I'm so sorry for what you're goin through, and I can see why you wouldn't trust her. And I'm sorry, but her words to him ("I'm scared I'm losing you") ring a lot truer than her words to you. Some women are scared to death to be without a man in their lives, and will desparately jump from man to man to man just to keep from being alone. It sounds to me like she's one of them, and that for some reason, she decided to jump. But when that jump didn't 'take' (she got caught and he refused to leave his family), she 'jumped' right back to you. Oh, he's still interested? Jump back to him. Not serious enough to leave? Back to you. ANYTHING to avoid not having a man to anchor and validate her. I'd still suggest counselling - but if she won't be completely and brutally honest with the counsellor, then it won't do any real good. I can see how - if I'm right about her emotional neediness - she wouldn't be completely honest in front of you. (After all, she might lose you - and she's desparate to avoid that - at least until she has her replacement lined up.) So I'd suggest that you both go to the first session, that YOU tell the counseller everything she's been up to and everything you know and suspect, and that you then say that you will bow out so Wifey can be totally honest with counsellor, and that you'll happily rejoin the sessions when they're ready for you. Just my take...

Possible? Emotionally abusive? Definitely! Physically and emotionally abusive! Restricting your movements, restricting your food, stalking you- that's physical abuse, he doesn't have to hit you. Surely you have friends or family somewhere. Call someone, get out of there with your children, and go to a women's shelter. Move to another city/state/country if you have to, there are women's shelters in many places.

You people are funny you know. Out of this whole conversations taken place for the past year nobody in this chat room has thought that maybe there’s two sides every story. I am this woman husband and name Chris. Let me tell something she hasn’t told you. First lets start with the begin of this relationship. I meant Dallas while she was going through her first divorce and she was in abuse relationship with her last husband James. I meant Dallas and she was stuck in a house the bought together. After 1 month of dating I felt bad I took her rent-free and helped get her back on her feet. We than feel in love with each other. During the first two years in our marriage Dallas accused me of cheating went through my phone and if I smelt funny or even if I had a whiff of perfume on she would accuse me of cheating. All because of the fact I was 3years younger than her. For two years I dealt with that. Never once accused her of cheating nor mistreated her. I sat there well her real dad for the first time accused me of being to immature for Dallas and never once did this woman ever stick up for me at all. I sat there well her mom accused me of showing her boyfriend pornographic photos. Who in there right would show pics like that to someone mother in law or any family member for that matter. Also did I mention the fact that this woman has had an affair. This woman cheated on me what kind of man wouldn’t be concerned for the wife after that. Also what kind woman tells someone lets do a six month separation and agrees not see other people but doesn’t wear her wedding and tells people she leaving when she going marriage counseling this Sat. This woman is probably still cheating on me and expects me to live separately and just phone calls no contact for two months and than we will start dating each with other while living separately and go to marriage counseling. How do you work on a marriage when your not living with each other also where not supposes to see other people but like I said she I guess forgot that part. Did I mention that its either this or divorce, but she did come up with this she got from you people and her family witch is never around and does have real clue as to what’s going on. Just like you people. Of course I’m going to want to check on her. I’m not perfect by no means at all marriage takes work and it also takes two. This woman should have been talking to me instead of talking with you people. Half of what was said is either a lie or an exaggeration of the truth. What kind of woman leaves her husband at a bus stop. Or how about at the out back steak house. Let not even get into finances while I was working 16hr shifts with barely any sleep this woman was out shopping spending the money sometimes leaving us with barely enough money for food. I would begged her not go out or spend money. For Christmas if I don’t have money my family just gets cards or we tell each other not get gifts for us. Dallas spend almost are entire paycheck on Christmas for her family. Did she mention that I would work 100 hr of over time just to keep up with her spending and the debt from her last marriage and that I paid 6000 dollars off in year from her loan or the sacrifice that I would make for this woman. While she was getting her nails done and going out to eat well I was eating roman noodles. And for what so she can sit here and badmouth me with lies and fabrication. Who wouldn’t be tired after all that works. But you know what id get oh appreciate you and than she do it again and again. Over and over, but when I don’t think before when I speak during a argument or if something I did mean comes out of my mouth, and when I say sorry isn’t that the same thing. Shouldn’t we just both respect each other and not do it. But why is it that im taking all the blame and that I have accepted what ive done but yet she hasn’t. Also she spent two years going out with friends leaving me at home never bring them around even when I told her it bugged me. I never felt so alone in my life. It was like I thought she was embarrassed of me and she knows I have no friends what so ever but I guess that’s okay right. Dallas never would communicate to me at all she runs to everybody else when theres a problem. . This woman just want attention from every one probably because her whole family has practically a banded her while my family came in took her and made her one of our family members. When I met Dallas her whole life was drinking parting and sex. Her best friend Valerie is on drugs she has no positive reinforcement and you people are not helping at all. I could sit here and she did this and didn’t do that what’s the point. There only two people that truly no the truth and that me Chris her husband and my wife Dallas. What kind of abuse counselor can sit there not see any bruises or police reports and say ya you’re being abused really who does that. Every marriage has issues. I have forgave her for what she has done why cant she do the same for me. I want to save my marriage. I hope our marriage counselor will help because you people are not helping, and someone can get both sides of the story. Thank you let me know committers that have no life if want to know what’s going on let me know thank you

Thank you for your response. Like I said, we aren't befriending the ex-stepfather by any means. My main concern is that they maintain a relationship with their sibling whom he is the father (and it looks like the child will be living with him full time) and then, obviously new boyfriend that has already begun to stay overnight while the children are there. She just told them that the man she made them call dad for so many years is a lying, cheating, druggie and that they are getting divorces. now she has already brought a new man into their lives. A man that she just met. How are we supposed to talk to them about this when they bring it up? There isn't much nice to say. I realize that ideally we just keep our kids away from her. that isn't always an option. I guess I should have made that more clear. We try to never meet her alone and we try to always have someone else watch our children. sometimes we don't have a lot of options though. Sometimes, he has to meet her before I get home from work. Sometimes, there is no one else available to watch our children. I guess I was just wondering if anyone else had any other experience with this.