Am I having a happy life????

15 years ago

Hi All,

Here is my story: My boyfriend and I have been living togeter for 9years. First 5yrs was ok, after that, we fight like hell, and I end up cheated on him. He beg me to come back, and knowing that was his false. Now I am with him, but I feel so sad, he treat me very well, he cooks, pay everything for the expenses. when we finished having sex, he always run to the rest room to brush his teeth. why????? ( I didn't ask him, just wonder). I want to run away from him so bad, but he keep begging me to stay. He told me I hold the happiness on my hand, but didn't realize it. when I lose it, I will regret it.

Should I stay with him, or should I go. I do miss my other boyfriend too.

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Comments (14)

popi_gw
15 years ago
"I want to run away from him so bad"

You have answered your own question, here. You can't stay with him out of guilt.

You don't have to live your life through your boyfriend.

Perhaps time on your own would be good for you.
suzieque
15 years ago
Your boyfriend is a bully and a controller. He's telling you that you are happy and will miss it if you leave him? Forget about him - you decide whether you're happy or not and you decide what to do. Don't let him tell you.

But - if you're not happy, leave him. Don't have another affair.
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Turkeytrott: There was a sentence in what I wrote that has been bothering me. It did not come out right and I want to re-word it, to express my thinking here. I wrote: "From what you have written, it sounds to be as if he is so bored, and unhappy, and yet he is still with you". I worded it wrong. What I am trying to say is that you are in a long term marriage. In a long term marriage, people can become bored by familiarity. The lack of newness. It does not necessarily mean that the people themselves are boring. It simply means while people may find comfort in the familiar, they can also become bored. It sounds to me as though you actually have a good marriage, as he says he is content, the snuggling, the kisses, but it sounds as though he is so restless, and yearning for new/different but could be staying because he knows what he has is good, and he doesn't trust himself enough, and fears that he may be totally blowing it and lose you in the process. I think of that song that sings about love... "You don't know what you've got till it's gone" and perhaps that is the fear that keeps him from really chasing after this elusive life he thinks is out there...somewhere. I think of the women that I have read about that have been unhappy in their marriage. Some had an affair and left their husband for the other man. We hear that once her ex-husband found a new love, and either married her or moved in with her, and her children started attaching to this new "mom figure" that she had serious regrets. Or her new marriage was not what she thought it would be and she realized the enormous mistake she had made. Perhaps you can talk to your husband and tell him you understand his restlessness. His boredom. His thoughts dancing with the possibilities of something/someone new. What can you two do that could shake some newness into this fragile time in your marriage as children go off to college and he sees the excitement in their eyes of youth, before reality like mortgages and responsibility weigh people down. And he yearns to feel like that again. Start with a great makeover. It will help you feel good about yourself, and he will see you in a new way. If you need to lose weight, do it. Whiten your teeth if they need it. It can take off years, and make your smile light up a room. Change your clothes style, and address your bedroom style, (bedding/drapes/paint color) to make it fresh and appealing. It will make you feel good every time you walk in your room, even if he leaves. I wish you and your children the best. Re-read my last post, and see if anything within helps in any way. Do not sit idle. If you can't get him interested, or if he has already left, start making the changes for yourself! Take a deep breath, and there are books on the market about women who have discovered gifts in the midst of the sorrow. I am sending a hug and encouragement your way. I wish you blessings in the midst of it all.
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worriedone
15 years ago
we fight like hell
I end up cheated on him
He beg me to come back,
I feel so sad
I want to run away from him

Tell him thanks for everything but YOU ARE UNHAPPY. Maybe it's him, maybe not. But the fact remains you no longer feel the same for him. He wants you to stay even though you are unhappy? Why? So he feels better? That isn't love. That's dependence and he needs help.

Good luck *I would leave quickly and quietly and not ever contact him!!!
mkroopy
15 years ago
I'm sensing a professional victim here...she'll stay with him another 10 years and complain about it every day....otherwise she would have left a long time ago.
roseebucker
Original Author
15 years ago
Thanks all for reply

I talk to my family about leaving him. They are all disagree. My mom said no body treat you as good as the very first love one. All though He treat me as a queen, I don't feel the love from him, but feel infamy for examble every time we have sex (oral), he ran to the rest room spit his saliva, and brush his teeth.

I don't know what to do, but just cry and sad. He knew it.

I went to my parents house to stay for a week now, but miss hime terribly.

When I am with him, I want to run away from him, and when I am away from him, I miss him whyyyyy????? I hate this feelling.
asolo
15 years ago
You forgot to mention the boyfriend this time.

From what you've written, I'd recommend an asylum or a convent.
asolo
15 years ago
PS to previous.....you apparently didn't notice or disregarded this forum heading. It is "marriage". You are not married. You are not considering marriage. What are you doing here?
tracystoke
15 years ago
asolo ,what a bleeding hipocrit,are you married?,are you single?are you a parent?are you all the the other forums you comment on,because YOU lirk on every single one of them,so let me ask what you aksed ,what are YOU doing here ?oh i forgot you are here to knock everybody down ,sad ,negative person.
asolo
15 years ago
Every morning I wake up and think to myself...."Self", I think, "What can you do today to grate tracystoke's cheese?"

It's like being an artist. Sometimes the inspirations just come in a cascade. Other times I'm so distracted by the misspellings, childish punctuation, and general incoherence of your attempts at writing, I find it hard to begin.
tracystoke
15 years ago
LOL.shame.
asolo
15 years ago
Ah, tracystoke. You're patient and kind....everything I'm not. Luv ya, babe.
marge727
15 years ago
If I was running this company (it advertises, it makes money, its a business)I think I would put an assortment of provacative letters in here from time to time just to get everyone busy commenting. Unfortunately they must be using the custodial staff. I just cannot believe some of these posters are real. If someone barely writes English why would they post here? If we were in a foreign country would we be posting in that language?--with the internet you would think they would be able to locate people with their language.
popi_gw
15 years ago
I agree with you Marge, some of the postings here are hard to believe and yet we make comments and bicker amongst ourselves. Perhaps we have nothing better to do ?

In response to the heading of this posting...I'm having a happy life... I can't think of any problem I could post here to invite comments...maybe that's a problem in itself.
marge727
15 years ago
I agree, its something to talk about. I guess for the majority of us we don't want drama in our own lives, and steer clear of being involved with people who do. Altho if you watch Dr. Phil or some of the reality shows you would think some people spend their lives yelling or crying.

Am I having a happy life????

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popi_gw

suzieque

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Am I having a happy life????

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