Hi Micki. I'm 52 and have been postmenopausal for the last yr. I thought maybe hearing from someone who got through it might help.

I have other health issues and am on meds for them. Menopause complicated these health issues and I was desperate to find relief. The worse was palpitations and heat intolerance. These things alone without the hormone changes would put me over the edge.

First, I just want to say, it's VERY normal to not like yourself during this time. Everything you said is normal. If you are like me, you are probably normally a nice and caring person. For this very reason, I felt like another horrible person and I use to look in the mirror and tell myself how much I couldn't stand myself, then just sit and cry. I think the crying is what keeps us sane. It's awful crying all the time, but at least it's a release of all the emotions that we can't express because we don't even really understand our feelings.

I found it very helpful to read everything I could and tried to understand what changes our bodies are going through. What helped me the most was reading and realizing that the horrible feelings of menopause is actually a normal/healthy part of a woman's life.

It helps to minimize any stress in your life and sometimes that's almost impossible. But I learned to tell others that I wasn't feeling well because I had to give myself a break. I was always a doer and always 'up' and it was hard to admit that I was no longer that person. What surprised me the most was that everyone was more supportive and caring than I ever imagined they'd be.

You know, we are not superwomen, no matter how demanding our lives are. I think finding the right attitude toward menopause is what helped me the most. We have to make it as easy on ourselves as possible because it's going to happen anyway, right? And surprisingly enough, I still am the "happy doer", but I'm even better. And you will be too.

I still have a lot of problems from rheumotoid arthritis and underactive thyroid and my meds cause overlapping symptoms with menopause, but I'm much more emotionally stable now than I've ever been in my life.

I hope something I said helps. :)

I can't seem to stop crying. The hot flashes are getting worse. I'm mean to my husband. The anxiety is getting worse. I think I need a visit to my GYN after my busy season is over. Need help.

Grandmapoo, thanks for the words of wisdom and encouragement. I have been going through per-menopausal stuff for about ten years now. At first, it was few and far between, but for the past year, has been pretty constant. I am finding that over the past year, I keep gradually getting better as far as emotional stability goes, but it's still rough at times.
I remember (not fondly) when it very first started. I felt like I was the least-likeable and most un-deserving creature on the face of the earth, and all my lifetime before that, I had been a very up-beat active happy woman. It really shook my very foundation, and I thought I had gone completely insane. After a couple of months, it all settled out, and life was worthwhile once again. Since then, I have had bouts of anxiety and depression ranging from once yearly to once every three years or so, but each time, the severity seems to lessen (maybe because I know what to expect). Anyway, now everything seems to be settling down, and although the past year has been less than ideal, at least it is liveable, and I know I can handle it.
Mrs H

Thank you for this forum. I was feeling sorry for myself today. Not something I was brought up to do. I have been jazzercising 3 times a week for 3 weeks. Walked 2 miles yesterday. And today I got on the scales and gained 3 pounds. While I am informed enough to know why it just was reason enough to scream, cry and pout! I feel much better now, a year ago this wouldnt have bothered me at all. Menopause, I admire everyone struggling to come thru it. Thank ladies for this forum and all the support. Shotzy