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ruthanna_gw

Marriage Counseling?

ruthanna_gw
21 years ago

Did you ever go to a Marriage Counselor? DH and lived together before we were married and used to verbally fight Âlike cats and dogsÂ, as my grandma would say, and it seemed like we disagreed on every little thing. But we really loved each other even if we didnÂt always get along so we decided to go to a marriage counselor to see if we could figure out how to work things out because if we couldnÂt, we didnÂt think we should get married. We learned in the first session that we were both highly competitive people and never liked to lose, only to win so for example, if we disagreed about something as simple as where to go to dinner, nobody wanted their choice to lose so we would ended up staying home. We went to a total of 3 sessions and by the third had figured out that just like in our business dealings where no one wanted to be a loser, we had to turn the problem into a win-win situation. IÂm relating this because that was more than 25 years ago and just this weekend a situation came up that made me realize that weÂre still following that advice. There was a big car show in the next town with great fireworks and I wanted to go see them. DH said too crowded, too much traffic, etc. and didnÂt want to go. So we took our 5 minutes to think of a win-win solution and after about 3 minutes, DH said that there was a giant hill behind our church that should have a great view of the fireworks so why didnÂt we pack a picnic dinner and go up there to watch them? We did and had a great time and both got what we wanted  me to see the fireworks and no sitting in traffic for him. Right after we got married, we returned for 2 sessions on handling finances jointly instead of individually (ended up setting joint goals but keeping separate charge cards and checking accounts and no joint accounts). We returned for a session or two about every 7 or 8 years for specific help like how to not let your first teenager drive you nuts (LOL) and the cost was minimal for what we gained out of it to keep our life running smoothly together. Have any of you had any experiences with counseling? And how did it work out?

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