In the special needs community, we have an acronym that everyone knows: DID, which stands for Dads In Denial. Deep down inside, Mom knows there is something wrong with her child, but Dad refuses to admit it, refuses to even consider it. Sound like you've got a classic Dad In Denial. Cole sounds like a very deeply troubled young man, and he's chosen sexual ways of acting out, which spread the trauma throughout the rest of the family. Quite simply, that boy needs MAJOR help, and he needs to be separated from the younger children who are not able to adequately protect themselves. (Is it possible Cole was sexually abused? He's certainly acting out in ways that suggest something of the sort...) Not to minimize the trauma to your son -- but I suspect if it ends now and Cole moves out for a while and gets into treatment, that your son will be able to put it into perspective and move on in a healthy way. But if nothing chages? My goodness - What message will this send your kids? As a parent, you simply HAVE to protect them. You have to. They have to know that you, as a parent, will protect them from harm. If your marriage truly is a good one, I'd send all of the kids out for an evening and have a heart to heart with him. PREPARE your side in advance, because you need to say what you need to say, and having it organized and streamlined may be the only way to make sure it happens. Key points: -- Cole needs MAJOR help. He's been acting out for a long time, but his behavior has taken a turn toward sexually victimizing others. In a nutshell, he is acting like a young sexual predator. Cole needs help and as his parents, you and Dad NEED to see that he gets it - NOW. -- Being in the same house with an untreated Cole is dangerous for your children. Your son has already been damaged, at this point, probably not irreparably, but only because the problem was discovered. Now that you know about it, you, as a responsible parent, NEED to act on it. You cannot ask your son to live under the same roof with the brother who sexually abused him. -- You love your husband, your marriage and your family. After much soul-searching, you have come to the conclusion that to save your family, Cole and your children cannot live under the same roof. And because it would be unbearably cruel to 'abandon' Cole all over again, Dad should take him and move out while Cole starts treatment. You can have family dinners together and still be committed to your marriage and family -- but you need to protect your children. Without Dad's help, the family cannot survive. So either he supports the separation, or you need to pursue a divorce. Best of luck to you -- And please, stay strong for your children's sake.

T's are allowed. There's no specific requirement to daisy chain things. Be careful not to exceed the box fill on the box you're teeing from. Don't forget that 120V receptacles in garages that are at or below grade require GFCI and you need to make sure that if you're using a GFCI receptacle that it is correctly placed in the circuit to protect the rest.

You cannot run in a panic right now, you will scare Rhianna. If you scare her she will not talk, IF there are signs of physical abuse, by no means wait, But if there are no signs physically, then you must take things slowly and on her terms so you do not scare her and tramatise her more. calm talks are the best. She may not tell you today, she may not tell you tomorrow, BUT if she knows she can tell you and you won't freak out on her, she will tell you, trust me, she will. Listen to her, what she says and doesn't say...That sounds odd, I know but if she says something that just doesn't sound "right", it could be the clue to a talk. Again above all else, BE cALM. Deep breaths, Make her calm. Matter of fact terms, "Mom he showed me his pee pee"..Oh he did, boy that must have been icky, I wouldn't want to see that...calm not OH MY GOD, YOU SAW HIS PEN!S. One way can keep her talking, the other will make her clam up. All will/can be fine eventually. Remember too, she may not like him because he just isn't nice to her. And her moodyness may have nothing to do with him. Oh yes and remmeber with you talk to enforce upon her that if anyone says they'll hurt xxx if they tell, that they don't have to worry, you owuld never let that happen. AND if they promise anything if they don't tell, that is not the kind of secret to keep. Good secrets and bad secrets..good conversation for another time. Vickey-Mn

From Lupita Nyung'o's (that was fun!) article. I find it quite prescriptive! She took the hit and survived because she was surrounded by a supportive community. "I was part of a growing community of women who were secretly dealing with harassment by Harvey Weinstein. But I also did not know that there was a world in which anybody would care about my experience with him. You see, I was entering into a community that Harvey Weinstein had been in, and even shaped, long before I got there. He was one of the first people I met in the industry, and he told me, “This is the way it is.” And wherever I looked, everyone seemed to be bracing themselves and dealing with him, unchallenged. I did not know that things could change. I did not know that anybody wanted things to change. So my survival plan was to avoid Harvey and men like him at all costs, and I did not know that I had allies in this. Fortunately for me, I have not dealt with any such incidents in the business since. And I think it is because all the projects I have been a part of have had women in positions of power, along with men who are feminists in their own right who have not abused their power. What I am most interested in now is combating the shame we go through that keeps us isolated and allows for harm to continue to be done. I wish I had known that there were women in the business I could have talked to. I wish I had known that there were ears to hear me. That justice could be served. There is clearly power in numbers. I thank the women who have spoken up and given me the strength to revisit this unfortunate moment in my past. Our business is complicated because intimacy is part and parcel of our profession; as actors we are paid to do very intimate things in public. That’s why someone can have the audacity to invite you to their home or hotel and you show up. Precisely because of this we must stay vigilant and ensure that the professional intimacy is not abused. I hope we are in a pivotal moment where a sisterhood — and brotherhood of allies — is being formed in our industry. I hope we can form a community where a woman can speak up about abuse and not suffer another abuse by not being believed and instead being ridiculed. That’s why we don’t speak up — for fear of suffering twice, and for fear of being labeled and characterized by our moment of powerlessness. Though we may have endured powerlessness at the hands of Harvey Weinstein, by speaking up, speaking out and speaking together, we regain that power. And we hopefully ensure that this kind of rampant predatory behavior as an accepted feature of our industry dies here and now. Now that we are speaking, let us never shut up about this kind of thing. I speak up to make certain that this is not the kind of misconduct that deserves a second chance. I speak up to contribute to the end of the conspiracy of silence."