I've grown Acalypha wilkesiana since I arived in Florida 25 years ago. They take full sun to 1/2 day shade. And yes, they can freeze back in tempatures that dip around 32 degrees. In south Florida, they can reach upwards of 15 foot. but here in St Pete, 6 foot is more like. I have several around my yard. My big red one - "Louisiana Red" stops traffic. The white one named "Java white" always gets an Wow! And don't forget about the chenille plant, it's in the same family, too. I think they're very easy to grow. If you can grow a hibiscus, you will not have any trouble growing one of these. Does anyone know the name of this one? http://community.webshots.com/photo/85749816/102335439FbLFIe Here is a link that might be useful: Louisana Red

I'm in your shoes and the problem is coming from the both of them, but your partner is the one to blame here because he is her parent and the adult here. He is allowing this behavior and by showing her you don't matter he is giving her power over the relationship and to drive a wedge between you. Read my post (that is also long and received few replies as well) about husband feeling like he's being made to choose. I didn't go into detail about particular incidents of things she did, but she came to live with us 3 years ago and the alienation of my opinions started right away and gradually increased. Every time that he did nothing drove me further away and caused me to not respect him- in fact I'm disgusted with him. Now she rules the house, says and does whatever she wants. Heaven forbid she doesn't get her way because she will bully her Dad until he gives in. I didn't fully disengage until she lied about me to get her way and in a separate incident two months later she embellished a story heavily to gain attention for herself and to make me look bad. She trash talks me (like she did her mother before moving here) with lies and half truths. Luckily for you, you only have to deal with her during visitation. Don't ever agree to her moving in full time or you will regret it. You need to talk with your partner and tell him how you feel. Hopefully he will work on it. You and he should be the team. Not the kids. My husband always cried about being in the middle (but he consistently put himself there) and I recently told him that if we had been the team we should have been there wouldn't have been a middle! He needs to quit playing into her games. It's too bad that some girls have to act that way and sadly, they usually learn it from their mothers. This post was edited by tjlo on Fri, Jun 28, 13 at 7:08

Wifey, I really do understand. My childhood was also smattered with abuse, physical, verbal and sexual. I'm also a survivor and a very strong woman. I have been on my own since age 16, managed to finance and get through most of college on my own, and at age 35, I now own a pretty strong company that I built from the ground up. As a survivor type, I never even entertained the idea of "can't", giving up or not making life work for me - I really didn't have any other choice. I've learned this is not something everyone is programmed with and I am very lucky to have these expectations of myself, where others are too scared to consider or can't even see life's possibilities. You're absolutely right, blood sucking spongey types seem to practically hunt down survivor types. I have to fight them off constantly and most are from my side of the family. I've learned to recognize them right off but most of the time I still try to play the hero until I get disgusted with them and then I play the avoidance card. Only you know your limits. I guess I just hate to see her win. :) I also know that my survivor background causes me to expect more from people than "normal" people might. I also share your feelings of "well if I can go through this and be this strong in my life, why should I sympathize with someone who makes no effort at all?". I guess my own answer to that question in the middle of my sleepless nights is: I'd rather be me than them. Knowing a little more about the relationship with you and your SD, I would think you shouldn't offer any more of your money to her at all. That should be a boundary you set with her and her father. If you wanted a relationship with her at all at this point, I would insist that it be strictly a mentor/friend type relationship so she can hopefully learn how to grow from you. If she thinks she can con you and be nice to you long enough for you to give her cash, you aren't making any headway at all, just making matters worse. And if she won't accept that type of relationship, then you did your best in offering, and hopefully she'll figure it out on her own someday. I wish I had better answers for you. My husband is ten years older than me, so I related to what could be the unspoken part of your situation. In my situation I wondered if maybe I didn't accept this man in some way to fill the father slot that was left in shambles in my childhood. When I look at it in that light, I begin to question whether I may be suffering from jealousy issues that aren't present in "normal" SM/SD relationships. Examining the possibility has given me more gas for tollerance until I am sure. Oddly enough, the question of how life would have been had my father had the personality of my husband, isn't so much comforting, but scary. I can't imagine what it would be like to be so nurtured and unprepared for this rough world we live in. Another byproduct seems to be the years it takes before family considers your relationship with your husband valid. They seem to think you are going to flee with half the bank account someday. My father was 24 years older than my mother, so the age difference has never been a problem for me, just everyone else. What fun! More unspoken, yet heavy stress. I sit here and I honestly do not know what I would do in your shoes. My situation is rosey compared to yours. What helps me through all this turmoil is communication with my husband, but if yours won't talk to you about it, I don't know how you could ever be expected to move forward. I don't think you are a bad person, a whiner or any of that. If you are like me, you were at your total wits end before you even thought to Google this board. I think anyone on here who creates a dialogue with themselves about these issues is facing the issue and questioning how they can make it better. I haven't yet found a posting on here from a step father, which to me is very telling. It's funny, my husband is so awestruck by the person I am and the things I have accomplished in the face of adversity. He is equally petrified of his children ever having to face these same things. I have explained to him that everything I went through made me a stronger person...that I VALUE these parts of my life because they made me who I am. I don't mean to sound cocky but I can look at myself in the mirror each morning and know I did the right thing the day before and I am very pleased with my progress in this life. Really, what more can you hope for on this journey than that? Sorry this is so long - I pretty much rambled as I went. I hope things work out for you whatever you decide.

You don't have to worry about calling and complaining. Go ahead if you want. I can assure you that one complaint will certainly *not* result in the loss of a contract to the company! Actually more people *should* call, both when service is unusually bad or unusually good. I received a follow up call after delivery. Deliveries are tough. I've done them before. Some go great, some are nightmares. I have a lot of respect for people who do on-site anything. I bought a stove and refrigerator from Home Depot last year and part of the reason I bought there was the free delivery and pickup/disposal of the old appliances. I couldn't be happier with the service I received. They almost called too often! The two guys were unusually careful. They pulled them out of the boxes on the driveway, checked it over top to bottom for scratches, dents or damage and were unusually careful about cleaning up every scrap and checking for anything that may have been left on the driveway! I was surprised. I got a call that told me where in the queue I was and an estimated time something like between 9 & 10 am. Then I got a call from the delivery guys two or three times. They called before the one right before me and when they finished and would be on the way, giving time estimates on each. I have some extra blocks on the back steps to make for shorter height steps to be easier for me to go in and out. I said it was easy enough to move them but no, they said that wasn't necessary and went right up them and they were twisting themselves to be sure not to damage the door jamb or anything. Amazing. I gave them each a $10 tip and a big thank you. They were surprised and very appreciative. I imagine not too many people tip delivery guys. I kind of felt cheap about it afterward. But the time frame vs the amount was a pretty good income anyway. I also realize that the odds of getting them for another delivery are slim to none and it might be a total nightmare next time. But when they take that kind of care on cheap appliances (about $900 for both OTD) they obviously have a great work ethic.