Second marriage - and a happy story

16 years ago

First marriage went belly-up after 24 years. Gosh, what a sad story that was. He had problems and I finally insisted that he get help. He said that getting help was too much work.

End of that story.

Second marriage happened five years later. Within a few weeks of that marriage, I feared that I'd made a mistake. I mean, I was *terrified*. He and I seemed to have one problem after another and all the adjustments and compromising were wearing me down to a nub.

And in retrospect, I think that after one failed marriage, you get a little gun-shy.

And then about a year into it, my daughter made me a grandmother. And when we went out to visit the new baby (in Illinois), I saw my husband with the new baby. Watching him with this child touched me to tears. And that's when all that fear just melted away like fog in the morning sunlight. It was then that I knew that I had not made a mistake. I picked a keeper. :)

I mean, look at this:

Here is a link that might be useful: The rest of the story

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Comments (9)

vintagegardener
16 years ago
WOW I only come on here to read and this is the first time I have posted on the marriage forum.That is a great pic and I can actually see the love in his eyes for that baby.I clicked on your link and read your story.It is very touching and wonderful.

Yeah you are right you do have a keeper.Good luck on your marriage and congratulations on the beautiful new baby.Thanks for posting a beautiful story.
sweeby
16 years ago
Is there any man more attractive than one who is deeply in love with his wife?
The only one who even comes close is one who's ga-ga over a tiny baby.

You got yourself a keeper there Rosemary ;-)
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tracystoke
16 years ago
sorry but i think pictures mean absolutly nothing,i have some of the most beautifull pics of my kids dad holding them as babys,he looks really genuine,besotted and emotional.but in reality he his the biggest,fowlist,violent,person you could imagine
sweeby
16 years ago
...and yet, you picked him.
finedreams
16 years ago
i believe that OP has a good husband, and it is nothing to do with pictures. I wouldn't trust pictures. i have a pic of me with old BF he looks like the most loving and gentle man hugging me, he was awful, just awful, i ran way and never looked back. but my whole family were rather impressed with him, he pretended well. they thought i am crazy leaving such a great guy. ha, he was a liar and a jerk. photographed well though. LOL

on the other hand I have pics of my exhusband with DD, and it is really touching, and he looks very much in love wiht his baby. but that's how he is, he is very involved with his children and is sincerelly affectionate and loving father (was not a good husband though -very inconsiderate).

My dad is loving dad and grandpa, and generally is a good man but he is a very very diffcult person and is a very difficult husband. my mom deserves a medal. I wouldn't be able to live wiht my dad for a day let alone whole life. I know some more men who are great fathers or grandfathers but aren't very good husbands.
tracystoke
16 years ago
sorry finedreams for being nasty in the past,you have been through alot,i shouldnt of judged.life is hard.As for sweeby.i never picked him.`ive learnt to not comment unless youve been there.so have you been there.unless you have lived the awfal life like i have .please dont judge
amyfiddler
16 years ago
Apparently the message might have been lost in all this -

Rosemary, thank you for sharing your story. It was uplifting to me, and I "get" that it's not about a photograph. It was about a moment of clarity after struggling with trust issues resulting from being hurt before.

Just so happens that your clarity was archived by a photograph, and you chose to share it with us. Thank you for that -

Amy
rosemaryt
Original Author
16 years ago
Thanks for the nice responses. I agree that looks can be deceiving and so can photos, but my point is, this photo captured the hubby's essence and that's why I cherish it so much.

There are so many ill-behaved men in the world that I thought I'd share the happy news that there are a few good guys out there. :)

Rose
marysdottir
16 years ago
Congratulations on finding this keeper and becoming a new grandmother.

And congratulations, too, on being open to having that moment of clarity when you saw him with the baby. Many are so afraid and "gun shy" that even when the truth is staring us in the face we still focus on the flaws and grab at any reason to head for the hills. Marriage is a commitment and a challenge and even in the best ones there are days you want to tear out your hair but focussing on the good and letting the irritating go is the only recipe for happiness I know.

It's a lovely picture. Thanks for sharing. (By the way, he's cute, too! Lucky you!)

Second marriage - and a happy story

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