I know I've referred to DH's problems with his family from time to time.
How his 3 siblings went on a spree after their Dad died and cleaned a quarter of a million out of the money left for MIL's end care (she had Alzheimers). They were cagey, keeping us from finding out what was going on for about a year or so--that's all it took for them to spend that kind of money! MIL, mind you, was living home, in a mortgage-free home, being cared for by family members and they weren't even taking her to the dr. or giving her her meds.
When we finally caught on (who expects beloved family members to DO that sort of thing?), we discovered that SIL had coerced her parents into signing new wills, that willed her their house at the time of their death--free and clear, and she was the one mainly taking the money from the accounts that would have been the boys' inheritances. Luckily, she and her cohorts lost (accidentally distroyed?) MIL's new will.
We have been fighting all this for the past 8 years--very expensive fight, costing us in the neighborhood of $20,000 that we really couldn't afford, in attorney's, court, and forensic accounting fees. The forensic acct. said it was the second worst case of this sort of theft he'd ever encountered. The outlaws were made to 'repay' a pittance of what they took, more importantly, the courts denied them any more access to the cash, and put a very good, very honest, very caring eldercare attorney in charge of the finances. He's been wonderful, and managed to stretch the few remaining resources out to last as long as MIL needed them.
At the time, the attorneys offered to repay our legal expenses (that's the law, when you bring suit to help someone who cannot help themselves, apparently), but the repayment would have come from MIL's money. We said that wasn't right--we would NOT touch a penny of the money she might yet need for her care. So alternatively, they worked out a deal where, when she died, if the house was still in the estate, we would get a larger portion than the rest to repay our legal expenses.
MIL died last spring. The outlaws didn't even bother to tell us--so we missed the funeral. They are unbelievably callous.
This whole thing has been an 8 year, stressful heartbreak for us. As you can imagine, there's a whole lot more to the storey, but this is getting long enough. One of the saddest things to me--the one that in a long list of things that make me angry, makes me the angriest--is the fact that I used to consider SIL not just an in-law, but my best friend. When we were raising our children, we did everything together. If I went shopping for clothes, I'd buy matching outfits for her daughter, she did the same. My dd and her cousin use to have an expression they used about themselves--"Best cousins/best friends". This whole mess has destroyed the family.
And today it finishes. The lawyer who was taking care of MIL's finances gratiously agreed to be the administrator of the estate. He didn't let the outlaws get away with a thing--he's charging the grandchild who's been squatting in the house for the past year rent. He's making SIL get a mortgage (she still wants the house, and is having to buy it at fair market value), he's made everything as easy as possible for us. At 11 AM, the house transfers to SIL. We will finally be reimbursed for our legal fees. We will have no reason--ever--to see, talk to, or deal with these people ever again. I realize that the cosmos often has a bigger plan for us, too. We expected to have sold our 'old' house by now, and be in the new one fulltime. That hasn't happened--so all the legal papers have our 'old' address on them. I'm glad, I really don't want these creeps knowing where we're moving--there are a lot of bad things about them I didn't mention, and I won't feel as safe in the new place, if they know where we are.
It's almost over. We are tired, we're saddened by the whole thing, but we just want to be able to move on. As horrible as this is to think, to type, we're glad they'll be out of our lives. I told my husband that once this is all settled, we won't talk about them again. I plan to maintain that--but I think I just needed, this one last time, to put this whole thing in order. And issue yet again, a warning to others that just because someone is related to you, just because you've had a great relationship in the past, DOES NOT make them immune from succumbing to temptation, from stealing, from hurting the family. I hope this never happens to any of you, but if it does, don't feel you have to put up with it, just because you're related by an accident of birth.
thanks for listening. I'll be counting down the next few hours, and hoping my attorney lets me know that things went through without a hitch (even if they don't, this fight is winding to a close, thank goodness, it still won't be long until we're free of the whole mess).
rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
suzieque
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