorry this happened to you.

maybee, I know exactly what you mean - something such as that just keeps grating on you. I think now that you have posted this, it won't bother you as much.

You sure have some great responses here, don't you!

Kathleen

Yes, and I appreciate them one and all....and it "did" make feel better to get it off my chest :o)

It "was" an off-the-wall thing to say and I think that is why I was so speechless. She has accused me of coloring my hair before (what's it to her?) and it makes her very angry when I say I don't color my hair...and then she just couldn't seem to take the weight loss. She waited, I think, in the hopes that I would put it back on, but she must have tired of the wait...it's been going on five years. So...she thought she could "snipe" at me. Well, that isn't going to happen again...I will no longer have conversations with her....ever

I had to laugh a while ago...there was an ad on television for the childrens' movie, Madagaskar. Someone asked the hippo, "Who's your friend." and then says, "Or is that your butt?" I wish I had seen that before this conversation took place. Although I "might" not have used it because I don't make comments about someone's looks even if they deserve it...but, I was thinking that would have been a great come back :o)

missindia.....you just never seem to be able to forget that kind of statement, do you? I'll bet you know just who said it to you...things like that, you don't forget

There are some people in life you just have to let go. Some are harder than others, always sad, but better for your well being.

I had to let go of one of my best friends that was always wanting to badger me like that. I miss her, and love thinking of the fun we used to have. I just had to let her move on.

Trin

Hi maybee ... or maybee not,

I'm "dye-ing" to think of an answer for you.

ole joyful

How about:

Did you enjoy saying that? Make sure you have a sweet smile and direct eye contact and don't move. lol lol

That's a good one, yayagal.

The only trouble, yaya, is that she obviously "did" enjoy saying it, so I wouldn't have given her the chance to say, "Yeah, I did....but, I wasn't talking about you." Or..something like that...

trin? Why do you think someone does that sort of thing? Do you think "they" no longer want to be friends or they just think they can needle you and you will take it forever? And..if a person "is" a friend, they wouldn't feel the need to needle a person. Hard to put into words...

You don't forget those comments, Maybee, but as my mother used to say, "Consider the source". I don't remember the person who said it, but I do remember the comment. Years ago, I started a small "feel-good" journal. Whenever I got a really good compliment over anything (work-related, personal, stranger comment) I would write it in this journal with the date and go back and read it. I found it the other day. It made me feel good to re-read those comments. We always remember the bad stuff people say - I wanted to make sure I remember the good stuff!

I think I would have liked to say..."yes, you are".
Plain, simple, and agreeing with her.

All too often it's, well, "better" to forget it and let it go, but in reality, all too often it's tough to do. That's why I firmly believe it's good to SAY some of these things, to relieve yourself. Not say it to her, but relive the moment, which you have many times, then give a good comeback! Feel good about it and you'll be able to move on more easily. Some people need a slap in the face now and then. Nothing wrong with doing them a favor either. Take care of yourself and the people you care about.