Hi Zaira- I understand your frustration and hurt.. your spouse seems to be different but not disclosing to you what is "going on" with him. I don't think anyone here is going to be able to tell you what is happening, of course, but there are some things you can think of... What does your gut tell you? Is there something going on with your husband that is related to job stress, other-members-of-your-family stress, home stress, etc? Did the two of you live together before marriage or could he finally be reacting to the tremendous life change that comes with living with a person (beloved wife though you may be) for the first time? Does he suffer from depression? Is it realistic to think he is cheating? I certainly don't want to put any upsetting thoughts in your head but your post is fairly vague... Absoloutely nothing could be going on with him: perhaps he doesn't even realize his actions have changed. Have you talked with him at all about your concerns? Don't jump to conclusions without at least attempting to talk calmly and honestly with him. But address it soon because the longer you wait the greater the divide between you will grow. Trust me. My husband and I made that very mistake and we are paying for it now. Best of luck to you.

You usually have to bring more than your ID (think Birth certificate or passport and SS card) I believe it varies by state or county. You should call your town or county office and ask them what you need to bring. You also have to bring your checkbook and your Fiance!! -renee

Latest on our family saga: son has stopped one credit card that she had -- wasn't in her name, but she apparently had taken it and was able to use it. He has turned off internet connection, cable, and phones. A worrisome event was when her daughter started screaming at our 8 yr old granddaughter: "Your daddy is an Axx Hxxx...aren't you real proud of him now?" And the mother chimed in more obscenities. Our son immediately took our granddaughter back to her mother. She also called the police to make he didn't evict her. I'm doing a bit of checking on her, not sure what it will prove, other than if something turns up that shows she's done something like this before. She has lied about so many things -- it's just incredible. We were told the daughter was a straight A student, and was going to graduate ahead of her classmates. Intially she was quiet, but pleasant, so I overlooked the other things. Now we found out she hasn't even been in school full time for 2 years. She should be a junior, but doesn't even have enough credits to be classified as a sophmore. Her mother played a game with the school districts -- telling the one she should have gone to, that they moved, and she was enrolled in a different school. Guess they all fell for it. Yes, she used the word "hate" in reference to her feelings about family and former friends. Also told me her sister is a "psycho" -- maybe it runs in the family. Flower, thanks for the advice about NAMI. I will give them a call, and let you know what they say. Unfortunately our son lives 1000 miles from any other family, so we aren't close by, but have told him we will get on a plane whenever he needs us. I am a prayerful person, and lots of prayers are being said this week.

Hey K-J!! You are so right! However, the government isn't the only entity looking at the $$$. Marriage is a relationship, just like the friendships we have with others. The only reason it gets ugly is because of the give and take when things get sticky. In similar situations with our friends, we may stop speaking for some time or 4ever. But we don't try to take someone to the cleanss or expect to trade what each has put into the friendship. But we do have that opportunity when considering divorce. It's like punitive damages - whatever you feel you deserve. The judge then decids whether you are worth the amount you want. The only real difference is that entire lives have centered around the kids and marriage and I guess the consequences of starting over. Add that to hurt feelings, and you have an ugly divorce - with all the emotional baggage that comes with it. I was listening to an author the other day and he analyzed the reason for the emotion - people just will not say "I'm sorry". Althougth he was speaking about child support disputes, it all still makes sense. Both parties of a divorce feel the other didn't measure up. If the parties would just realize that it just wasn't a good thing and then move on, it wouldn't be as bad. Even if you feel you are losing something tho the other person, just cut your losses and go. What difference does it make if you can have the freedom to make it better? raoulfelder, sounds like you have experience with contracts - maybe of the government type?? It might be a good idea to start a new thread on this topic. The OP has requested that we knock it off, and she's entitled I suppose. This is probably a sensitive subject and originally written under a lot of emotional stress. I hope she has a very happy life with her new hubby though. However, this topic is worth continuing - HOT SUBJECT! Maybe a new thread - anyone...???? OK, not trying to do the good cop/bad cop thing - just think we ALL have a lot to say on this subject... gng