i am menopausal at 53. I live with a 32 year old man. We do fine. Sex has many dimensions. First see what vitamins you need. Sometimes lack of energy is the problem. I do ten hour shifts at times, and I sleep a lot when that happens. Sex? I tell him to go do some porn. So jobs can just mess things up. Porn, by the by, can turn you on too if you take time to find what you like to hear and see. Trust me, its out there. Take time to get turned on if he won't do it. If he won't then maybe you need someone else. If he will, experiment. You are sex researcher Dr. Cocktease, and you are going to see what gets the nights hot. Play. make up stories. Fun is something that does wonders for everyone. Do different places. Do you have a yard or go camping? Tents can be fun. We set up one in our living room and played camping like kids once and had a great time. Consider that while the body might have problems (I have serious hip arthritis, for instance), the mind is the most important sex organ there is. Think about what made sex good in the past. Think about stuff you are intrigued by but never did. Imagine these things, find pics of them, watch videos if those are good. Read stories on the web or write ones of what you think would be the best sex night (a great candlelit bath with flowers, a nice night taking turns doing rubs, whipped cream on parts being licked off, pretend meeting for the first time somewhere, dirty talk, whatever) and make time to do them. Get with yout man and talk about it. If you have hope of seeing results, this can turn things around.

I have reservations about using Soy at all based on my own experience. I'm not implying it is dangerous, but I suspect that it may actually make peri-menopausal women go through actual menopause earlier than they would otherwise. I took it for three or four years, and stopped a couple of years ago. I have been using progesterone cream for about five years, and really believe it helps. that's just my 2 cents, though;) Mrs H

To repeat some of what I've said earlier in multiple posts, I've taken a multi-faceted approach: sunlight therapy light for 30 minutes each morning during the shorter winter months making sure to eat healthily, esp. lots of legumes exercise (which for me also includes social partner dancing...not only provides exercise but physical interaction and music!) bamboo sheets have greatly helped with night sweats. I sleep much better. join a menopause support group or else start your own such Meetup group (I did, in NYC!) I take Rainbow Light Menopause One make it a point to be social....to get out of the house and be around other people. Go for walks...be around nature. If you are a night owl (like me), try your best to change your schedule little by little. Waking up earlier and going to bed earlier means you will have more waking hours in the natural light, and fewer waking hours in the dark, which in turn helps with serotonin levels and mood. Talk to a shrink if you are depressed and/or try to engage in cognitive therapy on your own. Be aware of how you are able to somewhat impact your own mood. For e.g., I noticed a pattern, whereby I was constantly assessing my mood multiple times per day. 'Am I feeling depressed right now?....Yup, I am. I am indeed feeling down...just like I was earlier today...just like I was yesterday. Ugh.' I realized that in doing that, I was then creating a sub-conscious 'reality' for myself, that if I am feeling down today, and I felt 'down' yesterday, and the day before that, that it stands to reason that tomorrow, and the next day, will also be the same. And how on earth can I expect to be in a good mood, if I believe this to be my reality, for the foreseeable future? Talk about creating a sense of doom for oneself. ;-) So.... I realized that this thought pattern I was exhibiting was not serving me one iota. Of course, we all know the expression of 'living in the moment'. I decided to purposefully try this at every moment of every day. 'Oh, doesn't this cup of coffee taste so good?.... this is so great that I just finished this work spreadsheet on my computer...I can now cross this off my to-do list.... this is great... Oh, this is a great song I'm listening to ...this salad I'm eating tastes so fresh!.... don't my two cats look so cute sleeping together..." And so on. By doing this, at the end of each day I found that I was able to look back and think 'you know...today wasn't that bad actually...'. And if I practiced living in the moment the next day as well, I could say 'this is great...today was pretty good...yesterday was pretty good...'. So that in turn helped to create my own new reality, which then helped me believe that the days ahead would also be pretty good! ;-) (If I assumed the days ahead would not be so good, they usually were not so good. But if I took on a more positive outlook, that my days ahead would be good, or 'pretty good', indeed, they usually were. While we can't control our emotions or mood entirely, much of it IS about perspective, and recognizing the ways we self-sabotage. And on that note....do not believe for one minute that 'older women are regarded with little worth' (as someone else here said). I am so utterly tired of women (and most often, it's American women) making this complaint. If you believe it, so it will be. No one wants to be around an older woman who is down in the dumps about her age. You could take two older women who look the exact same age more or less, and who have a similar appearance. One woman is confident, takes pride in her appearance, dresses attractively, does not feel her age is in and of itself a detriment; she is engaging, curious, outgoing. The other woman goes around believing that now that she's X-years of age, she's washed-up, and that society and men will 'ignore her'. She doesn't bother trying to dress nice, because she figures 'why bother'. Which woman do you think society is going to respond to more favorably. Which woman will more men find attractive? ;-)

I just want to say that NONE OF US are alone or crazy. My story is long... PMS started as a young teen and I had no idea what was going on. It eventually led to self-medicating, then to a slow and painful lifestyle of extreme addiction. Going on three years sober I'm grateful that I am now able to feel and understand my body to some degree. However (in a nutshell) since I hit my 40s - I'm now 42- the PMS has WORSENED. Not only the familiar severe anxiety that I have struggled with since a young teen but this horrible nausea that persists for up to two and a half weeks out of every month. I just started a birth control pill about a month ago and I'm praying that it works. I wish there would be more medical attention given to women's bodies and hormones and potential relief for some of the symptoms that are so debilitating. I have so many great things to be thankful for but I still don't feel like I can function at 100%, at least the hundred percent that I expect of myself! Thanks for listening. BTW I feel solid spiritually and I have a very healthy diet and exercise routine. Those help, I KNOW!! Any encouragement or suggestions welcome️