Crossroads check in

12 years ago

Again, I can't thank you all enough for your support.

I have been overwhelmed with stuff lately and have actually found myself doing pro-active things! I'm swamped at work-just buried, and I actually delegated some things for a change. I've been doing things out if the norm for me and it feels soooo good!

Personally I've decided to reclaim my mojo so I got a hair cut & got my nails done. H (can't call him DH) even commented on that. Been talking a lot with him about what I need and at times things have gotten ugly but a lot of air has been clearing and it feels so good to unload it all.

I've been surprised at Hs vulnerability, but I'm not swooping in to caretake him as I've done in the past. We are definitely moving in a different direction, not sure which one yet, but there is movement. And right now that is all I am up to doing. I need to work on me first, and everything else later. I'm finding I like who I can be and at the same time I'm going very deep and letting myself be more vulnerable than I've ever been. I'm kind of picking at those old wounds to open them up so they'll heal. There may be scars but at least they won't continue to fester.

So I am moving along. H is still at our home in the guest room, and mainly because I'm not a heartless witch, I'm not forcing him out until he is physically well. He is in the throes of a nasty infection and is very sick right now. I am not nursing him, however. I am providing basic compassionate care and he's not liking that much. My counsellor told me to tell him that I care about his health but it is not my responsibility to make him better, so I say that and act on that and I can live with that

Thank you all, again. It means so much to me to know you all

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Comments (2)

User
12 years ago
This is wonderful news! As someone that has been there, done that, it sounds to me from your words that you are already far on the path to a better you! You deserve A LOT of credit and pats on the back. I know that it took me WAY longer than it seems to have taken you to get to the point where you know you are worth better. Once you get there, it is wonderful and enlightening.

Remember that YOU come first. Even if H is not feeling well. YOU are the most important thing right now.

Keep it up :-) I speak from experience when I say you will come out stronger and better regardless of the decision you make on your marriage.
nancybee_2010
12 years ago
pesky, you seem to be such a strong (and smart) woman- I'm sure everything is going to work out for the best, whichever way it ends up.

Sending hugs-
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nancybee_2010

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