Over the past few days, mom has continued to have "little accidents"...nothing like the first one, yet enough to have to clean up. The only thing she agreed to wear was a sanitary napkin, which of course, is useless for a BM accident, but I let it go, since she was so embarassed. Yesterday, when I got back from work, I noticed a pair of underwear that had been washed out and hung on the bathtub...she obviously had another BM accident. I asked her caretaker and she said she didn't know, but thought something was going on, because mom was in the bathroom for quite a while. When she knocked on the door to help, mom sent her away stating she was fine. I waited until she left, then sat down with mom and asked her about the underwear...she said she didn't know what I was talking about, so either she forgot or didn't want to admit it to me. When she got up, I noticed a light stain on her pants, so I took her upstairs, took off her pants and showed them to her and said this is from when you had that little accident and had to wash out your underwear...she didn't say anything and I dropped it. Last night, before going to bed, I brought in a pair of disposable underwear by Depends and told her I wanted her to wear them just at night so then she didn't have to worry if she happened to have a little accident. I showed her the padded area and how soft they are (I can't believe how nice they are making them now...they used to be bulky and plastic, now they almost feel like cotton) and I said "NO ONE is going to know you are wearing these" she said "OK, but please don't tell anyone"...how sad for her to realize she now needs these, but I know within a very short time this too will just be part of our routine and she won't give it a thought. Oh! I almost forgot! I also bought her a new goose down pillow, something she had asked me for a while back and I forgot about, so after undressing for bed and dealing with the Depends, I immediately changed the subject and said "wait til you see what I bought for you!!!" and I showed her the pillow....she was thrilled...just smiling and smiling and thanking me over and over...blessings to all, Mimi

That's good to hear. I think most folks wear what works best for them...all things considered (discreet, cost, absorbancy, etc). You seem young for such a problem...it has been evaluated, right? Derry

As I lay here in bed reading this, I have a large pad on 2 sheets of paper towels folded long ways two line that pad, 2 depends pull-ups on, a disposable Chuck, a fabric Chuck and a towel underneath all of that. I along with many other women that I've read about on this thread have suffered these 'monster' periods for a very long time, well actually to the tune of 25 years. I have left my stamp (flooding Period gushing pools) at work at home, at the child Gymboree class, on Greyhound buses, on every form of Transport known to man. I have always had to have the heaviest flow pack of pads I can find along with Depends pull ups and tampons and black pants at several strategic locations during my day. One kit in my car, one at my job and always in the house. I could identify with the frustration and I was happy that some people mentioned the mental anguish and the feelings of being just out of it. Feeling isolated and unsociable. Over the last 25 years I have adapted to living with the memory loss, fog and just kind of drifted through my day on auto during these episodes. I was not financially position to be able to stay home during the illness, and on one occasion I remember coming up off the subway train and bent over on the street screaming in pain. But this was New York so everyone passed by and ignored me, indifferent to what they were seeing. At that time a taxi driver saw me and had pity on me. He insisted that he take me home. but I was adamant because I didn't want to lose my job; so I told him to take me to work. By the time I got to work they had to call an ambulance and rush me to the hospital. I was dehydrated and anemic due to the blood loss. it was the first of many occasions like that, and I would frequent the ER bleeding heavily and dizzy over the following years. 10 years ago I had three fibroids removed of which one was the size of a grapefruit. The monster periods lightened up for maybe a year or two but then it came right back with a vengeance and was like Clockwork every 3 weeks as per usual. Heavy and uncontrollable with massive clotting. I was too afraid to have the hysterectomy because of people's horror stories including my own mothers; and the fact that it apparently brings on menopause, along with all the syndromes almost immediately. My little sister had gone through menopause at age 43, so I figured I'd wait it out thinking I can't be that far behind. I am 51 years old, and to my absolute Delight had not experienced a period in the last 7 months; so I thought I was done with it all , thinking that it was all behind me, that the nightmare was over, and got rid of all my stationed 'kits.' Yes it meant I had terrible hot flashes, but those paled when measured up against those monster periods... Which brings me right back to today laying here reading all your heart wrenching stories. At this point I don't know what to do and I really don't want a hysterectomy after suffering so much with the fibroid removal. moreover I don't have the luxury or option of taking time off of work. I guess I will make the appointment with the gynecologist and see what options are out there two decades on. I'm hoping for a miracle. Again I want to thank all you ladies for being so candid and sharing your stories. It has been really helpful to me and, I'm sure, to many other women going through this nightmare. I wish you all success with your various treatment options. I will definitely come back and update you on what treatment the gynecologist recommend.

No problem answering justmetoo. Ex was always a decent father although he became a better one over the years. My ex was 20 when DD was born, he didn't know much, he is generally a better person now, so am I. I never had to make him be involved though, he always was hands-on type of dad from the moment DD was born, he was never a jerk in regards to DD. He is generally family man like doing things with kids, take them places, travel with them, etc It is hard to explain here, he is just generally not very reliable, like never remembers right dates, forgetting things, sends things on wrong days (bought tickets to attend DD's college graduation for a wrong date), promised things then forgot 100 times. I mean kind of small things (as DD says "dad is being dad" LOL) but over the years if you count small things it is a pain... As about keeping DD out of it, yes DD was kept completely out of anything with the exception. i had ONE argument with ex that DD overheard. My ex had to give me a copy of somehting important for DD's college acceptance and as always he mixed up dates. That was the time when I forgot DD was in the other room and I yelled on the phone. It sucked. It was ONE time though. She was grown already yet she was not too happy.. Now I probably exaggerated about tears. i meant tears over making this dumb parenting work, not him as a man. We were only married for 5 years in young age. Much time passed. We are friends, we don't need to co-parent, DD has her own separate relationships with us. As about SO's girls. Both his and mine live FAR form us and very far from each other. when they visit it usually happens on different dates. SDs and DD usually visit all at once on Christmas, other visits don't match, it is impossible to match them due to girls work/school schedules. YSD and DD actually went to the same high school, but they weren't friends, just knew each other. I would not call what they have a relationship due to geographical distance. When we became serious all girls were already adults and out of the house, and out of state (YSD was here but recently left as well). They are decent when they see each other on rare occasion but not much else. DD is going to visit in August, and there is a possibility OSD will be here with the new baby but again no guarantee it will happen on the same dates. Sorry long..I have a flu, SO is on a business trip, lay sick in front of TV and type away LOL