I always send TY cards, even if just a note. It's the way I was brought up. I guess I didn't do a very good job with my 2 daughters. They and others in their 20's and 30's. seem to appreciate gifts and being remembered at birthdays, etc because they do verbally thank everyone but they don't send anything written.My SIL recently sent an engagement gift to our nephew but got no response. She is rather P-O'd and says she plans to boycott the wedding. My guess is she sends gifts to get thank-you notes rather than as a token of her affection for young relatives.

hi. i have been saving those cards we all get in the mail for a few yrs have acan full . I want to use them for shingles for a birdhouse or like I told d.d a barbi house I have done basi mock up with tape holding them and it looks pretty cool witht he mixed color . about the time I thought of that they started switching to the kinda papery ones , darn. don,t have a use for it but the curtain thingy would be eay to make . Rick

newhomebuilder, I guess we didn't understand completely -- but we didn't misunderstand completely, either. In your first post, you wrote "I thought it would be nice to include those that we will not be inviting (but would like to,) to come to one of the parties given for my daughter and her fiance." This time, you wrote "We would only invite extended friends to a cocktail party." Unfortunately, I think you still have the same problem, because it is still a party YOU are giving (or at least for which you are making up the guest list). Also, even though it's not A Shower, it's still a party given in honor of the bride and groom around the time of the wedding (I assume). People may still feel like they should bring a gift. And even if there is somehow no expectation or thought of gifts, it's still the B-list event. I do understand that in many communities, 350 isn't an unusual size for a wedding, and many people have large families that expect to be invited. But nowhere is 350 considered a private ceremony, either. 350 = 350 wherever you are. I think lowspark's is the best suggestion: "Now, if you wanted to host a party a few months AFTER the wedding, just to have friends over who missed the wedding and want to meet the bride & groom, I think that would be ok. However, I would just call it a party or get together without intimating any purpose related to the wedding or the couple." I wouldn't even limit the guest list for that party to those who weren't invited to the wedding. If your real purpose is to have all your friends meet the couple, that will do the job. It will not serve to "include" more people in the wedding festivities themselves, though, which is what you said you wanted. And I just don't think there is a way to "include" people without inviting them to the wedding itself. No one can do that for everyone they would like to have, and no one does. Yes, you're right, it's really hard, but you will make your guest list and move on. Those who aren't invited will understand -- they've been there, too. Listen, EVERYONE has the same hard problem! My son and his girlfriend aren't even engaged yet, and I'm already worrying about what we will do about the guest list. I have NO idea how we will manage it, but I am sure we'll figure it out when the time comes. And so will you! So although I'm sorry I cannot help you feel better about what you would love to do, I think in the long run you will be happier if you don't complicate things by trying somehow to include everyone. Lucky you to have so many dear people in your lives.

There are some here. Here is a link that might be useful: Sayings