What you are describing is a little different from refacing. Refacing usually means new doors and drawer fronts, then covering all the rest with a thin veneer to match. That is where the tedious cutting and finish work comes in. Done right, it looks all new, but can be expensive. It can be done DIY if you are parient and confident re: cutting and gluing veneer. If your buddy's custom oak cabinets were new, that is very different from what you are dealing with. You would have to get the existing finish completely off yours before spraying with stain, AND you would have to match somehow the color on the new wood doors to that on the old wood cases (some woods change color over time). The stripping is an awful job and color matching can be dicey. You are looking at a lot of work. Easiest and least expensive fix would be to clean and prep well, paint them and replace the hardware. Or you could darken the stain with gel coats (see nearby thread). Either could be enough to tide you over indefinitely. Next up in cost would be paint/gel but also replace the doors and drawer fronts. But before going to that expense, consider whether the cabinets are worth pouring that kind of money into. Doors are the major part of cabinet cost. And as was said, IKEA is a great way to go if you are looking at replacement cabinets. Though it sounds like your plate is pretty full...

Rip it out and start over.

If you use thinner, you need something to protect the floor if it's anything other than a ceramic tile, and even then it's a good idea to put down something. Also if you're going to work with thinner, make sure you use the right kind of gloves. If the thinner gets trapped against skin, it may cause a nasty burn.

IMO refacing is as expensive as new cabinets so you better love everything about your kitchen before spending this money. I have Ikea high gloss white cabinets they do a finish which is a type of theremfoil I havehad no isses in 14 yrs so that ismy onlyexperience with that finish. How long has the company been around, where are the cabinets made those are the questions you eed to ask , a warrnty is only as good as the company and if made in China the warranty is pretty useless,