What to do with a husband you can't trust?
crickett40
16 years ago
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tracystoke
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoamyfiddler
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
what do you do when you don't trust your builder?
Comments (19)Our contract is fixed price with allowances. Our builders approach is that changes in things like tile or lighting fixtures that don't change the work involved for him, are no issue- we are paying the difference in the cost of material. Obviously, if we make a change that results in more labor, this would be considered a change order to be negotiated as everything else was sorted. As an example, if we change from a simple, tiled backsplash in the kitchen to one that has much more elaborate patterns and an increased time to install, then I'd expect the builder to ask for a change order to cover this. To the OP, sounds like a discussion with the builder would make sense- for some areas, it would seem that a process could be worked out to at least help you understand the relative differences in the choices you're looking at? This could be done in a way to preserve the approach this builder seems to have with his suppliers but give you some information to help with your decisions? Maybe it's time to ask the builder to meet you at the tile store to make some progress?...See MoreWhat do I do if I cant trust my husband???? Help Me Please!!
Comments (15)WOW All we got here is a lot of neuroses popping out in all directions ... someone who was cheated on is SURE that the behavior means cheating, someone who was not cheated on thinks it means nothing ... and we have no real substantive data to make an evaluation on, so we all go off half-cocked based on our own positive or negative neurotic interpretations of her situation. None of that helps ... So what to do ? Well first of all concentrate on your own mental health and happiness and stability OUTSIDE of fixations with him. Reward yourself a couple times a day in some small constructive way for good things you do. Reward him in some small ways with a "thank you" when he does something good for you ... "Catch him doing something good" make the most of things and be as positive as you can be. If there is a real and substntive problem, it will eventually be fully revealed, if not, worrying and crying and getting upset will not help ... but just create a problem for you and him both. Make yourself happy and healthy. Dont hold your life hostage to his....See MoreWhat do you do when you can't bare to be around your Step Son
Comments (9)@ justmetoo----His now 21 year old son assaulted me, not the one that lives with us now. His mother does feed him stories and has for years let them in on the finances and done everything in her power to cause trouble and discontent. To be honest, in my opinion, this all went off the rails with this particular child when WE bought him a car. After my husband and I did this he kept the ca for about 2 months and decided that he didn't want it anymore. I had a truck that we were not using so SS came to me and said he wanted to buy it because, a. he wanted a truck, b. it would teach him what it was like to have financial responsibility. I should have seen through that right there, because I don't know many kids that would say that. I was honestly against it because I saw nothing but trouble, but after all the hounding I got from my husband and SS, I gave in just to shut them up. I stipulated that there would be rules, the vehicle would not be his until he paid it in full, it could not be driven out of the local area further than 50 miles, and since it was in my name and under my insurance he was not to haul all his friends around and he had to let us know where he was going. Keep in mind at the time he was 16, so I don't think I was being to unreasonable. That was fine for about 2 months and suddenly he stopped paying (payments were $50/month), breaking curfew, rude, sassy, etc. He wants to put the vehicle under his mothers insurance, because she doesn't have to know where he goes. Then he decides he doesn't want this vehicle and he wants to sell it and buy something else. Now I have no way of knowing what my husband and his son discussed or concocted, and they are famous for making little deals and leaving me out of the loop. (That's another issue) So, I agreed to allow him to sell it with the stipulation that he only keep what was leftover from what he owed us because I just wanted to be rid of the situation.. Well you would have thought I was asking for his first born, because suddenly he doesn't understand why he has to pay for something that had been given to me in the first place and why did I not just give him the vehicle. So he sells it and when my husband does not turn over the full amount to him, he says, "Mom told me you would not give me what you owed me!" HAHA BINGO! So I told my husband, BM is obviously planting seeds in his head, which you can't reason with this woman she is a nut job, we have tried. He gets a new car with his mother and adds it to his insurance and in even more attitude, he came over one night to fight with my husband about this entire transaction. Do I know if my husband has lied to him? No, I do not, however that is no excuse to talk to your father that way. In my opinion, bottom line SS is mad because he did not get what he wanted from us. This is the same child that asked his Dad to change the custody agreement so that he could stay with us more because he did not like living at his mothers house because everyone fights there all the time, per him. My husband even gave him $400 to register his new car that he got with his BM with the understanding that he would pay it back because he is working. This was 6 months ago and the boy has yet to make any attempt to give us anything, in fact he told his Dad in the past few weeks, "I don't have any F*&^ing money, so why would I give you any? I'm not paying you back." NICE! My husband left his son OVER $300 for lunch, food, etc whilst he has been away, gives him money to eat when the SS is at work, school, to go out with his friends....but the boy has a job, he is already in college. I feel that we have done so much for him and all he does in expect more and disrespect more. He will walk right past me in my home and look right through me and not say a word. I feel that I have done more for him in the 5 years I have been married than his own mother does for him. Its just a mess and it makes me very sad because it was NOT always like this. We used to do things as a family, have dinner together, go on trips and now I can't stand the sight of him....See MoreWhat do YOU do when you can't sleep?
Comments (66)It's no wonder you're having trouble sleeping with that bright light shining into your bedroom. The management of the other building may not realize that it's so intrusive. Perhaps you could ask them to adjust it so that it doesn't shine so directly into you apt. I rarely have trouble getting to sleep, but I sometimes hve trouble staying asleep and find myself awake in the wee hours. It doesn't happen very often now, but the last few years of my working life it was almost every night. I chalked it up to having work related things on my mind. Anyway, what I did/do that works like a charm for me is to play a mental exercise. I'll pick something like places, foods, names, etc., and starting with the letter A think of all of the places/foods/names I can that start with A. When I can't think of anymore, I move to B and so on. Rarely do I get further than C or D before falling back to sleep. An example of places could go something like Alaska, Arkansas, Amsterdam, Africa, Albuquerque and so on. I'm always amazed at how well it works as I would think it would stimulate my brain and make me more awake, but it seems to have the opposite effect....See Morelindac
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoscarlett2001
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoima57chevyluvr_yahoo_com
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agojoshp01
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agoenchantedwalls_yahoo_com
13 years agolast modified: 9 years agomelissa-helms_hotmail_com
12 years agolast modified: 9 years agosunnyday59
10 years agolast modified: 9 years agoMahriah Delaney
8 years agoAlexander Wiesenthal
7 years ago
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